Marriage

Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her name was always.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

In the beginning, God created Earth and rested.
Then God created man and rested.
Then God created woman.
And since then, neither God nor man has rested.


...pretty funny.


Click this link to read the rest and tell me what you think .

http://sendingfun.com/marriagejokes/

[Edited by Matthew Gates on 11-04-2000 at 03:30 PM]

[zmerlinz]

lol, that was very funnt especiallt the one about not talking to your wife for 18 months because you don't like to interupt her.

Very Funny

Merlin ?

[barrk]

Grow your own dope.....plant a man!

[barrk]

Sounds more human than some humans I know!!!

he thinks he is 2 things...


1) a VERY LARGE dog... he hates small dogs, but he only wieghs 10 pounds..

2) a person, he only eats people food, he drinks soda's, juice, milk, and likes cold water.

he's only got one problem.... he <ahem>'s too much... and if you don't know what i mean by <ahem> well, you need to... well, you should know.. so i'll stop talking here....

[barrk]

Let me see....he's a male dog. He eats lots of cheese. It could only be one of two things!

Ummm.... what are you talking about???

<ahem> - Ummm... starts with an M.... but it's not really appropriate to mention it here....

[barrk]

I was thinking of fart and something else I can't mention because I'm a lady :-)

Originally posted by barrk
P.S. Remember, Matthew started this fued. Actually, I really love men. They provide me with hours and hours of humor and entertainment. :-) (lol)

Your a female barrk? Wow, I didn't know that.
Learn something new everyday.
I'm talking to a female programmer! How do you do?
Nice to meet you, have I ever helped you before?
Hehe .

well, if you wanna see what my dog looks like, go here
http://ww1.realftp.com/denniswrenn/sammy1.jpg
http://ww1.realftp.com/denniswrenn/sammy2.jpg


the pictures may not be uploaded yet,
sammy1.jpg should be soon...

[barrk]

Thanks a lot Matthew! You are one smart kid! I appreciate all the help. But that doesn't mean the feud is off!

[barrk]

Is that a dog? (lol)

yes, it's a dog,
sammy2.jpg should be uploaded by now...

[barrk]

he's pretty cute considering he's a little rat dog instead of a real dog (lol). Gotta go home to my real dog (a chocolate lab). See ya!

[HarryW]

Aaaaagh I hate small yappy-type dogs... they just bark at nothing, goddamnit it gets on my nerves. Anyway...

It's official, girls can't throw.

He's a really expensive breed.... he's at least a $700 dog...
you wouldn't beleive it if you saw him after he's been chewing flees for a week though...

[barrk]

He starts out raw as grapes and it's a woman's job to stomp on him and keep him in the dark until he matures into something she'd like to have dinner with.

(lol)

[HarryW]

Haha, now that is funny =]

[Sophtware]

You just love men dont you

[barrk]

I really do love men. I just think that there is a lot of humor that has it's basis in reality. I'm no fem-nazi though. I've been married for 19 years and have a great relationship with a wonderful, intelligent and strong-minded man. It's all in fun! If we can't laugh at ourselves we're all lost.

Besides, Matthew started it!

Laugh at ourselves.... sure... I can't laugh at myself while laughing at this, because I am not a woman,
but I still like laughing at it....

http://ww1.realftp.com/denniswrenn/pic28214.jpg

[barrk]

It looks more like an annual convention of cell phone users to me though!

no,
it's definatly an annual meeting of women drivers...


you can tell, because none of the cars are cool... they are all "Family cars"

Ok, lets all laugh now...

http://ww1.realftp.com/denniswrenn/1045.jpg
http://ww1.realftp.com/denniswrenn/2989.jpg



[Edited by denniswrenn on 11-07-2000 at 12:24 PM]

[barrk]

One of the huge crosses we have to bear as women. We drive the family cars while our husbands drive extensions of their...oops I mean the men get to drive sports cars!

I have been wondering for a while....
what state do you live in??


where I live, there are almost no sports cars... just family cars....

actually, most are a cross between the two....

[barrk]

I live in California.

Ohhh.
I live in virginia

[barrk]

Are you in school right now?/? How do you spend so much time on-line and still get homework, chores, life etc done?

No, I am not in school right now...
an incident in gym class involving a soccer ball, my head, and the floor, made me go home...

I also get to use the schools T1 line between 12:30 and 1:20

I post a little from there too...


and for homework,
I do it before I go to gym(1st period), and at lunch...

chores... do 'em at about 8pm,

life.... whats that?

[barrk]

Sorry to hear about your traumatic incident. Got you out of school though, didn't it? My kids use every excuse they can to skip school....Mom, I've got a hang-nail...I have a vision problem (I can't see going to school today)...etc.

a vision problem... hehe, never tried that before

but for me it may work, if I lose/break my glasses, I am totally ****ed......

I am soooo blind without my glasses, it's not even funny......



Not that I would ever try a stunt like that...

[HarryW]

*** is a hang-nail?

Oh yes, *** is another abbreviation for you Barrk... not quite so polite as the others though

[barrk]

A hang-nail is when the little cuticle next to your fingernail starts to fray and it stings like hell but is not life threatening but gives you whining rights. It's really mostly just used as an expression for a very slight injury you inflate into much more!

hangnails suck... but whats even worse is ingrown toenails......


they hurt like ****!!

[HarryW]

Ahh right, thanks. Mutual education

[barrk]

Does **** hurt? If so, consult a doctor.

[HarryW]

*Chuckle*

[barrk]

That's what's known in my country as a very lame joke. I just couldn't resist.

[kovan]

head...*
what ze hell is going on?