10 things l like about England

[Jethro]

Thought the Poms might need some cheering up after recent events.

1. Chelsea FC, went out with a chick that got real hot when the lads won:rolleyes:

2. English humour, Ab Fab, Red Dwarf, Monty Python etc etc.

3. James Herbert.

4. Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, David Bowie etc etc etc.

5. Leeds is there and not here.

6. The Bill.

7. London.

8. Will Carling for the old farts comment....lol.

9. The Barmy Army.

10. The lads and girls from that country that are members here.

Excuse me, while l go and have a rest, must be the work load

[chrisjk]

I'd have to agree with all of those, except the Leeds thing (and maybe the chick that got hot when Chelsea won). I think we should give leeds to some other neutral country, e.g. Belgium.

Could you believe they bloody sacked him for that old farts thing?!?! Luckily they saw sense, if only briefly.

And what's this about recent events?

[Jethro]

Er....foot and mouth, race riots,....oh l see what you mean. Migrate, plenty of your people are now living happily down under.

Another Danny and Skank (from Leeds, stayed in a flat l was sharing) story...just remembered it...

You will recall it was "Our Danny" this and "Our Danny" that....

Well one night Paulie and myself after a few cleansing ales down the boozer staggered home to find the intrepid duo had go to bed early....nudge nudge wink wink.

One thing lead to another and l found myself with a glass pressed up to their bedroom wall, waiting for the climatic statement

"Faster our Danny, Faster"

Was hoping to make a .wav file out of it.

[Beacon]

i must agree wit ya jro!

But i dont want to see this anywhere else on these forums ya here me!!

[Jethro]

Sorry for this unAustralian behaviour Beacon

But dammit, if you had to live in Pomgolia wouldn't you want something to cheer you up

[Beacon]

If they learnt to laugh at themselves like we do they'd be insanly happy all the time!

[zuperman]

what i like most in England is:
...
...
...
...
...
...
well, cant remember anything, sorry...

just kidding, England made the first European alliance (with Portugal)
what i like more in England is Manchester United and the punk rock bands...

[Jethro]

Oh okay have it now....a province of Spain

[zuperman]

dont say that, please, we are a very old country, we had the world shared with spain, in that times we were a powerfull country, we have a lot of history, we are country of good working people...u can play with anything about us, but dont say that...we are not spanish like the ireland and england, we are as free country...

[Beacon]

And they gave us Nando's chicken Jethro

[Jethro]

Originally posted by Beacon
And they gave us Nando's chicken Jethro

We call it Portugese style bondi chicken. Don't ask me about the name, have no idea where that came from.

Ahh.......the country, got it now. Where the cork comes from that gets stuck in the top of aussie wine bottles. Great place, the Spanish can just leave it alone.

Was only joking zuperman, am well aware that Portugal is an independant country, with a former empire, colonies etc.

[SurfDemon]

LOL especially number 5.

SD

[simonm]

I appreciate you Aussies rying to cheers us up but you forget one thing: we're british! We like moaning about everything.

[Mark Sreeves]

Originally posted by Jethro


7. London.

????
It's not all Routemaster double decker busses and black cabs you know!



Things I don't like about England:
House prices
Fuel prices
The Government
Daft laws and regulations

the media's obsession with comparing us to North America


I'm not particulally proud to be English but I'm glad I'm not any other nationality

[CiberTHuG]

*quietly sneaks in*

10. They provide for good humor on a slow news day (go Prince Charles).

9. They wear bright red uniforms and liked to march in straight lines.

8. They fight better than the French.

7. Their flag is red, white, and blue. I don't think I could stand to have inherited red, white, and green.

6. Monty Python

*runs as the upset fans throw rotten fruit*

Sorry, couldn't help it.

[barrk]

1. Harry
2. Jamma Guy
3. Parksie
4. Arbiter
5. Simon
6. Ian
7. tumblingdown
8. PaulW
9. Chris
10. All the other Brit Chit-Chat posters I haven't mentioned.

[SurfDemon]

One of the things I like about England is....



...I'm not there


SD

[Mark Sreeves]

...and the best thing to come out of London is the A40!

