Stupidest Question List

OK, Here on the beautiful island of Maui in Hawaii I have been keeping a list of "Stupid Tourist Questions". Pay attention these are all TRUE!!!! Here are some of my favorites...

1 - The most popular question tourist ask when being picked up from the airport by a LOCAL is: Do you live here?

2 - One day while leaving the airport to venture to the other side of the island, we are traveling in a clockwise direction (it is an island) and the lady asks: Does the water stay on the left?

3 - Again coming from the airport going to the other side of the island, a woman asks "So you still can't drive to Honolulu?". Well, if you know anything about Hawaii you would understand that we are in the middle of a very deep ocean, in an earthquake region, a volcano that is in constant eruptions and Oahu is about 100 miles away. You think that this is the region for bridges and tunnels?

4 - Yet again coming from the airport (maybe it's the jet lag...) a lady asks: "Does the water go all the way around the island?" Perhaps this lady flunked geography and better still never look on a map before leaving home as to her destination? You would think that that 5-6 hour flight over nothing but water would have given her a clue...

5 - Upon seeing a neighboring island from the coast of Maui, A lady (Yet again) asks: Is that Japan? The island is only 7 miles away...

So what stupid questions have you heard?

where do i pay my attention?

Have you tried PayPal??? You might be able to purchase some there :p

i think i might need an ATM....

ATM, my opinion of dclamp is being lowered by epic amounts.

Is that possible? I thought you were already approaching the Limiting value of your respect function..

As did I...

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Originally Posted by timeshifter

ATM, my opinion of dclamp is being lowered by epic amounts.

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¿ATM Machine? :confused:

Responses Hack would have given

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Originally Posted by randem

1 - The most popular question tourist ask when being picked up from the airport by a LOCAL is: Do you live here?

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No, I'm just visiting as well. Couldn't you tell by my wool suit?

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Originally Posted by randem

2 - One day while leaving the airport to venture to the other side of the island, we are traveling in a clockwise direction (it is an island) and the lady asks: Does the water stay on the left?

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Only during the day...at night it shifts over to the right. I think it has something to do with lunar gravity.

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Originally Posted by randem

3 - Again coming from the airport going to the other side of the island, a woman asks "So you still can't drive to Honolulu?".

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Well, it might get a little damp, but what the heck maam, give it a shot.

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Originally Posted by randem

4 - Yet again coming from the airport (maybe it's the jet lag...) a lady asks: "Does the water go all the way around the island?"

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Actually, no. It only goes half way around the island, but, that is offset by the fact that the half it does not go around is also surrounded by water. It is truly one of natures wonders and, as far as I know, it only happens in Hawaii.

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Originally Posted by randem

5 - Upon seeing a neighboring island from the coast of Maui, A lady (Yet again) asks: Is that Japan?

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Well, it wasn't yesterday, but I haven't seen todays paper yet.

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Originally Posted by Hack

Responses Hack would have givenNo, I'm just visiting as well. Couldn't you tell by my wool suit?

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That's a good idea. Somebody ought to start selling hawaiian shirts made of wool....in Minnesota.

A guy once asked me who I thought would win a fight between a black belt and a grizzly bear. The tone of the question suggested that he'd actually spent a lot of time thinking about the matter.

And yet he sought the opinion of someone who clearly had not given it enough thought. Interestingly, the skill of the bear as pertains to unarmed combat appears to have been neglected in this instance, although it has potential to affect the outcome. Perhaps it was (naively) assumed that a grizzly bear was by default adequately equipped to withstand, at least, a cursory assault from a trained human opponent.

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Originally Posted by wossname

And yet he sought the opinion of someone who clearly had not given it enough thought. Interestingly, the skill of the bear as pertains to unarmed combat appears to have been neglected in this instance, although it has potential to affect the outcome. Perhaps it was (naively) assumed that a grizzly bear was by default adequately equipped to withstand, at least, a cursory assault from a trained human opponent.

