Bloody Americans......

[Beacon]

Get this after getting BEATEN YES BEATEN at the World Swimming Championships by AUSTRALIA. They have the nerve to write in some newspapers and websites that they are the world champions.

Hello Australia 13 USA 9. YOU LOST except it. your crap you lost to a remarkable sporting nation. SUCK IT DOWN b!tches we WON.

13-9 13-9

AUSTRALIA WORLD SWIMMING CHAMPIONS!!!

[Bjwbell]

what websites?

[simonm]

Come on Beacon, you must know that America is so great, they don't actually have to win things to be considered the world champions!

[Ianpbaker]

hell, even their base ball is called the world series, ever see timbuk too playing in it

[HarryW]

This is probably due to the fact that most Americans don't know there are actually other countries outside the US.

[Gaffer]

Originally posted by Beacon
Get this after getting BEATEN YES BEATEN at the World Swimming Championships by AUSTRALIA. They have the nerve to write in some newspapers and websites that they are the world champions.

Hello Australia 13 USA 9. YOU LOST except it. your crap you lost to a remarkable sporting nation. SUCK IT DOWN b!tches we WON.

13-9 13-9

AUSTRALIA WORLD SWIMMING CHAMPIONS!!!

Nice to see you blokes accepting your victories with grace and style

[filburt1]

Originally posted by Beacon
Get this after getting BEATEN YES BEATEN at the World Swimming Championships by AUSTRALIA. They have the nerve to write in some newspapers and websites that they are the world champions.

Hello Australia 13 USA 9. YOU LOST except it. your crap you lost to a remarkable sporting nation. SUCK IT DOWN b!tches we WON.

13-9 13-9

AUSTRALIA WORLD SWIMMING CHAMPIONS!!!

Don't trash us or you could start a flame war.

[simonm]

Don't trash us or you could start a flame war.

What's a "flame war" when it's at home?

[Jimmy Changas]

Bloody Americans!

[spetnik]

American War Plan Revealed

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Pentagon officials confirmed today plans for a massive attack on countries with Australian-like accents. This includes Australia, England, South Africa, as well as several others. The provocation stems from America's defeat in the World Swimming Championships by Australia (13-9). America, unable to be second-bested at anything, immediately declared themselves the champions, figuring "what could Australia do about it anyways." After bulletin board members on the internet started contradicting the US accounts of the championship, President Bush decided that there is no alternative to war.

The plans are for the US to fly low over the targeted countries with F-15 and F-16 fighter jets, which will launch missles and drop highly powerful explosives. This initial attack will destroy a considerable amount of the military and civilian population, after which the US will come in with tanks and infantry, killing any survivors, and collecting any valuable assets. A pentagon official, speaking on condition of anonymity said, "The first planes have already been sent to South Africa. I think this will finally show the rest of the world who is in charge."

Wall Street analysts say this war will definitely boost the economy as the United States is expected to collect billions of dollars in war spoils. President Bush said that he is planning another tax cut after this is all over, and this time taxpayers will recieve an extra $400 check. "Now that I will have $700, I can go buy this new big-screenTV I wanted," he is quoted saying.

These devlopments come as a shock to British Prime Minister, Tony Blaire, who's only comment was, "I don't know. I thought we were friends."



US F16's loaded with HARM missles, leave for Europe



United States begins bombing of South Africa

[simonm]

Here's the chance I've been waiting for! Finnally a chance to kill some Americans.

I'm off down to the army barracks to enlist!

[barrk]

I wonder how I missed this! What a great opportunity to test the F-22 in an operational environment.

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by spetnik
countries with Australian-like accents. This includes Australia, England, South Africa, as well as several others

Er, no. The English have English accents. The australians have austrarrlian accents, the S Africans have a s african accent etc etc

We sound nothing like each other. About as much as Americans sound like the french.

[spetnik]

Well, they have some things in common. For example, most of us Americans cannot tell the difference (although we all think we can), and also, they all sound like ppl from the middle ages.

[barrk]

My Grandparents all had lovely Irish accents. It is actually quite easy to tell the difference between Australian and British accents. I do have trouble recognizing South African accents though. They sound an awful lot like the Brits to me.

[kedaman]

My Grandparents all had lovely Irish accents

there's nothing compared to Finnish accents

[simonm]

So, when this great war kicks off, before anyone shoots anyone else, they will have to engage in a conversation first in order to determine their accent.

I do have trouble recognizing South African accents though.

Their accents are quite heavilly affected by the native south african dialects.

I have no problem distinguishing them from English accents although I would not be able to distinguish between them and a Zimbabwean accent.

