here is an idea

ricmitch_uk · Jun 30th, 2002, 03:42 PM

One fine morning after brunch, Johnny was skipping through the woods, singing Enter the Sandman by Metallica, when he stumbled over the body of a man. Around the man were several empty cans of Fosters, and a bag from Carlos' Kebab Hut. He was breathing heavily, as Johnny reached over and....

**Wynd** · Jun 30th, 2002, 04:33 PM

One fine morning after brunch, Johnny was skipping through the woods, singing Enter the Sandman by Metallica, when he stumbled over the body of a man. Around the man were several empty cans of Fosters, and a bag from Carlos' Kebab Hut. He was breathing heavily, as Johnny reached over and looked to see if there were any leftovers in the bag, the man let out a huge belch and grabbed his ankle. Johnny looked down and...

**VB_ChickenPower** · Nov 17th, 2002, 07:30 PM

Once upon a time in a land of magic and make-believe there lived a creature so astounding, so amazing, so magical that no one had seen it and survived. It's amazingness just blew them away. This marvellous creature's name was Stefan Raab. It wandered the land far and wide, telling riddles that made no sense whatsoever and planting raddisches along the way, thus earning itself the nickname Johnny Raddischseed. One fine morning after brunch, Johnny was skipping through the woods, singing Enter the Sandman by Metallica, when he stumbled over the body of a man. Around the man were several empty cans of Fosters, and a bag from Carlos' Kebab Hut. He was breathing heavily, as Johnny reached over and looked to see if there were any leftovers in the bag, the man let out a huge belch and grabbed his ankle. Johnny looked down and there was a mutated floppy disk with bunny ears...

**petrus** · Nov 29th, 2002, 05:16 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre.

**mendhak** · Dec 19th, 2002, 03:19 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way.

**alkatran** · Dec 19th, 2002, 08:39 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

**mendhak** · Dec 20th, 2002, 01:12 AM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets.

**alkatran** · Dec 20th, 2002, 06:37 AM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

**mendhak** · Dec 23rd, 2002, 03:33 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

**alkatran** · Dec 23rd, 2002, 10:21 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

**mendhak** · Dec 25th, 2002, 09:24 AM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

**alkatran** · Dec 26th, 2002, 12:28 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

**kleinma** · Dec 26th, 2002, 02:06 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to...

**alkatran** · Dec 26th, 2002, 02:27 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to... ITT Tech and knew absolutly nothing about politics!

**kleinma** · Dec 26th, 2002, 03:04 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to... ITT Tech and knew absolutly nothing about politics! He did know a great deal about pushing the up button for elevators in hotel lobbys though, so they found the closest hotel they could...

**mendhak** · Dec 26th, 2002, 03:20 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to... ITT Tech and knew absolutly nothing about politics! He did know a great deal about pushing the up button for elevators in hotel lobbys though, so they found the closest hotel they could...

They entered the Hard Rock Cafe and entered the kitchen, thinking it was the elevator. Inside was Bruce Willis, in a drunken stupor, carrying a stapler. Bruce saw Dicks face and hated it immediately. Bruce stapled Dicks face to Tom's hand, and Tom's other hand to Harry's ass. THey were now condemned to roam the Earth forever like this.

**kleinma** · Dec 26th, 2002, 03:23 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to... ITT Tech and knew absolutly nothing about politics! He did know a great deal about pushing the up button for elevators in hotel lobbys though, so they found the closest hotel they could...

They entered the Hard Rock Cafe and entered the kitchen, thinking it was the elevator. Inside was Bruce Willis, in a drunken stupor, carrying a stapler. Bruce saw Dicks face and hated it immediately. Bruce stapled Dicks face to Tom's hand, and Tom's other hand to Harry's ass. THey were now condemned to roam the Earth forever like this. Unless they found a staple remover.

**visualAd** · Dec 26th, 2002, 03:38 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to... ITT Tech and knew absolutly nothing about politics! He did know a great deal about pushing the up button for elevators in hotel lobbys though, so they found the closest hotel they could...

