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Thread: Why I will soon be barking

  1. #1

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    Former Admin/Moderator MartinLiss's Avatar
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    Why I will soon be barking

    (Not original with me).

    On the first day, God created the dog and said:

    'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

    The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

    So God agreed.

    On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

    'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

    The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

    And God agreed.

    On the third day, God created the cow and said:

    'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

    The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years... How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

    And God agreed again.

    On the fourth day, God created humans and said:

    'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

    But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

    'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

    So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

    Life has now been explained to you.

    There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.

  2. #2
    type Woss is new Grumpy; wossname's Avatar
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    Re: Why I will soon be barking

    Then you weave a cocoon and metamorphose into a deadly radioactive moth.

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    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! mendhak's Avatar
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    Re: Why I will soon be barking

    In England, if you live past 80, they make you the queen.

  4. #4
    Smitten by reality Harsh Gupta's Avatar
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    Re: Why I will soon be barking

    Quote Originally Posted by mendhak
    In England, if you live past 80, they make you the queen.
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    PowerPoster JuggaloBrotha's Avatar
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    Re: Why I will soon be barking

    Quote Originally Posted by mendhak View Post
    In England, if you live past 80, they make you the queen.
    So if I move to England and when I surpass 80, I can become queen?

    I didn't know guys could become female when turning 80 to become queen.
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    coder. Lord Orwell's Avatar
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    Re: Why I will soon be barking

    Quote Originally Posted by mendhak View Post
    In England, if you live past 80, they make you the queen.
    hmph
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    Super Moderator FunkyDexter's Avatar
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    Re: Why I will soon be barking

    So if I move to England and when I surpass 80, I can become queen?
    A queen, yes.
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    Hyperactive Member Davadvice's Avatar
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    Re: Why I will soon be barking

    in Scotland you become the Queen Mother.
    This is Blank

  9. #9
    Fanatic Member Psyrus's Avatar
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    Re: Why I will soon be barking

    Me on my porch...

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    Frenzied Member mar_zim's Avatar
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    Re: Why I will soon be barking

    Quote Originally Posted by mendhak View Post
    In England, if you live past 80, they make you the queen.

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