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Thread: Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T

  1. #1

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    Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T

    Quote Originally Posted by penagate
    Quote Originally Posted by timeshifter
    Challenge Mr. T to a fight, then challenge Chuck Norris to a fight... tell them the same time, same place... set up several hidden video cameras.
    Indeed this is the solution to the apocalypse. Since Mr. T and Chuck Norris are each undefeatable by definition, a fight between the two of them will thus prolong the end of the world indefinitely.
    In fact, here's inconclusive proof of little merit!

    timeshifter says (1:13 AM):
    what happens when a roundhouse kick meets the pity?
    timeshifter says (1:13 AM):
    would that finally answer the question of what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
    penagate says (1:15 AM):
    At the point where the roundhouse kick meets the pity, the roundhouse kicker and the pitier will both enter a state of suspended animation while physics attempts to catch up.
    timeshifter says (1:15 AM):
    lol
    timeshifter says (1:16 AM):
    although i must wonder what pity looks like in action
    timeshifter says (1:16 AM):
    when met with physical danger, does it take a physical form?
    timeshifter says (1:16 AM):
    or does the sheer awesomeness of the pity simply cause the pity'eed's heads to asplode?
    penagate says (1:17 AM):
    Pity is an intangible force
    timeshifter says (1:17 AM):
    then how shall it stop the roundhouse kick?
    timeshifter says (1:17 AM):
    which as we know from countless movies, is VERY tangible
    penagate says (1:17 AM):
    although Mr. T might have an inherent weakness if pity relies upon perception of awesomeness.
    timeshifter says (1:17 AM):
    lol
    timeshifter says (1:18 AM):
    are we then going under the assumptino that Chuck Norris is more awesome that Mr. T?
    penagate says (1:18 AM):
    Chuck Norris will undoubtably be resistant to the force of awesomeness.
    timeshifter says (1:18 AM):
    i must remind you that Chuck Norris doesn't have a Night Elf Mohawk
    penagate says (1:18 AM):
    so, assuming that Mr. T's pity relies upon the perception that Mr. T is awesome, it will have no effect upon Chuck Norris.
    timeshifter says (1:18 AM):
    this is waaaaay funnier than it should be... i need sleep
    penagate says (1:19 AM):
    Alternatively, if pity is defined as a physical force, then it will—in theory—stop the roundhouse kick. However, since the roundhouse kick is unstoppable, the impact of the two forces will cause a physical paradox which results in the suspension of time.
    timeshifter says (1:20 AM):
    hence stalling the end of the world
    penagate says (1:20 AM):
    useful for meeting deadlines
    timeshifter says (1:20 AM):
    which works otu to everybody's benefit
    timeshifter says (1:20 AM):
    so if i can just get those two to fight before the end of the work week, i'll be all set
    penagate says (1:21 AM):
    You'll need to get Chuck Norris to travel to Mr. T, rather than the other way round, since he ain't getting on no damn plane.
    timeshifter says (1:21 AM):
    lol
    timeshifter says (1:21 AM):
    i wonder if pity is a ranged attack
    penagate says (1:21 AM):
    that is true
    timeshifter says (1:22 AM):
    if so, we may not need to get anybody to travel at all
    timeshifter says (1:22 AM):
    if Mr. T launched a distance pity attack, which Chuck Norris countered with a roundhouse kick
    timeshifter says (1:22 AM):
    it's entirely possible that the result will be the same as if they were fighting in close combat
    penagate says (1:23 AM):
    Mr. T's pity can be felt worldwide. However, all physical forces have a nodal point at which they are strongest. Therefore, the suspension of time must occur at a radius about the location of Mr. T where the strength of pity matches the force of the roundhouse kick.
    timeshifter says (1:23 AM):
    and who on earth knows where that point is?
    timeshifter says (1:23 AM):
    where's Darth Vader when you need him?
    penagate says (1:23 AM):
    Since both Mr. T and Chuck Norris are equally awesome, they will find this point automatically
    timeshifter says (1:24 AM):
    lol
    timeshifter says (1:24 AM):
    Mr. T might have yet another unnoted advantage
    timeshifter says (1:24 AM):
    the sheer amount of gold he wears must flex the gravitational forces in his vicinity
    timeshifter says (1:24 AM):
    surely this would have some effect on the point in questino
    penagate says (1:24 AM):
    this gives the distance attack some merit. It's entirely possible that Chuck Norris may be blinded by the gold.
    timeshifter says (1:25 AM):
    we're gonna have to post this on vbf
    penagate says (1:25 AM):
    however, I feel that this would have no effect on the force of his roundhouse kick
    timeshifter says (1:25 AM):
    probably true
    penagate says (1:26 AM):
    Yeah, let's post this jibba-jabba on VBF.
    penagate says (1:26 AM):
    Would you care to do the honours?
    timeshifter says (1:26 AM):
    i was gonna ask you the exact same thing
    timeshifter says (1:26 AM):
    minus the "u" in "honors"
    penagate says (1:26 AM):
    on no! a space-time paradox!
    timeshifter says (1:26 AM):
    oh shi...

  2. #2
    Frenzied Member MaximilianMayrhofer's Avatar
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    Re: Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T

    *sla..

  3. #3
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    Re: Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T

    I guess the two must have already met in a fight, since we appear to be in the middle of temporal disruption that has brought us back into the mid '80s.

    Interesting side note - apparently, Mr. T is still alive. Also, both he and Chuck Norris are Born Again Christians and thus have no incentive to battle and stop the end of the world but are instead anxiously waiting for it.
    (VB/C#) is clearly superior to (C#/VB) because it (has/doesn't have) <insert trivial difference here>.

  4. #4
    Fanatic Member CodedFire's Avatar
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    Re: Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T

    Mr.T is on the irish snickers ads, very funny.
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    Frenzied Member zaza's Avatar
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    Re: Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T

    The rate of change of penagate's credibility as a result of having posted this conversation with the bullshifter is, astonishingly, too steep a gradient to measure.
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  7. #7
    I'm about to be a PowerPoster! mendhak's Avatar
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    Re: Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T

    If you visualize the graph, it's actually taking a U-Turn.

  8. #8
    Frenzied Member MaximilianMayrhofer's Avatar
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    Re: Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T

    That makes no sense at all, because it would imply that it is increasing. Fail.

  9. #9
    Hyperactive Member Foxer's Avatar
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    Re: Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T

    It would be an n turn.
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