They entered the Hard Rock Cafe and entered the kitchen, thinking it was the elevator. Inside was Bruce Willis, in a drunken stupor, carrying a stapler. Bruce saw Dicks face and hated it immediately. Bruce stapled Dicks face to Tom's hand, and Tom's other hand to Harry's ass. THey were now condemned to roam the Earth forever like this. Unless they found a staple remover.

Then SUDDENLY Harry's head fell off, Tim, at the thought of having ot be buried in a coffin next to Harry with his hand stapled to his arse passed out.

**mendhak** · Dec 26th, 2002, 03:40 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to... ITT Tech and knew absolutly nothing about politics! He did know a great deal about pushing the up button for elevators in hotel lobbys though, so they found the closest hotel they could...

They entered the Hard Rock Cafe and entered the kitchen, thinking it was the elevator. Inside was Bruce Willis, in a drunken stupor, carrying a stapler. Bruce saw Dicks face and hated it immediately. Bruce stapled Dicks face to Tom's hand, and Tom's other hand to Harry's ass. THey were now condemned to roam the Earth forever like this. Unless they found a staple remover.

Then SUDDENLY Harry's head fell off, Tim, at the thought of having ot be buried in a coffin next to Harry passed out. Dick just died.

**visualAd** · Dec 26th, 2002, 04:12 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to... ITT Tech and knew absolutly nothing about politics! He did know a great deal about pushing the up button for elevators in hotel lobbys though, so they found the closest hotel they could...

They entered the Hard Rock Cafe and entered the kitchen, thinking it was the elevator. Inside was Bruce Willis, in a drunken stupor, carrying a stapler. Bruce saw Dicks face and hated it immediately. Bruce stapled Dicks face to Tom's hand, and Tom's other hand to Harry's ass. THey were now condemned to roam the Earth forever like this. Unless they found a staple remover.

Then SUDDENLY Harry's head fell off, Tim, at the thought of having to be buried in a coffin next to Harry passed out. Dick just died. Just as Tim was coming round Superman in all his might, but clearly too latey, entered the kitchen through the wall knocking down a cabinet of staple guns collected by Bruce Willis.
All the staple gun's simultaniousely went off. Shielding Tim from the flying staples Superman immeadiatly turned his throughts to seperating Tims hand from Harry's decapitated body.
With his laser eyes he was sure to serparate them effotlessly. Suddenly superman was hit in the back by a staple made from kryptonite and in pain lurched backward accidently slicing off Tim's left arm.

**alkatran** · Dec 26th, 2002, 08:08 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to... ITT Tech and knew absolutly nothing about politics! He did know a great deal about pushing the up button for elevators in hotel lobbys though, so they found the closest hotel they could...

They entered the Hard Rock Cafe and entered the kitchen, thinking it was the elevator. Inside was Bruce Willis, in a drunken stupor, carrying a stapler. Bruce saw Dicks face and hated it immediately. Bruce stapled Dicks face to Tom's hand, and Tom's other hand to Harry's ass. THey were now condemned to roam the Earth forever like this. Unless they found a staple remover.

Then SUDDENLY Harry's head fell off, Tim, at the thought of having to be buried in a coffin next to Harry passed out. Dick just died. Just as Tim was coming round Superman in all his might, but clearly too latey, entered the kitchen through the wall knocking down a cabinet of staple guns collected by Bruce Willis.
All the staple gun's simultaniousely went off. Shielding Tim from the flying staples Superman immeadiatly turned his throughts to seperating Tims hand from Harry's decapitated body.
With his laser eyes he was sure to serparate them effotlessly. Suddenly superman was hit in the back by a staple made from kryptonite and in pain lurched backward accidently slicing off Tim's left arm. Superman then exploded with rage, literally.

With the United States' ambassadors dead, George Bush was faced with a difficult decision: how to convince France not to attack. He thought for many hours until the most obvious solution came to him! THe US was saved! All he had to do was...

**petrus** · Dec 27th, 2002, 07:34 AM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to... ITT Tech and knew absolutly nothing about politics! He did know a great deal about pushing the up button for elevators in hotel lobbys though, so they found the closest hotel they could...

