My pwnage of an annoying family at the cinema

I went to the cinema a few days ago, to watch Toy Story 3. Now, this was no ordinary movie outing for me. I had been waiting, waiting and waiting for Toy Story 3. For a long time.

I grew up with the Toy Story series. Sure, the 2nd one wasn't as good as the first, but it didn't matter, the point is that it's Toy Story - this is the movie that started everything. One of the first animated movies that was for both kids as well as grown ups. That's an achievement.

To prepare for this movie, I spent a lot of time preparing. I didn't watch any TV. I didn't read any reviews about Toy Story 3. I didn't google it. If anyone ever talked about it, I would walk out of the room immediately.

You should understand, sometimes there's something so precious to you, you don't care what others think about it, you want to enjoy the experience with it which is something only you would understand - there's no point talking about it, it's YOURS.

That's what Toy Story 3 was to me. The US got Toy Story months before the UK, which made things very difficult. I had to wait and actively not seek information on it.

But all of that hard work was going to pay off - the day had finally arrived. I had my ticket...

I went to the cinema early - it was a 9 AM show. This is very important to me. The show must be early when there are (hopefully) fewer people out. I sat down, ready, and waiting.

As I was sitting there in anticipation, along came this family - it was a mommy, a daddy and their 6 or 7 year old daughter. They sat in the row behind me. I didn't think much of it at the time. I could have moved, but I didn't, because I liked the seat I was in.

The kid started getting excited. I didn't think much of that either - kids get excited by everything, right? I figured everything would be great once the movie started.

And finally the movie started. The trailers and stupid car adverts were done. It was TOY STORY 3, folks!

Oh there was Woody! And Buzz Lightyear! The 3 little aliens! It was great... at first.

And then that annoying little brat, who by this time had engorged herself on copious amounts of sugary coke, was hyperexcited. She started yelling out the character names as they were coming on screen. But that isn't the worst bit.

She was yelling the names out before they would show up on screen.

Oh god. This could only mean one thing - they had seen Toy Story 3 before and they had shown her this movie at least 2 or 3 times.

I was fearful.

Think about this - don't you just HATE it, absolutely HATE it when someone ruins the ending of a book or movie for you? Am I right? Of course you hate it. It's one of the worst things anyone can do. It should be a CRIME!

That was my fear. This little girl had seen this movie several times and was shouting out what was going to happen next. She was actually shouting not just characters but the next SCENE in the movie.

After a few minutes of this, I couldn't take it any more. I turned around and said to the parents, "Could you please keep her quiet, I haven't seen this movie before."

The mother just glared at me, as though I had smeared mud upon her precious little snowflake. The dad coldly said "OK."

And they asked her to be quiet.

The peace lasted for about 5 minutes.

She started up again, and this time she was jumping to different parts of the movie, parts that weren't going to happen for another half an hour.

At one point in the movie, Woody gets hit on the head, and it could have been a really funny moment, except she shouted it out a minute before "This is the part where Woody gets hit on the head, better not jump on that train Woody!!"

I RAGED.

I turned around and said, straight to the daughter, "And this is the part where you get Coke poured all over you if you keep ruining the movie for me."

The dad said "Hey, don't talk to my daughter like that, you have a problem, you talk to me."

I said, "I told you to keep her quiet. If you can't do it, I WILL. Now DO IT."

You see, show yourself as assertive, and they will listen. So they got the little runt to shut up once more.

This time the peace lasted 10 minutes.

"Daddy I want more Coke!" she yells.

I turned around and said, "Want mine?"

She started crying. Her mother was raging at me, as though her little brat had done nothing wrong in the world. And she got up and called the usher over.

Oh, this will be fun, I thought...

The usher came over and I calmly waited while the mother "explained" that I was harassing their daughter and wouldn't let their family watch the movie peacefully. You see, she emphasized the word family since a family were pure and sacred and could do nothing wrong... but as she lied through every part of her body, I waited patiently. I had threatened them and had tried talking to their daughter for devious purposes, it seems.

This whole time, the daughter is unperturbed by this. She starts yelling out MORE parts of the movie.

WHILE the usher was there.

And then the worst bit.

She yelled out the ending.


The mom and dad froze.

I froze.

The usher didn't react at all - he turned to all of us and said, "You're all going to have to leave. Right now."