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I don't actually think that this would be all that a naive assumption. If you've ever seen a grizzly bear, you'd notice that the average one is more than adequately equipped to deal with a human opponent, regardless of how well trained that human may be.

The best effect of a well placed roundhouse kick would be to have the grizzly bear pay cursory notice to the fact that there's someone kicking it. Actually, this wouldn't be the best effect, because it would result in far more claw-gouging and eating-of-intestines than the average black belt would likely enjoy.

It's really not much of a question as to who'd win.

It seems obvious, but it's not obvious. A black-belt vs a grizzly implies speed and agility versus brute force.

The black belt may be able to land a few crucial blows to the body of the grizzly bear as it attempts to swing its paws wildly, hoping for the impact to render the opponent crippled. However, the black belt may be able to avoid this blows and if he instead manages to render the grizzly bear crippled instead, can easily win.

This means that the black belt can win only if he or she has spent time thinking about such a fight, as he or she would then will have researched the vulnerabilities of a grizzly bear.

You can shoot a grizzly bear in the face and you'll just piss it off. How is somebody going to cripple one using their bare hands and feet, regardless of how much training they've had or how much they've researched it?

Also, tune into the National Geographic channel for a bit and you'll see that the human isn't the one with the speed advantage here. As to the agility, the only advantage that dodging would give you is that eventually, the bear might get bored and go take a nap - it wouldn't allow you time to exploit some arbitrary weakness. I suppose that you could continue to kick it while it's napping, but that would just wake it up and have the cycle start all over again.

I supposed that if there were a freak lightning storm and a large tree got knocked down and hit the bear in the head, the black belt could claim victory, but other than that, I don't really see a way he could win.

Any well placed bullet can seriously disable the bear, opening the opponent to a "FINISH HIM" moment. However, assuming that there are no guns involved, I believe humans do have the speed advantage and I'll add another thing to the list - intelligence. Our cerebral cortex is more developed than a bear's and so this allows a human to think faster and in more complex ways. Now a guy with a black belt and a certain level of intelligence can target, as fast as possible of course, the throat and hind legs of the bear. By hitting these areas hard enough, the bear will be, for a few moments at least, unable to react in which time he can perform whatever finishing moves he may have.

While it's true that bears are fast, they cannot be constantly fast; they will need to rest in between their attacks. They have more white muscles in their forelegs which allows for 'strong' activities, but not rapid/constant. Humans have a good mix of white and red muscles which gives them the advantage.

Well, being that a grisly bear has NINE INCH NAILS and weight a few hundred pounds, A glancing blow is enough to kill a black belt in anything. The only way a unarmed human has ever killed a bear was with a pointed stick wedged into a rock or something else relatively unmovable and the bear simply fell on it... Not exactly a fight...

Incorrect, A bear is very much quicker than a human. They can out run, out climb and if you ever have seen a bear in action, it's reflexes leaves the human immeasurably slow...

Alright, I'll prove it.

Here's an actual fight between a bear and a human.

And a bear with a black belt, what then?

Punch a bear in the face and see what happens.

mendhak,

Yeah... Impressively Funny but obviously not true...

DigiRev,

I'd like to see you get close enough for that... I would even pay to see it! :p

If a cougar can't beat a bear, you think a unarmed human can?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-ByFv5pGdA

Grizzly bears can't climb trees, only black bears can. However, humans do have one critical advantage over grizzlies which if put to best use can win the fight: Opposable thumbs. Without those, holding a gun is difficult at best.

Untrue: Some Grisly's have been know to climb trees. It just makes it a little more difficult with their long claws.