They entered the Hard Rock Cafe and entered the kitchen, thinking it was the elevator. Inside was Bruce Willis, in a drunken stupor, carrying a stapler. Bruce saw Dicks face and hated it immediately. Bruce stapled Dicks face to Tom's hand, and Tom's other hand to Harry's ass. THey were now condemned to roam the Earth forever like this. Unless they found a staple remover.

Then SUDDENLY Harry's head fell off, Tim, at the thought of having to be buried in a coffin next to Harry passed out. Dick just died. Just as Tim was coming round Superman in all his might, but clearly too latey, entered the kitchen through the wall knocking down a cabinet of staple guns collected by Bruce Willis.
All the staple gun's simultaniousely went off. Shielding Tim from the flying staples Superman immeadiatly turned his throughts to seperating Tims hand from Harry's decapitated body.
With his laser eyes he was sure to serparate them effotlessly. Suddenly superman was hit in the back by a staple made from kryptonite and in pain lurched backward accidently slicing off Tim's left arm. Superman then exploded with rage, literally.

With the United States' ambassadors dead, George Bush was faced with a difficult decision: how to convince France not to attack. He thought for many hours until the most obvious solution came to him! THe US was saved! All he had to do was to give away US to France, and France would hand it over to Bush again because the French didn't want it so easy. The country was saved!!! But Bush didn't thought that France maybe would attack later. Bush sent out super spies to spy on France and one of them, James Bond, met a nice girl and stayed in France, disobeying the orders and Her Majesty in the UK sent out both 006 and 008 to kill James Bond, this made the boss in the Spectre angry because they wanted someone to tell their plans for.
Spectre started planing a counterattack at France because it was there James Bond met the nice girl but they realised it was the USA's fault that James Bond went to France so they decided to attack USA, first take all the goldreserves in Fort Knox and later build a spacestation and eliminate the whole earth.
But when they started Plan A (babysitting) a girl...

**visualAd** · Dec 27th, 2002, 02:00 PM

Once upon a time Jeremy and his monkey were watching Bay Watch and drinking beer. They heard a very loud crash just outside the bedroom window. The monkey, whose name was Zsa-zsa, quickly jumped onto Jeremy's head. This blocked Jeremy's view for a moment so he couldn't see the Orangutan breaking into his car just outside the window. This upset Jeremy badly so he was forced to spank the naughty monkey! The monkey started getting red and swollen and pulled out his little helmet. But just when he thought the monkey couldn't take any more a sea anemone came into the room and swallowed his shiny helmet. "fine, screw you all. I prefered the beer slipping myself" Said Jeremy. He started getting really drunk and began telling his famous story of how he used to wash Hilter's car... Hitler being the name of his hairy Auntie. She used to go out with this horse named Tinkles, and she found out how he got the name the hard way. "Let me tell you...you've never really cleaned anything until you clean horse piss out of a glove compartment," he would say. Then he would run around the room naked until Zsa-zsa would start to swing from his appendage as if it were a jungle vine..."How'd it gwt so big?," he said. and the horse replied "'cause butt-nuts like you keep swinging from it..." "Did someone say Butt-nuts?" enquired Dr Who as he stepped out of his tardis. Dr Who always loved a good nibble on some butt-nuts was followed by his large breasted but psiibly jail-bait assistant Ace. All Ace seemed to be able to say was "You couldn't grow stink on a monkey..." This confused the monkey to the point where he put on an apron and called himself the "Mississippi *****". If there's one thing that Ace like better than butt-nuts it was Mississippi *****s...the monkey was in great peril. Ace slipped the monkey a fiver and told him to meet her in the...desert. This was a wierd request to the monkey, until he realized...sand = friction Oh la la...

Just as the monkey was leaving to meet Ace Jeremy grabbed him by the tail and said "Son, make sure that you use pleanty of lubrication and...er...can...I come? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top. Zsa-zsa told Jeremy he couldn't come because of all the hours upon hours that Jeremy had sat in his room spanking the poor monkey in the past.

