My plan for thwarting kidnappers

[moonman239]

Carry two cell phones. If I'm kidnapped, the nappers will probably assume I only have one phone, so they'll take one and leave the other. Then, I'll secretly call 911 so the police know I'm in trouble. I'll whisper as many details as I can into the phone, if I can do so secretly. The dispatcher can track my phone using data from the GPS chip and/or the tower the cellphone is connected to. They can also listen to all conversations in the car. This will help them figure out details that I might not have given them such as the how the people in the car sound when they're talking, or other things they wouldn't want the police to know.

I might ask for a bathroom stop on the way to their destination or a waypoint, just so the dispatcher knows where to find me. That can help, because even if they do not pull over, some other driver (preferably a cop) may be able to recall the license plates of the cars that drove by at that time. If they do pull over and let me out, they would basically be driving into a trap, as the dispatcher would send local police to the gas station, where I can then identify my captors to the police, and divulge any information I have regarding the captors that the 911 dispatcher doesn't have.

[dee-u]

I will not get rich.

[honeybee]

Maybe if you grow up and get an ordinary job, the kidnappers won't want to kidnap you in the first place?

Why not paint "I have a foolproof plan to thwart kidnapping" on a board and hand it around your neck, so any potential kidnappers are warned in advance? You don't want them suing you later, do you?

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[FunkyDexter]

Perhaps you could undermine their business by offering to kidnap people for free.

[NeedSomeAnswers]

Perhaps you could undermine their business by offering to kidnap people for free.

or perhaps you could create yourself a robot girlfriend to entertain yourself instead

In fact i have a great book that will help you do all this and more....

[namrekka]

I'm not a kid. I guess I will not be napped.

[SJWhiteley]

Perhaps you could undermine their business by offering to kidnap people for free.

Business opportunity! I bet there's money to be made right there!

[Shaggy Hiker]

You should wear a cheap rubber boot on your head.

Has anybody ever kidnapped a person who they are pretty sure is crazy, but not rich?

In my case, I always be sure to carry a pencil sharpener with me whenever I leave the house. You never know when you will be attacked by a mob, so this is just one measure of security. If the mob is composed entirely of accountants or actuaries, I figure I can win them over by offering up my pencil sharpener.

For a long time, I carried a can of spinach, instead. I was deathly afraid that I would be kidnapped by either Bluto or Popeye. At some point, I found out that they were both fictional cartoon characters, but that accountants were real. Therefore, I switched to the pencil sharpener. It will be a sad day if I end up getting attacked by a mob of accountants and they all have pens, or mechanical pencils. I considered carrying a loofa, in case I got attacked by a mob of super models desiring showers, but I couldn't take all the pitying glances I got from other guys.

Some of this might not be true....though I rather wish the part about the loofa had some chance of coming true.

[dilettante]

You should wear a cheap rubber boot on your head.

Has anybody ever kidnapped a person who they are pretty sure is crazy, but not rich?

I suspect his tinfoil hat, underoos, and galoshes might be enough as it is.

[honeybee]

Accountants are switching to software. You should carry a virus. Or an anti-virus.

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[akhileshbc]

@moonman, what if they do a full body search? Where do you hide your second phone?

Since you are rich, you would be probably carrying iPhones or Galaxy SIII/IV or iPads or something bigger.
So, I don't your idea would work.

So, move onto plan B(if you have)!

[kareninstructor]

I think that you might watch too much television. First off if you happen to be kidnapped you will not get a rest stop other than urinating in your pants, you would be patted down or stripped, all personal items take, electronic devices destroyed.

[honeybee]

Do they actually frisk the hostages? I have never seen that in any of the movies.

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[kareninstructor]

Do they actually frisk the hostages? I have never seen that in any of the movies.

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And they feed them steak dinners

[moonman239]

Good advice. I changed my plan. The best plan is prevention.

Be aware of your surroundings.
Make a scene. Yell "A man with a white collar is trying to kidnap me" if the guy is wearing a white collar. Hurt the perp. Decapacitate him if you can safely do so. Try calling 911 before the guy takes your phone away. If I'm not mistaken, the police will come, even if the guy hangs up too soon. Run in a zig-zag pattern to make it harder for the perp to get you.