It's Canadian and American that I have trouble with.

[chrisjk]

For some reason I find accents interesting, well, not them themselves, but how they came about and why on the same piece of land the regional variations exist, like the welsh accent where a political border makes a difference to the accent. Very strange in my opinion.

[spetnik]

Originally posted by simonm
It's Canadian and American that I have trouble with.

Well, Canadian and American are extremely similar. I think of Canadian accent as an American accent with extra features. I work at a Canadian company, and think its hilarious how the upper management says stuff like Abewt (about) udder(other) and budder(bother)

[CiberTHuG]

Originally posted by Ianpbaker
hell, even their base ball is called the world series, ever see timbuk too playing in it

We have Canadian teams.

But see, we have a National League and an American League. We just couldn't come up with anything bigger to call the Series other than World.

Besides, I don't think anyone really cares about Baseball except for Japan and Cuba.

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by spetnik
shock to British Prime Minister, Tony Blaire

Tony Blair...no 'e'

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by CiberTHuG


We have Canadian teams.

But see, we have a National League and an American League. We just couldn't come up with anything bigger to call the Series other than World.

Besides, I don't think anyone really cares about Baseball except for Japan and Cuba.

How about the Pacific Series...that would make sense.

[barrk]

Why in the world could this possible matter to you, Chris????

It makes about as much sense as complaining that it is called the world-wide web when it isn't accessible everywhere in the world!

[CiberTHuG]

Originally posted by chrisjk
How about the Pacific Series...that would make sense.

It would, but we don't play baseball with Japan. Besides, we would have a very unfair advantage.

On average the American ball player is taller. We also don't pitch underhanded.

Wow... I don't even like baseball and I'm surprised at how much I remember about it.

'Course, it is better than cricket I guess. :P

I guess North American Series, but that is so long and World Series sells more tickets. I'm not sure why it is a problem though, everyone else plays cricket.

[SteveCRM]

Other countries? In school they taught us that we took all other countries over with ease Bring it on! With our huge egos we can crush you!

[CiberTHuG]

Remember the plan Steve,

We are not taking over the other countries so we can make money from exports.

'Course, Japan seems to have done a better job of that then we did. Guess we didn't smack them down hard enough in the last war.

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by barrk
Why in the world could this possible matter to you, Chris????

It makes about as much sense as complaining that it is called the world-wide web when it isn't accessible everywhere in the world!

Doesn't matter to me at all, I was just suggesting a name because Ciber said they couldn't go much bigger than National/American league, so I suggested pacific (to include Japan), that's all.

[barrk]

I really think we need to start a campaign against such atrocities in America. How dare we do such a thing???!!! We ought to be ashamed of ourselves. Who do we think we are anyway? Who's with me????

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by barrk
I really think we need to start a campaign against such atrocities in America. How dare we do such a thing???!!! We ought to be ashamed of ourselves. Who do we think we are anyway? Who's with me????

??????

[CiberTHuG]

Originally posted by barrk
I really think we need to start a campaign against such atrocities in America. How dare we do such a thing???!!! We ought to be ashamed of ourselves. Who do we think we are anyway? Who's with me????

Here, here!!! And we should rename cheddar cheese after a city in Wisconsin.

(or is it "hear! hear!"?)

[barrk]

Indeed! I think we should rename beef for Texas too! And any act of gross stupidity should be referred to as American politics.

[CiberTHuG]

Originally posted by barrk
Indeed! I think we should rename beef for Texas too! And any act of gross stupidity should be referred to as American politics.

Austin Broil? I can live with that.

[barrk]

I think that since England has stolen curry from India and made it it's national dish...it's only fair that we make fish and chips or bubble and squeak ours!! What do you think? Or perhaps we should rename Yorkshire pudding too!

[chrisjk]

well no, because they call it curry as well, we didnt change the name

[barrk]

We wouldn't dream of renaming Bubble and Squeak....it's a great name! We'll just make it our national dish!

[chrisjk]

it's not like we "stole" it, it's just happens to be our favourite as well as it is India's.

[CiberTHuG]

Sorry, nothing on this planet beats Jambalya or Shrimp Creole.

[Boredbert]

Originally posted by HarryW
This is probably due to the fact that most Americans don't know there are actually other countries outside the US.

No, it's more like, "We don't care if there are other countries outside the US."

[barrk]

This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10-10-95.

CANADIANS: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.


AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

CANADIANS: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say
again, divert YOUR course.

CANADIANS: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the
second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We
are accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and
numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your
course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five
degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to
ensure the safety of this ship.

CANADIANS: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

[chrisjk]

how did he call it?