[SurfDemon]

Mind you, my personal list would have to be

1)Boddingtons
2)Comedies (Red Dwarf etc.)
3)The BBC World News (unbiased global events - you don't realise how important it is until you live in North America)
4)Old Fogey Music (The Beatles, rolling stones etc.)
5)Real Cadbury's chocolate (not for me, this stuff keeps my wife happy... which keeps me happy)
6)Steam pudding. (a.k.a. Heart attack in a tin. Heaven)
7)The spitfire (certainly one of the most graceful planes ever made)
8)Old films (The pink panther, James Bond, The italian job etc.)
9)Rolls-Royce cars
10)My Mum
oh yeah 11) Rugby


Of course to balance it we have a list of things which England should be burned to the ground for inflicting on us .... (some of these may have come from Scotland, but we'll blame England anyway)

1)Hedgehog flavoured crisps
2)Deep fried Mars bars
3)Will Carling (******)
4)Jeremy Beadle
5)The crusades (yes, I know it was a long-time ago)
6)Carry-on films
7)Union Jack underwear (worn by English football hooligans unaware that the Union Jack is infact the flag for the whole of Britain....thanks guys)
8)Cricket
9)The spice girls music (I don't mind looking at them, it's just, do they have to sing?)
10)Lager Shandy


SD

[simonm]

Hedgehog flavoured crisps?

I've never heard of them. Where do you get them? I'm always up for trying a new flavour!

[SurfDemon]

They had them in Britain about 20 years ago. Golden Wonder did them just to p*ss off the animal rights activists. It worked a treat.

They just tasted like smokey bacon though, which seemed a bit of a con as I'd spent part of my hard earned (okay given to me by my parents for free) dinner money on a pack.

SD

[barrk]

Originally posted by SurfDemon
4)Old Fogey Music (The Beatles, rolling stones etc.)

I beg your pardon, Mr. Demon!

[SurfDemon]

Don't worry, I was trying to distinguish between real music from my youth and the rubbish they play on the wireless these days (takes out false teeth for good rant).

I consider myself an Old Fogey in this respect (though the Beatles were before my time), the stones, the police, Queen etc. were all definatly my era.... well the stones are still going, so technically they're veryone's era.

Er, phew, I think I got away with that Anyway, to change the subject, Were you working on that scram jet? Is that why the rather dubious sounding "inspectors" are in?

SD

[parksie]

I like old music

[barrk]

Nope...I work on the F22. SAF/AQ comes to inspect us to make sure we are following the security guidelines etc.

[SurfDemon]

Originally posted by parksie
I like old music

Come closer young whippersnapper so I can thrash you with my walking stick.

SD

[barrk]

You're lucky you have portable music, Parksie...when I was a kid we had to carry birdcages around with us and goose the canary into singing if we wanted to hear music while we were walking 20 miles to school, barefoot, in the snow, uphill both ways

[parksie]

[SurfDemon]

Originally posted by barrk
Nope...I work on the F22. SAF/AQ comes to inspect us to make sure we are following the security guidelines etc.

I guess there's a whole pile of people from the scram-jet project looking to be transferred to new projects

I once interviewed a guy for a job, on his c.v. he said he had worked on the Arianne 5 rocket (The European Space agencies new rocket) for 5 years. He wrote up loads about all the work he'd done on it...... The morning of the interview it blew to smithereens on the test bed and was all over the news. I was killing myself laughing when I interviewed him and he was laughing about it as well. I gave him the job.

SD

[SurfDemon]

Originally posted by barrk
goose the canary

Does this mean the same thing in America as it does in Scotland? If so, thats kinda weird!

SD

[parksie]

Hahaha Deviants go for that

[barrk]

I think it probably does...and yep...I'm weird

[chrisjk]

Sd: You mentioned Deep fried mars bars. They came from a chippie in Glasgow...

They have apparently contributed massively to the fact that Scotland is one of the worst places in europe for heart disease.

[SurfDemon]

Doh!

Well, I'll blame England for them, because we always blame them for all our troubles anyway.

Yeah, it's pretty sad, though at least we can say Glasgow's a world leader.... we just don't need to say in what field....

SD

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by SurfDemon
Well, I'll blame England for them, because we always blame them for all our troubles anyway.

So true, so true.

[Good Dreams]

Isn't Red Dwarf austrailian?

[chrisjk]

Originally posted by Good Dreams
Isn't Red Dwarf austrailian?

Don't say things like that in public!!! Red Dwarf is very much british.

[SurfDemon]

Originally posted by Good Dreams
Isn't Red Dwarf austrailian?

You are taking the p*ss aren't you

It's British/(English to be specific). Lister is from Liverpool.
Mind you the bird (kachansky) was Scottish.

SD

[Good Dreams]

...Ok
hehe

zuperman: portugal is a load of ************ **** ***** and ***** ***** *** covered with ******** and ****** which only think about football which *********** ***** **** BTW. Clear?

[Jethro]

Originally posted by SurfDemon


You are taking the p*ss aren't you

It's British/(English to be specific). Lister is from Liverpool.
Mind you the bird (kachansky) was Scottish.

SD

Unfortunatly Aussie comedy sucks! We have some good stand up comedies, and politicians, but our sitcoms are totally crap.

Forgot to mention the greatest show ever to make TV Men Behaving Badly. And no katie it ain't a documentary.