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I hate people who think farting openly is funny and bad ass. how do you deal with people who make you breathe their ass. Is putting them in their place the only way to stop them? Cause they just don't listen they think you find it funny as well and you just pretending to complain.
Smash a beer bottle over their heads. They learn after a few times.
Works with pets too.
Alternatively, find some friends who didn't just graduate from kindergarten.
I am one of those people who fart openly. I don't necessarily think its funny or bad ass. I just really don't care if people hate it. I'm also not going to subject myself to the enormous pain that is felt when holding gas in.
Kill them. Its the only way they'll learn.
Enormous pain? are you sure it's not some sort of rectal problem? Get yourself checkedQuote:
Originally Posted by Arrow_Raider
I'm with Arrow Raider. The cramps you get are unbearable. Better out than in, I say. Mind you, I at least have the decency to lift a thigh so as to keep it as quiet as possible. Also, if you keep a healthy diet they tend not to be quite so maloderous.:afrog:Quote:
Enormous pain? are you sure it's not some sort of rectal disease
I carry a fresh corpse around me in case I can't fart at JUST the right moment, if you run with a cadaver then it will make all kinds of awesome noises.
Why can't they hold it. if you just hold it for a bit it goes away for a while or even walk outside the room or something then fart i mean how many times does a healthy person need to fart. its not like theyre going to be walking in and out of the room all day.
people who fart next to other people are inconsiderate morons. they should ask them selesv how they would feel if someone made them breathe his sh** in a hot room full of computers
I rip em whenever.. wherever... then... I light up a smokeQuote:
Originally Posted by MoE70
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoE70
You work in too tame an environment. When the fish are really rotting, a little extra gas is pretty much not noticed. On the other hand, I mailed some of my socks to my office while I was hiking two years ago. My tech didn't read that I was both the sender and the recipient, and assumed that the very well sealed box was a bunch of fish heads (don't ask), so he opened the box. He said he almost hurled.
So keep this in mind, you who complains about a little farting: My hiking socks can smell so bad that they turn the stomache of a person who willingly opens boxes of rotten fish heads.
Whenever they fart, shout, "HARK! An angel hath spoken!"Quote:
Originally Posted by MoE70
Nah you just inhale too much of it.
Hold a lit match by their rectal outlet for the next time they attempt a flatulent emission.
But all farts are not smelly.So ,why the discrimination?
My farts smell like flowers!
Pour petrol on the guy and then light a match.Quote:
Originally Posted by mendhak
I should say that whenever I fartQuote:
Originally Posted by mendhak
Girls don't fart, but if we did....I'd get up and go to the toilet to do it. If I'm at home I just lift a leg and let rip, but at work I spare my co-workers. We have an open-plan office and it just isn't polite.
It depends on various factors like curvature of the curves.
:afrog:
Quote:
Originally Posted by disruptivehair
Bull-plop! I had a friend, and she used to give off more harmful gas than all the cars put together in the world! And she was open about it!
I never felt my nose in more pain than when I was with her :sick:
You do know I was being sarcastic, right? I fart sometimes, and sometimes it SMELLS BAD. Oh my god! You ought to smell my sister-in-law's farts...she has Crohn's Disease. Smells like a rendering plant.Quote:
Originally Posted by kregg
Screw being polite! I'll burp at you, fart near you, and then yell profane words at you when you express distaste in my actions.
We should all fart in a bottle and send them to MoE70's office so she can share all our glorious bottom burp odurs.
(I am just scoffing a packet of dried apricots to aid production, just like I do when I know the management are in the office the next day.)
5 cans of stella on a sunday night (on an ampty stomach) is a sure-fire way to have a ready supply of methane the next day. Guffs strong enough to curl floorboards.
How do you deal with people who fart openly ? - from a distance - preferably with a mobile phone.
I hate the voice of the toothless one
Why does the toothless one's breath smell even though he doesnt have any teeth
Deal with farters by blowing smoke in their faces.
Each one is just as rude.
Farting is natural though. Smoking is notQuote:
Originally Posted by moeur
A young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling like expensive perfume. She turns to an old woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"
Another young, beautiful woman gets onto the elevator and also smells of very expensive perfume. She arrogantly turns to the old woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 dollars an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both of the women in the eyes, turns around, bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"
:afrog:
I haven't laughed so hard since I blinked ten seconds ago.
just to be the geek, a healthy person should fart 13 to 14 times a day.Quote:
Originally Posted by MoE70
goes unnoticed alot even by that person, also happens in your sleep without noticing ;)
I only fart if other people arent around
I only fart when other people are around. :afrog:
wow being a lonely loser you must be ready to explode :afrog:
I'm not such a lonely loser... I'm constanly farting when I post on VBF. That's why I can post such amazing posts here!!! :afrog:Quote:
Originally Posted by BodwadUK
What about chicks who wear too much perfume? There's one standing near me right now and it's making my eyes water.
Make her sweat :p
I don't swing that way, sorry. :bigyello:Quote:
Originally Posted by BodwadUK
Wow thats the best chat up line I have ever used, you spoke to me :p
I was walking down a road a few years back when a car passed with the windows open. Even though the car was traveling at around 35 mph, the load of perfume that hit me in transit, almost choked me. There was a guy riding in the car, with a woman driver. Considering how much redisual perfume was being emitted by that car, the guy probably had no sense of smell, and the car was probably about as safe to be in as the inside of a gasoline bomb.
I was running down a road a few years back when a car passed with the windows open. Even though the car was traveling at around 25 mph, the people in the car were able to yell many obscenities at me as it drove by. There were guys riding in the car, with a guy driver. Considering how lame the people were in the car, the people probably had no sense of respect, and the car was probably about as safe to be in as the inside of a gasoline bomb.
Yeah, I've encountered those people. Nice doppler shift as they pass by, but other than that, only their departure is welcome.