[akhileshbc]

Good advice. I changed my plan. The best plan is prevention.

Be aware of your surroundings.
Make a scene. Yell "A man with a white collar is trying to kidnap me" if the guy is wearing a white collar. Hurt the perp. Decapacitate him if you can safely do so. Try calling 911 before the guy takes your phone away. If I'm not mistaken, the police will come, even if the guy hangs up too soon. Run in a zig-zag pattern to make it harder for the perp to get you.

Watch Taken!

Call your dad assuming he is ex-service. Hide under the bed when the kidnapper enters your room. Keep the phone near to the trim of your bed so that your dad can hear it clearly. Next, the kidnapper would try to take you away. Yell out all the marks or clues or anything that you see on the kidnappers, like the height, dress, whether he is having an iPhone, a tattoo or whatever you can see.
And most probably your dad would come to rescue you.

[moonman239]

Watch Taken!

Call your dad assuming he is ex-service. Hide under the bed when the kidnapper enters your room. Keep the phone near to the trim of your bed so that your dad can hear it clearly. Next, the kidnapper would try to take you away. Yell out all the marks or clues or anything that you see on the kidnappers, like the height, dress, whether he is having an iPhone, a tattoo or whatever you can see.
And most probably your dad would come to rescue you.

Wrong. Call the POLICE first. You may be able to reach a dispatcher sooner than you can reach a close friend, who will probably call the police or tell you to do so anyway.

[InvisibleDuncan]

Good advice. I changed my plan. The best plan is prevention.

Be aware of your surroundings.
Make a scene. Yell "A man with a white collar is trying to kidnap me" if the guy is wearing a white collar. Hurt the perp. Decapacitate him if you can safely do so. Try calling 911 before the guy takes your phone away. If I'm not mistaken, the police will come, even if the guy hangs up too soon. Run in a zig-zag pattern to make it harder for the perp to get you.

That plan is just too specific. What happens if he's not wearing a white collar? Your whole plan would be ruined.

Incidentally, a zigzag pattern won't make it harder for him to catch you. It just prevents you from getting very far before he catches up.

[FunkyDexter]

I've got a foolproof plan. I simply alienate all my peers and family so that nobody will pay a ransom. Nobody's going to bother kidnapping me if there's no money in it for them.

[honeybee]

Good advice. I changed my plan. The best plan is prevention.

Be aware of your surroundings.
Make a scene. Yell "A man with a white collar is trying to kidnap me" if the guy is wearing a white collar. Hurt the perp. Decapacitate him if you can safely do so. Try calling 911 before the guy takes your phone away. If I'm not mistaken, the police will come, even if the guy hangs up too soon. Run in a zig-zag pattern to make it harder for the perp to get you.

Too much clutter. You will be confused as to what you have to do first: Should I dial 911, or should I yell, or should I run in a zig-zag pattern? Prioritize and order the tasks. And then practise changing the order at random so that the kidnappers can't predict what you are going to do next.

That plan is just too specific. What happens if he's not wearing a white collar? Your whole plan would be ruined.

Incidentally, a zigzag pattern won't make it harder for him to catch you. It just prevents you from getting very far before he catches up.

Very valid observations. What if he isn't wearing a collar at all?

I've got a foolproof plan. I simply alienate all my peers and family so that nobody will pay a ransom. Nobody's going to bother kidnapping me if there's no money in it for them.

You are forgetting your cat. The kidnappers may force her to pay ransom to free you.

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[kareninstructor]

Good advice. I changed my plan. The best plan is prevention.
Be aware of your surroundings.

http://www.tacticalintelligence.net/...-awareness.htm

Good advice. I changed my plan. The best plan is prevention.

Be aware of your surroundings.
Make a scene. Yell "A man with a white collar is trying to kidnap me" if the guy is wearing a white collar.

We all think under a situation such as this we could put together a sentence like this but not so easy in real life.

Good advice. I changed my plan. The best plan is prevention.
Decapacitate him if you can safely do so. Try calling 911 before the guy takes your phone away.

Do you honestly have any idea how much effort it take to decapacitate a person? It's not like you see on TV.

[kareninstructor]

Wrong. Call the POLICE first. You may be able to reach a dispatcher sooner than you can reach a close friend, who will probably call the police or tell you to do so anyway.

