The Web's Worst Website

I have officially registered www.thewebsworstwebsite.com, and I have a feeling I might need some help in making it live up to that name. I found a pretty good list earlier today of things not to do with a website, so naturally they'll be the first things I do. If anyone else has any good ideas, please tell me. I'll keep a running list in this post.

1. Make it load extremely slow
2. Force me to "enter"
3. Play background music automatically
4. Control my browser for me
5. Pop-ups
6. Complex/confusing layout
7. Neon colors
8. Make the user scroll to get past the header
9. Use lots of pointless Photoshop effects in every image
10. Show off advertisements
11. Use blinking text
12. Use tables
13. Use as many random, preferably eye-burning colors as possible
14. Use animated gif's. More of them.
15. Microscopic text
16. Multiple fonts, especially Comic Sans
17. Make the user scroll sideways
18. Make it work in only one browser
19. Abandon all known grammar rules
20. Don't use any text formatting
21. Be unnecessarily verbose
22. Show no professionalism at all
23. Don't pay attention to visitors
24. Make navigation needlessly frustrating
25. Bore the user
26. Never update the website
27. Make the background glitter... a lot
28. Mouse-over flash ads that consume much of the screen
29. Marquee of mendhak's finest literature
30. Use width and height to thumbnail obscenely large images

27. Use the Comic Sans font.

Added to #16.

28. Use one of those sparkly animated backgrounds.
29. Have one of those mouseover flash popups; this usually takes the form of a hyperlink, when the user moves their mouse over it, a DIV is made visible with a flash advert inside it.

Updated.

29. Have lots of broken links.
30. Include lots of excuses and dates when you'll have the broken links fixed. ALL LIES OF COURSE.

Pop up random survey requests

Sometimes, highlighting some text on a page or clicking on a page results in a popup to poker sites.

I'm afraid you've already failed, the URL is too good, you should have a random hyphen in there, something like www.webs-worstwebsite.com

I like the idea though! :)

Make sure that pressing the "Back" button simply reloads your page because you've put a 0 second redirect in there.... and how about a banner proclaiming that you are the "1,000,000th Visitor - You have won a spambot, yours to download now!"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SurfDemon

I'm afraid you've already failed, the URL is too good, you should have a random hyphen in there, something like www.webs-worstwebsite.com

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But see, I'm going for a higher class of awful. The page will look horrific, but the HTML behind it is going to be beautiful, and fully standards complaint. It's going to be one huge site of irony.

Someone may have already mentioned this (I didn't read your list) but I have the perfect suggestion: After 10 seconds on the website use JavaScript to have balloons go over the site, flash Happy Birthday on the screen and use some sort of annoying audio in the background.

Oh oh I know. If the user is using IE, display messages telling the user to switch to firefox like a fanatic fanboy.
Oh wait.... ;)

Use a bunch of frames so all you see are scroll bars everywhere :D

Use flash/java script and no noscript tags

Promote the site everywhere but don't actually host the domain :cool:

Have a marquee of mendhak's god awful puns

What if I made a self-referencing frame? Infinite load time :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by crptcblade

Have a marquee of mendhak's god awful puns

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Why you little div... you wouldn't blink twice if they were your violent diatribes!

Open a dozen or more websites for those of dubious morales in other browser
windows which hide from the user, or hide the original browser window.

Use a variety of add-ins which require installation, make sure that the add-
ins are difficult to find, awkward to install, and cost the earth while adding no
benefit to the site.

So you basically want to make an exact replica of early 90's web design where everyone had an Angelfire page, and most knew just enough HTML to make the sites look awful.

So to that I add, use Frames! Lots of Frames! And make sure the user must scroll each frame to see the entire contents of the page.

You need a bunch of flashing "under construction" animated gifs permanently placed throughout the page and never removed.

Require user to install "flashy" software so they can view parts of your website.
Never be satisfied with the version they have.

Make a website with hardly any info
Except a long 'information' flash movie

www.partyloo.nl

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JPicasso

Require user to install "flashy" software so they can view parts of your website.
Never be satisfied with the version they have.

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Don't stop at one. Use Flash / Silverlight and every other tech that you can think of.

:wave:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Atheist

Oh oh I know. If the user is using IE, display messages telling the user to switch to firefox like a fanatic fanboy.
Oh wait.... ;)

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and if he is using firefox tell him to switch to IE :eek:

No tell all to switch to Crome. Then to Opra, then IE10 then FireFox5

Better still, claim that their browser is too new and current to view the site properly, then send them some place where they can get Firefox 1.0 and IE 5.

-tg

Or still further lets send for Netscape 1.0

I'm afraid no website can ever incorporate all of these bad ideas. You will need to choose.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by techgnome

Better still, claim that their browser is too new and current to view the site properly, then send them some place where they can get Firefox 1.0 and IE 5.

-tg

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I like this one.... pure genius :thumb:

I was considering making the site work only in Netscape... but I don't have a clue how I'd even build it... I'm not sure I'm capable of writing code that bad...

A page of red and green to confuse the colour blind users.

LOTS of links, half of which are broken, the other half of which are rickrolls.

Lots of links to cool sounding pages that take you to a page with an "Under Construction" gif on it.

Oh, make sure to have lots of "thumbnail" images.... but leave them in their original 1600x1200 size, and just use the height and width properties of the img tag to reduce them.

-tg

GoDaddy got the hosting set up, so no more parked page for me. The site is live!

so far so .... horrible... but the colors don't clash enough....

-tg

put a meta refresh tag on everypage and set it to 2 seconds

Oh, and add a button on your "enter" splash page that says "Click Here To Enter", but upon mouse over, it changes text to say "Click Here to Install Virus". Still bring them to your site though, which at that point, they will just wish they had gotten a virus instead. ;)

Looks to Christmass like in Red and Green