Vowing revenge, in a fit of jealousy Jeremy reached for Inflatable Ingrid, who was leaking a bit as she hadn't been emptied in a over a week. He ran after Ace shouting out "..........so would a root be out of the question.". Unfortunatly inflatable Ingrid got caught on a rose bush and burst, spilling her gooey contents all over Ace. Ace looked at him and said "You need to cut down on your salt intake" then promptly kicked him square in the...flowerpot by the door, which promptly shattered, covering them in a hail of soil and earthworms... Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) suddenly came running out of the house screaming "flobba dobba dob boba", roughly translated means "what have you done?! our precious flowerpot is ruined!!" Bill reached into his pocket and pulled out a picture of Chris Tarrant. "I love this man" cried Bill, "now you have destroyed our home and I am going to kill you Ace". Ben looked shocked...It appeared that his trousers had come undone. Bill looked away in embarrassment and noticed a helicopter flying over the horizon towards them... Upon closer inspection he realised that it was in fact a large fat man, wearing one of those caps with a propellar on top, who had just been catapulted from the nearby Catapults R Us testing site. as this guy fell to the floor from the sky and once the dust had settled they discovered that it was Keith from Prodigy and he suddenly broke into a rendition of "Smack my ***** up" with bill and ben as backing vocals.

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to... ITT Tech and knew absolutly nothing about politics! He did know a great deal about pushing the up button for elevators in hotel lobbys though, so they found the closest hotel they could...

They entered the Hard Rock Cafe and entered the kitchen, thinking it was the elevator. Inside was Bruce Willis, in a drunken stupor, carrying a stapler. Bruce saw Dicks face and hated it immediately. Bruce stapled Dicks face to Tom's hand, and Tom's other hand to Harry's ass. THey were now condemned to roam the Earth forever like this. Unless they found a staple remover.

Then SUDDENLY Harry's head fell off, Tim, at the thought of having to be buried in a coffin next to Harry passed out. Dick just died. Just as Tim was coming round Superman in all his might, but clearly too latey, entered the kitchen through the wall knocking down a cabinet of staple guns collected by Bruce Willis.
All the staple gun's simultaniousely went off. Shielding Tim from the flying staples Superman immeadiatly turned his throughts to seperating Tims hand from Harry's decapitated body.
With his laser eyes he was sure to serparate them effotlessly. Suddenly superman was hit in the back by a staple made from kryptonite and in pain lurched backward accidently slicing off Tim's left arm. Superman then exploded with rage, literally.

With the United States' ambassadors dead, George Bush was faced with a difficult decision: how to convince France not to attack. He thought for many hours until the most obvious solution came to him! THe US was saved! All he had to do was to give away US to France, and France would hand it over to Bush again because the French didn't want it so easy. The country was saved!!! But Bush didn't thought that France maybe would attack later. Bush sent out super spies to spy on France and one of them, James Bond, met a nice girl and stayed in France, disobeying the orders and Her Majesty in the UK sent out both 006 and 008 to kill James Bond, this made the boss in the Spectre angry because they wanted someone to tell their plans for.
Spectre started planing a counterattack at France because it was there James Bond met the nice girl but they realised it was the USA's fault that James Bond went to France so they decided to attack USA, first take all the goldreserves in Fort Knox and later build a spacestation and eliminate the whole earth.
But when they started Plan A (babysitting) a girl from Brazil they were hit by the news that a 200km astreoid was heading for the Eath destine to wipe out all life. All the nations of the world in one big effort gathered together their nuclear arsenals in a bid to eliminte mankind before the asteroid. Unfortuinalty scientist mistakenly identified the moon as an asteroid and in an effort to prevent the attack the Queen of Great Britain......

**alkatran** · Dec 27th, 2002, 09:06 PM

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to... ITT Tech and knew absolutly nothing about politics! He did know a great deal about pushing the up button for elevators in hotel lobbys though, so they found the closest hotel they could...

They entered the Hard Rock Cafe and entered the kitchen, thinking it was the elevator. Inside was Bruce Willis, in a drunken stupor, carrying a stapler. Bruce saw Dicks face and hated it immediately. Bruce stapled Dicks face to Tom's hand, and Tom's other hand to Harry's ass. THey were now condemned to roam the Earth forever like this. Unless they found a staple remover.