Here are the bear facts (pun intended): http://usparks.about.com/cs/natlpark...a/beartips.htm

It does seem like a smaller griz could climb a tree, but while black bears are excellent climbers, griz are not known for it. This is the reason that some bear aware types of publications state that climbing a tree to get away from a bear will work for one and not the other. I have some funny stories about bears and trees, but they aren't mine, so I'll leave them out. Bears (and most other large animals, except for, most notably, moose) seem to depart the area rapidly when they see me coming. In the case of bears, I would rather see their posterior, so that is quite acceptable. In the case of moose, I have looked a bit longer and deeper into the nostrils of the beast than I feel is quite becoming of a dignified person.

The only thing that keeps most adult grisly's out of trees is their weight...

That's good enough for me.

Don't know if this has already been posted but an old joke goes...

What's the difference between a Black Bear and a Grizzly Bear?


Answer: A Black Bear will climb up a tree to kill you while a Grizzly will knock down the tree to kill you.

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Originally Posted by MartinLiss

Don't know if this has already been posted but an old joke goes...

What's the difference between a Black Bear and a Grizzly Bear?


Answer: A Black Bear will climb up a tree to kill you while a Grizzly will knock down the tree to kill you.

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Racist jokes have never been your forte. :mad:

get back in your cell, fatty!

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Originally Posted by crptcblade

Racist jokes have never been your forte. :mad:

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:lol:

I am saddened to see that the Grizzly vs Black Belt debate has arrived at vbforums.

I am getting rather fed up with this endless discussion. Seeing as this has been discussed and explored at length, never reaching a conclusion. Sometimes the debate appears to move towards a conclusion, a consensus. But inevitably an individual will arrive out of nowhere, an individual with a perfectly prepared retort that returns the debate from an upward spiraling to it's circular nature. It will seem as if this person has devoted his/her entire life to forming that retort.

This is how it always goes, now that this debate has started here, it will not stop until vbforums.com is destroyed. No forum has ever survived a Grizzly vs Black Belt debate. All attempts to stop it have been in vain. I propose that we now set fire to vbforums in the hope that the debate will burn with it, or else it will continue to spread.

And I think I speak for all of us when I say I want to prevent that.

It's not an endless discussion. It has a definite end.

"Who would win a fight between a Black Belt and a Grizzly Bear?"
"The bear."

That's it. The discussion ends. How much more is there to say?

Anyone who thinks the human can win, I suggest you have a unarmed fight with one then let me know how it turned out... ;)

I seriously think I will not get any replies... :p

I've warned you all.

Chuck Norris would beat a grizzly like a red headed stepchild.

This thread should be closed...

It's too far off course...


I asked about a Stupid Questions list not a list of Stupid People...:mad:

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Originally Posted by grilkip

But inevitably an individual will arrive out of nowhere, an individual with a perfectly prepared retort that returns the debate from an upward spiraling to it's circular nature. It will seem as if this person has devoted his/her entire life to forming that retort.

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I assume that you are that individual.

He wishes he was that individual. Yearns for it. Dreams of that special day. But inevitably, his attempts will fall short of the mark.

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In the case of bears, I would rather see their posterior, so that is quite acceptable.

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:eek: Just what kind of a wierdo pervert are you? :eek:

I didn't really expect that comment to get through without a reply.

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Originally Posted by wild_bill

Chuck Norris would beat a grizzly like a red headed stepchild.

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Well, duh. Obviously we're not talking about Chuck Norris but just regular black belts. It's a fundamental law of physics that Chuck Norris necessarily wins any fight he gets into, regardless of who or what the opponent is. The question pertains to bears fighting mere mortals who lack the awesomeness gene.

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Originally Posted by Shaggy Hiker

I assume that you are that individual.

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No, I merely observe.

Looking back it is never really clear who this individual is, it is something that keeps happening over and over again. Perhaps right now Tom Sawyer is the 'one', or perhaps Timeshifter is preparing a size 7 FAIL as I write this.

I urge you to burn this place while the rest of the world is still free of this disease.

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Originally Posted by randem

This thread should be closed...

It's too far off course...


I asked about a Stupid Questions list not a list of Stupid People...:mad:

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Done.