If they are truly motiviated it will not matter who you call even if you can get your phone out. Average response time for police to get to you (no matter where you live) is more than enough time for them to subdue you and hull you butt off.

I can tell you how to train, get on a plane to Mexico, dress like you are important, stand on the street holding lots of cash. Wait for kidnappers, test your ideas out, see how well they do not work

[FunkyDexter]

You are forgetting your cat. The kidnappers may force her to pay ransom to free you.

Hah! The only thing they want from me are my opposable thumbs and they don't really need me for that because all my freinds would hapilly step into the breach and feed them. They're all labouring under the missaprehension that they're cute, lovable bundles of fluff instead of recognising them for the claw filled, psychotic maniacs they truly are.

A while back Shaggy recommended an electronic device that whirled a fluffy toy round at random intervals to keep them entertained and I decided to get one on the off chance that it might help. Do you know what they did? They somehow managed to drag it upstairs, put it under my bed and then set it running at 3am. I woke to weird swishing sounds and thought I was being abducted by aliens. I'm telling you, they're evil genii and I'm well out my league with those two.

We all think under a situation such as this we could put together a sentence like this but not so easy in real life.

True but actually just shouting anything is a pretty good move if you're being attacked. Anything that draws attention to yourself is a good thing.

[tr333]

If the guy doing the kidnapping happens to be Chuck Norris, then there's only one person who could save you... and it's not Mr. T.

[kareninstructor]

If the guy doing the kidnapping happens to be Chuck Norris, then there's only one person who could save you... and it's not Mr. T.

Mr. Gaget

[Niya]

I will not get rich.

lol my mind quipped the same thing as soon I I saw the thread in the Chit-Chat section.

[honeybee]

Hah! The only thing they want from me are my opposable thumbs and they don't really need me for that because all my freinds would hapilly step into the breach and feed them. They're all labouring under the missaprehension that they're cute, lovable bundles of fluff instead of recognising them for the claw filled, psychotic maniacs they truly are.

A while back Shaggy recommended an electronic device that whirled a fluffy toy round at random intervals to keep them entertained and I decided to get one on the off chance that it might help. Do you know what they did? They somehow managed to drag it upstairs, put it under my bed and then set it running at 3am. I woke to weird swishing sounds and thought I was being abducted by aliens. I'm telling you, they're evil genii and I'm well out my league with those two.


True but actually just shouting anything is a pretty good move if you're being attacked. Anything that draws attention to yourself is a good thing.

Now, that's way better than what moonman is suggesting. Keep the kidnappers busy trying to catch the fluffy toy so you get enough time to actually do everything that moonman said. I still don't understand why they would need your opposing thumbs.

If the guy doing the kidnapping happens to be Chuck Norris, then there's only one person who could save you... and it's not Mr. T.

Mr. Gaget

It's Rajnikanth!

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[namrekka]

... if the guy is wearing a white collar...

That Santa guy......I never trusted him.

[FunkyDexter]

Keep the kidnappers busy trying to catch the fluffy toy

Ooh, I hadn't thought about it like that. So I've inadvertently bought the perfect kidnapping deterrent. That'll provide me with great comfort as I like awake at night in fear of being probed.

... if the guy is wearing a white collar...

Father Ted?

[Shaggy Hiker]

Make a scene. Yell "A man with a white collar is trying to kidnap me" if the guy is wearing a white collar.

Ah, so you expect to be a victim of white collar crime?

[moonman239]

Ah, so you expect to be a victim of white collar crime?

No. He could be wearing a yellow collar, in which case I'll yell "A man with a yellow collar is trying to kidnap me." He could be wearing no collar and I'll change "yellow collar" to some other way of identification, such as the lack of a collar, or the color of his shirt, or the color of his skin or hair.

[Shaggy Hiker]

What if it's dark out? Would you yell "A man with a collar that I can't see is trying to kidnap me"?

Of course, if it's a man with a yellow hat, just tell him that you are not a monkey.

(I'd be curious to see if anybody understands that strange reference).

[FunkyDexter]

Anyone who does would have to be particularly handsome. Georgeous even.

[honeybee]

Of course, one could always watch Baby's Day Out to learn firsthand what you can do to thwart the kidnappers.

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