Then SUDDENLY Harry's head fell off, Tim, at the thought of having to be buried in a coffin next to Harry passed out. Dick just died. Just as Tim was coming round Superman in all his might, but clearly too latey, entered the kitchen through the wall knocking down a cabinet of staple guns collected by Bruce Willis.
All the staple gun's simultaniousely went off. Shielding Tim from the flying staples Superman immeadiatly turned his throughts to seperating Tims hand from Harry's decapitated body.
With his laser eyes he was sure to serparate them effotlessly. Suddenly superman was hit in the back by a staple made from kryptonite and in pain lurched backward accidently slicing off Tim's left arm. Superman then exploded with rage, literally.

With the United States' ambassadors dead, George Bush was faced with a difficult decision: how to convince France not to attack. He thought for many hours until the most obvious solution came to him! THe US was saved! All he had to do was to give away US to France, and France would hand it over to Bush again because the French didn't want it so easy. The country was saved!!! But Bush didn't thought that France maybe would attack later. Bush sent out super spies to spy on France and one of them, James Bond, met a nice girl and stayed in France, disobeying the orders and Her Majesty in the UK sent out both 006 and 008 to kill James Bond, this made the boss in the Spectre angry because they wanted someone to tell their plans for.
Spectre started planing a counterattack at France because it was there James Bond met the nice girl but they realised it was the USA's fault that James Bond went to France so they decided to attack USA, first take all the goldreserves in Fort Knox and later build a spacestation and eliminate the whole earth.
But when they started Plan A (babysitting) a girl from Brazil they were hit by the news that a 200km astreoid was heading for the Eath destine to wipe out all life. All the nations of the world in one big effort gathered together their nuclear arsenals in a bid to eliminte mankind before the asteroid. Unfortuinalty scientist mistakenly identified the moon as an asteroid and in an effort to prevent the attack the Queen of Great Britain shot herself in an effort to distract the media. Luckily, the Queen's efforts worked, the media stopped paying attention to the soon-to-be nuclear war, and so the governments dropped the issue as well.

Now that the world was safe again, the question was raised: who is crazy enough to become the new Queen? Osama Bin Laden was almost instantly coronated Queen of England! Sadly, so much responsibility had a positive effect on him, and he was deamed sane, then thrown out of a helicopter with a rope tied to his *****, he died shortly thereafter.

*special note (DO NOT COPY INTO STORY) the story became too long, the forums wouldn't take the reply, so I removed the first few paragraphs.

**mendhak** · Oct 5th, 2003, 01:48 AM

Meanwhile, high above the earth, a Vogon spaceship glistened in the sunlight like a fart in a theatre. Iran launched nuclear missiles at it and it exploded into thirty million pieces out of which one landed on Bill as he was spanking an orangutan. The orangutan went bezerk and gobbled a glass of oil, and zoomed off towards 10, Microsoft Way. There he met Bill Gates who started mooing and trying to lift 2-pound weights. Unfortunately for Bill, half of the thirty million pieces of the Vogon spaceship hit him square in the pants and the terrible secret of him being a woman was unveiled.

This sent the media into a frenzy and they all started biting each other like caffeine crazed sharks suffering from PMS. This biting frenzy spread to the Linux community and they all destroyed each other. This was, of course, part of Bill Gates' plan. Now all that remained was a damn tube of toothpaste stuck inside his womanly secrets. The frenzied media and linux community then set on a rampage, destroying all technology wherever they saw it, saying it was "bad for the overies???".

Soon only Mr. Clean had a computer left, and he wouldn't let anyone's hands near it, as it could get a slight smudge.

Then a giant dancing tomato from Pluto told Mr.Clean that prevention is better than cure, so Mr.Clean broke the monitor so that it would never get smudged. BUt one of the glass pieces pierced the tomato's skin and there were tomato guts everywhere.

This was the worst mess Mr.Clean had ever seen and he immediatly feel unconscious and started to twitch. Luckily, Bill and Ben (the flowerpot men) knew what to do, they began throwing dirt everywhere, forcing Mr.Clean to wake up to stop the increasing mess. Unfortunately for Bill and Ben, Mr.Clean turned out to be homocidal in face of stress....