ME? Leave? What? His usher friends came over to make sure we did leave. I tried saying, but I didn't do anything. They said they know but clearly neither of us could be their without it being unfair. So I had to go and I'd get a refund if I liked.


But I didn't want a refund, I wanted Toy Story 3.

But I as also in shock at what that... maggot of a child had done.

She yelled out the ending to Toy Story 3.

I walked out to the car park, it was the nearest place with open air. I needed a smoke after that. I badly needed a smoke...

So I was there, sitting on the pavement, smoking.

Along came precious snowflake, her witch of a mother and her daddy. They had called the cops over to confront me...

So you get thrown out of the movie hall along with them.
That's your loss, since they had seen the movie before.

Are you posting from jail, now? Inquiring minds would want to know.

The brat and her family had obviously explained "their side" of the story and the cops didn't look too kindly upon this non-family man who was obviously so uncultured, he was sitting on the pavement to smoke.

"Excuse me sir, I'd like to speak to you about the accusations that this family is making upon you. They are saying that you tried to harass their daughter?"

I didn't wait for any BS. None of this talk talk let's make things better. I got up and looked him straight in the eye and said my piece -

"I was asking their little brat to shut up so I could watch a movie in peace. I wanted to enjoy my movie. I would like to apologize to this little brat, this witch and this dunce of a dad for trying to watch my movie in peace. What about you officer, do you like watching movies while someone's yelling out the scenes to you?" I think I had connected because the expression on his face changed and it seemed like he understood - he actually understood - my situation.

The dad was red and the mum was red. With anger. Oh joy.

I continued, "I would also like to thank this little brat for yelling out the ending to the movie, perhaps I could have asked them in advance and not gone to this movie I have been waiting for for the past 8 months. Thank you, little brat."

That triggered the dad. He was about to lunge forward to punch me in the face - and I'm a definite weakling, my only exercise consists of smoking - he was just about to, when I saw something miraculous.

It's ingrained into my memories I can replay this moment forever and ever and I won't forget the details.

The dad was lunging towards me, one leg lifted, one hand reaching out...

when that cop who I "connected with"

reached out with his foot

and ever so slightly... ever so slightly... nudged the dad's leg.

And the dad fell flat on his face. Not even a comical flat, it was a bone crunching flat that made me wince.

He gets up, his face is streaming with blood from his nose. The mother is gasping and the daughter starts crying.

The cops start laughing. The dad is furious and livid and he simply picked himself up, grabs his daughter's hand and walks off.

The cop gave me a knowing wink and walked off with his group. I think this was slightly worth it. I definitely think it wasn't COMPLETELY worth it, just a tiny bit of solace.

This, my friends, was my only consolation on this terrible day when I found out that Woody dies at the end of Toy Story 3.

Thanks for ruining the ending! Now you can delete post #5.

Err... did you get the refund :ehh:

Great story!

EDIT: Who cares about the refund, I'd pay 5 ticket for an outcome like that. :)

:lol:

congrats on your tiny victory there mendhak. I too saw toy story 3 just 2 weeks ago (it's only been in theaters for a month here in the states).

mendhak, you went alone to see the movie ?
You should be bringing your friends along with you, when you go for a movie ! If there's a chance to fight, they might be helpful... ;)

http://static.open.salon.com/files/f...1239990885.jpg

:afrog:

As soon as I saw that pic, 'Born to be wild' started playing in my head :)

For real?
That is f-ing epic :afrog:
You have become my favorite three-eyed frog

I don't believe a word of it after the bit where you said the cop tripped the dad over. Funny though.

Oh and PS, Toy Story sucks and always did.

At first I believe especially the 1-3 post but it get's cheesy and cheesy so I give up but funny though.

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Originally Posted by wossname

I don't believe a word of it after the bit where you said the cop tripped the dad over. Funny though.

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If a cop did something like that in America, the entire Police Department would get sued. :(

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Originally Posted by abhijit

If a cop did something like that in America, the entire Police Department would get sued. :(

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Not always. Don't ask how I know.

How do you know?

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As soon as I saw that pic, 'Born to be wild' started playing in my head

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As soon as I read that, 'Born to be wild' started playing in my head

Quote:

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Originally Posted by wossname

Oh and PS, Toy Story sucks and always did.

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Not as much as Ice Age...

http://www.vbforums.com/images/ieimages/2009/10/1.jpg

It's worse when people stand up in front of you when the fireworks start ;)

Ice Age was no threat to Cars.

