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  • Satan's good

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  • Satan's great

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  • Satan rocks make no mistake.

    8 80.00%
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Thread: Hello

  1. #1

    Thread Starter
    New Member Satan's Avatar
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    Hello

    Seeing all these religious threads I'm feeling grossly misrepresented and quite frankly lied about, so I'm here to correct you on all your misconceptions on yours truly, the prince of darkness.

    Just for some quick basic information.



    1. I represent indulgence instead of abstinence!

    2. I represent vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams!

    3. I represent undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit!

    4. I represent kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!

    5. I represent vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!

    6. I represent responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!

    7. I represent man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all!

    8. I represent all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!



    9. I am the best friend the Church has ever had, as I have kept it in business all these years!


    If you want any more info, just ask. And don't believe anything anyone tells you about me, I'm not all bad.

  2. #2
    The Devil crptcblade's Avatar
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    Hello Satan...I've always had one question that I've wanted to ask...

    are you Santa?

    I ask because you both have the same letters in your name, just mixed up, you both wear red...you see where I'm going with this?

    I mean the only real difference between you is Santa lives in the cold, and tortures midgets, while you live in the heat, and torture the souls of the eternally damned...

    Also, I sold my soul to you last year around Easter for a box of animal crackers, and I still haven't gotten them, should I go to the Complaint Department, or is there a form to fill out, or what ??

    Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you just water down your vodka.


    Take credit, not responsibility

  3. #3

    Thread Starter
    New Member Satan's Avatar
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    I'm often confused with Santa, I don't really have the weight problem he does, but he does work for me, He's my chief executive in charge of making christmass godless and fun. Also I don't torture the damned, that whole eternity of pain thing is just what the next morning feels like after the parties we throw down here.

    I'm not really in the business of buying souls. That's just a rumour set about by the con artists who buy them in my name. I'll send you your soul back post haste and smite the bastard who bought it.

  4. #4
    Jethro
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    Wink Oh my good God where are the christians

    Always interesting to met a mythical character on the web. From your discreption above you are probably Bill Gates.

  5. #5
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    Thumbs up Satan!!

    I have been looking 4 youuuuuuuuu.

  6. #6
    PowerPoster Beacon's Avatar
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    Yeah Satan bedsheets are cool i agree!

  7. #7
    chenko
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    Satan rocks man!!!!!! Can I have your autograph?

  8. #8

    Thread Starter
    New Member Satan's Avatar
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    Jethro,
    Oh my good God where are the christians
    Good point, where are all the christians, nice bit of blashepmy as well. Good work.


    SatansSpawn,

    And now you've found me, I love it when a plan comes together.

    Beacon,

    I wondered who'd nicked me bedsheets, give them back.

    Chenko,
    I don't do autographs, I have a signet ring instead, but here's a print of it.


  9. #9
    chenko
    Guest
    Thanks Satan!

    but now I want to make love to you!!

  10. #10
    Lively Member Jamagei's Avatar
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    running from you. You freak.
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    Satan, you ass is huge and red, who am i going to imagine you are? Lisa Minelli!?!

    Yeah you like that don't you *****!!

    Satan and Saddam up a Tree
    K-I-S-S-I-N-G

    How childish am i?
    Now, aren't you sorry you didn't just keep on scrolling?

  11. #11
    Fanatic Member simonm's Avatar
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    Question A question

    Satan, There's one thing I've always wanted to know: Is it true that Robert Johnson went to the Crossroads where he sold his soul in exchange for being able to play the blues better than any other man alive?

  12. #12
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    Smile Satan

    I love you

  13. #13
    chenko
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    Satan is mine!!!!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


    BTW Satan, are you Ned Flanders?

  14. #14
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    Pleased to meet you and yes, I did guess your name! But, I'm puzzled...what exactly is the nature of your game????

  15. #15
    Hyperactive Member Pix's Avatar
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    Don't be mean Honeybee - where's your sense of tolerance?

    BTW Hiya Satan

  16. #16
    transcendental analytic kedaman's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Hi satan

    I've confused you a lot with Santa and tons of other ppl and concepts, but we really need to know each other better now.
    Use
    writing software in C++ is like driving rivets into steel beam with a toothpick.
    writing haskell makes your life easier:
    reverse (p (6*9)) where p x|x==0=""|True=chr (48+z): p y where (y,z)=divMod x 13
    To throw away OOP for low level languages is myopia, to keep OOP is hyperopia. To throw away OOP for a high level language is insight.

  17. #17

    Thread Starter
    New Member Satan's Avatar
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    Simonm & chenko,

    no.

    Jamagai,

    very childish, nice one.

    Everybody,

    No making love to Satan. I remain faithful to the Lady Babylon. But seeing as she's the force of free love and sexual freedom she'l f**k your brains out if you want.


    Katie,

    Congratulations, but if you guessed my name correctly you'll notice it isn't Rumpelstiltskin, so you don't get any prizes for guessing it.

    honeybee

    I do exist I think you'll find, whether I'm a corporal spirit or just an Ideal and a philosophy is up to you, but I exist all right. I exist in all those who wear their emotions in their hearts and on their faces not in some putrid little ball in their stomach. I exist in all those who take their destiny into their own hands and don't rely on hope or some god who never answers their prayers. I exist in all those who will challenge the beliefs of others and find their own rather than accepting lies with faith. And as Jethro pointed out, these are the richest most powerfu people on earth.

    You know I exist, and as kedaman will tell you you don't know anything else. Check the signature.

  18. #18
    transcendental analytic kedaman's Avatar
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    I believe in you Satan!

    oh yeah, thanks for the pointer, Satan, I think you if anything i can almost say i know you exist! I'll put you in my signature.
    Use
    writing software in C++ is like driving rivets into steel beam with a toothpick.
    writing haskell makes your life easier:
    reverse (p (6*9)) where p x|x==0=""|True=chr (48+z): p y where (y,z)=divMod x 13
    To throw away OOP for low level languages is myopia, to keep OOP is hyperopia. To throw away OOP for a high level language is insight.

  19. #19
    Frenzied Member HarryW's Avatar
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    What's puzzling you
    Is the nature of my game
    So err... what's puzzling me? Or is that gonna be a recursive definition. Err..... *Confused*
    Harry.

    "From one thing, know ten thousand things."

  20. #20
    chenko
    Guest
    Originally posted by Satan
    [BNo making love to Satan. I remain faithful to the Lady Babylon. But seeing as she's the force of free love and sexual freedom she'l f**k your brains out if you want.[/B]
    Nice , But I dont want her! I'd start to worry Satan... As im coming for you! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

  21. #21
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    DOWN BOY!



    Pleased t'meet ya Satan
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  22. #22
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    Hello, hello Satan

    You are more than one or just one? Or can you transform yourself into various things?

    Hmm, Why do I have the feeling that my english is becoming a **** AGAIN?...

  23. #23
    egiggey
    Guest
    Why did you damn us with windows 95 satan i've never been loyal to you quick everyone run to the light

    see it over there its Linux damn satan to eternity with win 95 sr1

    hehehe

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