Ben and Bill ran away from Mr.Clean's house and decided to elope in Philadelphia. The Flyers were still disappointed by the loss of Eric Lindros from their team that they immediately appointed Bill and Ben as presidents and Philadelphia broke away as an independent nation. Their currency would be omelettes and their constitution was written on hemp paper, which Mr.Clean smoked the very next day and killed El Salvador Dali.

Neanwhile, on the other side of the ocean, France was finishing its plans for an attack on America. Now that Philadelphia was seperated, victory was assured. George Bush, however, was aware of his danger, and sent ambassadors to Philadelphia in hopes of reintegrating them into the US. The United States' only hope now rests on the team of ambassadors/propane experts, Tom, Dick, and Harry.

Unfortunatly on the way Tom divided like a single cell organism to form an exact duplicate of himself.. they were still joined at the right foot pinky toe due to a bad burrito he had eaten for breakfast. Dick came down with a bad case of the flu.. or so he told his compainions.. they believed him because he was gushing this guey substance that had to be from congestion and he looked rather limp. If only Harry and TomTom knew the truth that Dick really had gone to... ITT Tech and knew absolutly nothing about politics! He did know a great deal about pushing the up button for elevators in hotel lobbys though, so they found the closest hotel they could...

They entered the Hard Rock Cafe and entered the kitchen, thinking it was the elevator. Inside was Bruce Willis, in a drunken stupor, carrying a stapler. Bruce saw Dicks face and hated it immediately. Bruce stapled Dicks face to Tom's hand, and Tom's other hand to Harry's ass. THey were now condemned to roam the Earth forever like this. Unless they found a staple remover.

Then SUDDENLY Harry's head fell off, Tim, at the thought of having to be buried in a coffin next to Harry passed out. Dick just died. Just as Tim was coming round Superman in all his might, but clearly too latey, entered the kitchen through the wall knocking down a cabinet of staple guns collected by Bruce Willis.
All the staple gun's simultaniousely went off. Shielding Tim from the flying staples Superman immeadiatly turned his throughts to seperating Tims hand from Harry's decapitated body.
With his laser eyes he was sure to serparate them effotlessly. Suddenly superman was hit in the back by a staple made from kryptonite and in pain lurched backward accidently slicing off Tim's left arm. Superman then exploded with rage, literally.

With the United States' ambassadors dead, George Bush was faced with a difficult decision: how to convince France not to attack. He thought for many hours until the most obvious solution came to him! THe US was saved! All he had to do was to give away US to France, and France would hand it over to Bush again because the French didn't want it so easy. The country was saved!!! But Bush didn't thought that France maybe would attack later. Bush sent out super spies to spy on France and one of them, James Bond, met a nice girl and stayed in France, disobeying the orders and Her Majesty in the UK sent out both 006 and 008 to kill James Bond, this made the boss in the Spectre angry because they wanted someone to tell their plans for.
Spectre started planing a counterattack at France because it was there James Bond met the nice girl but they realised it was the USA's fault that James Bond went to France so they decided to attack USA, first take all the goldreserves in Fort Knox and later build a spacestation and eliminate the whole earth.
But when they started Plan A (babysitting) a girl from Brazil they were hit by the news that a 200km astreoid was heading for the Eath destine to wipe out all life. All the nations of the world in one big effort gathered together their nuclear arsenals in a bid to eliminte mankind before the asteroid. Unfortuinalty scientist mistakenly identified the moon as an asteroid and in an effort to prevent the attack the Queen of Great Britain shot herself in an effort to distract the media. Luckily, the Queen's efforts worked, the media stopped paying attention to the soon-to-be nuclear war, and so the governments dropped the issue as well.

Now that the world was safe again, the question was raised: who is crazy enough to become the new Queen? Osama Bin Laden was almost instantly coronated Queen of England! Sadly, so much responsibility had a positive effect on him, and he was deamed sane, then thrown out of a helicopter with a rope tied to his *****, he died shortly thereafter.

But not without leaving his mark on the world. As he hung by his genitalia from the helicopter, his turban fell to the ground and was caught by a bird flying north for the winter. It was a stupid bird, and it's stupidity was attributed to it's usage of Macromedia Corn flakes.

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maybe we should start underlining what we add?

Re: maybe we should start underlining what we add?

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