2 out of 300 people in this thread got the joke.

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Originally Posted by mendhak

2 out of 300 people in this thread got the joke.

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If the joke was that you ranted about someone ruining toy story and then spoiled the ending, I got it :D

There was a joke in this thread?!

Do we have to watch the stupid movie before we will get the joke?

mendhak's story must be true because a VBForums moderator could never tell a fib.

The joke was that the ending that was spoiled for him was wrong. Woody doesn't die.

Next time I'll just do the punchline. Just like in the movie Inception where Leonardo Di Caprio's character actually turns out to be a vagabond who hitches a ride on a large ship sailing towards the west, and he meets a girl there and the ship sinks and everyone dies.

Attachment 79663

*swings elbows* I'm so smart. No you're so smart. No I am.

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Originally Posted by MaximilianMayrhofer

The joke was that the ending that was spoiled for him was wrong. Woody doesn't die.

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Yeah Andy just give them to a kid.


opss..:ehh:

I went to see Toy Story 3 as well. I'd seen it a couple of times before, but I really liked it and I wanted to go again. My folks hadn't seen it though, so I went along with them. The trouble was, I get really excited in films and I just can't stop myself from getting a bit worked up. Fortunately, most people don't seem to mind, and appreciate the fact that somebody enjoys movies as much as me.
Sadly, there was this guy who sat right in front of me with a massive box of popcorn, which he chomped and smacked all the way through the film. And whenever I got a bit worked up, he would turn round and say some sarky comment to try to make me feel really small. Then he started with the abuse, threatening to tip my drink over me. He kept getting more and more angry, until my parents had to call the staff over as we were starting to feel really scared for our safety. Then the usher had the audacity to throw us all out, not just this violent bully! I was actually worried about going on the street with him.

We got outside and he was sat there waiting for us. He had obviously gone and painted some horrible picture to the police, because there were a couple of them standing around nearby. One of them walked over, made some pretence of asking what the problem was, and then wrestled my dad to the floor and threatened to lock him up. It was the worst day of my life.

Except for the day I first saw Toy Story 3 and found out that Woody gets dropped in a shredder and used as compost in a council allotment.

Fortunately because of mendhak's description in post #2 we now know that zaza is a 6 or 7 year old girl.

So there's a movie theatre in either the Borneo Rainforest or Ulaan Baator, and one or both of them traveled. :confused:

Seriously though what's the joke? I've only got an optimistic maximum of 35 years left and I don't want to depart this mortal coil without understanding this thread.

There is no spoon

Penfold sarcasm serves well.

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Originally Posted by MaximilianMayrhofer

Penfold sarcasm serves well.

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:mad:

Don't even think about bringing the ex-tractor back.

I have less than no idea what is going on

Don't worry, it's about as interesting as an extra .ctor.

Edit: Fixed.












See wut I did thar?

I see what you did, but I've never heard the phrase "as interesting as an extractor" before so it doesn't really make sense :D Plus, it should be .ctor not ctor. :D

ctor. Find great services and information here! It's quick and simple - you won't regret trying our super search index!

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Now I'm even more confused. But that big smiley face makes up for it.

Big Smiley Face
Big Smiley Face at 50+ Online Stores. Shop Now!

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Originally Posted by minitech

Big Smiley Face
Big Smiley Face at 50+ Online Stores. Shop Now!

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It's blue and underlined, but I can't click it.
The horror! :eek:

Nice.

I woulda just talked to the Usher after the warning I gave, and had them kicked out.

Were you in England?

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Originally Posted by capsulecorpjx

Nice.

I woulda just talked to the Usher after the warning I gave, and had them kicked out.

Were you in England?

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I think you missed the fact that most of this (if not all) was made up...

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Originally Posted by chris128

I think you missed the fact that most of this (if not all) was made up...

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You're right, I didn't read that last line.

Good thing I don't care about the Toy Story franchise, probably cause I didn't really have toys when I was a kid, except for skateboards and balls.

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Originally Posted by capsulecorpjx

except for skateboards and balls.

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At least you had those, I had to pretend to be a man.

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Originally Posted by capsulecorpjx

I didn't really have toys when I was a kid, except for skateboards and balls.

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"Junior! I've told you before, don't bring your toys to the dinner table!"

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Originally Posted by JuggaloBrotha

At least you had those, I had to pretend to be a man.

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haha it was only a matter of time until someone made a joke about that :lol: