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Just stumbled across this site.
Linking hereQuote:
Customer: “Are you Hispanic?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Middle Eastern?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Egyptian?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “What are you?”
Me: “Chinese.”
(customer puts on offended face)
Customer: “I don’t appreciate you treating me like I’m dumb.”
Me: “Excuse me? I’m being honest.”
Customer: “NO CHINESE PERSON WOULD EVER HAVE EYES AS BIG AS YOURS!!!”
Me: *mouth wide open*
I agree with customer
Brilliant site. :thumb: ;)
Quote:
Customer: “Does this camera come in different colors? I really want blue.”
Me: “Yes, but I’m sorry… I don’t have any blue ones. I only have black, red, and bronze.”
Customer: “Blue takes better pictures.”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Customer: “Yes, my brother takes pictures and says the blue ones are best.”
Me: “Well, to be honest, the color only affects how it looks. It has nothing to do with the performance.”
Customer: “Are you calling my brother a liar?!”
Me: “No, I’m just saying he’s misinformed–”
Customer: “I SAID he’s a photographer and he knows what he’s talking about. He’s been published.”
Me: “I’m sure he has, but I’ve done hundreds of weddings myself and I’ve been selling for years.”
Customer: “Stop it! I want to see the manager.”
(I get my manager and explain the situation.)
Manager: “So, I understand you want a blue camera because it’s supposed to be faster?”
Customer: “Yes, I thought you guys would know that!”
Manager: “You know, I think your brother was mistaken.”
Customer: “But–”
Manager: “Let me explain. You see, sports cars come in all colors, right? You ever notice that they always seem to sell the red ones most? Porsches, Lamborghinis and Corvettes?”
Customer: “Well, yeah…”
Manager: “So, I think it’s an obvious choice.”
Customer: “I’ll take the red one!”
Me: “…”
Should beQuote:
(I get my manager and explain the situation.)
Quote:
** I step away from the situation to breathe... and get the manager
So solly! Cohstohmeh ahways light!
:rofl:Quote:
Originally Posted by JPicasso
Never. :mad: If someone gives me a hard time, they can expect to get it... NINE THOOUUSSSAAANNNDDDD TIMES worse. :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by kregg
the customer is never right
Indeed...Quote:
Originally Posted by Rob
Oh wait... that might be why I was fired as an Admissions Clerk... :eek:
But you have to tell them they are right
I used to work at BT filtering incoming calls on the business sales line. I once had the following call:
Customer: I'd like to make a complaint please
Me: Certainly. Tell me the problem and I'll find someone who can deal with it for you.
Customer: I was reading the Mirror yesterday...
Me (with an impending sense of doom): Yes.
Customer: There was an article about how BT have made loads of money from those adverts with Bob Hoskins in...
Me: Yes.
Customer: Well I hate Bob Hoskins.
Me::confused:
:rofl:Quote:
Originally Posted by FunkyDexter
Kregg, I think there may be an example on there of you not being right:-
(I’m tending to the cats at our pet store when a young woman comes up and points at a small tabby, Velma.)
Me: “Ah, would you like to see Velma? She’s a little shy but very sweet.”
Customer: “I can has cat?”
Me: “Um… if you are interested in adopting, I’ll be happy to get out Velma or any of the cats so that you can get to know them a little better.”
Customer: “I can has lolcat?”
Me: “…”
Customer: “She is in her playpen, stealin our funs!”
Me: “You know, pets can be a big responsibility, and I’m not sure a cat would be the best thing for you right now.”
Customer: “K thanks bye!” *turns and walks out of the store*
Me, to Velma: “I think I may have just saved your life.”
:lol: Classic!
Good thing too, as I really hate cats. Probably would've ate Velma for dinner if I had managed to get her.Quote:
Originally Posted by FunkyDexter
Finally, you can insult me, you can insult my hometown (VBF CC), but you cannot insult the LOLspeak!!! It's "kthxbai"... :mad:
My favorite
Quote:
Customer: “Look! My friend told me I could get this type of hammer at your store! Now go get it for me!”
Cashier: “Sir, I already told you… we don’t have ANY hammers back here that aren’t already stocked on the shelves.”
Customer: “LOOK HERE. F**K YOU! I KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO SAVE MONEY BY SWITCHING OUT YOUR STOCKS! GET ME THIS HAMMER!”
(At this point, I come to the front of the store, overhearing what’s going on; note that I’m the manager.)
Me: “Is there a problem?”
Customer: “Yes sir! Your employee here is not doing what I tell her to!”
Me: “Well, you need to calm down and understand that we don’t have what you’re looking for. So maybe you should go back to shelves and check–”
Customer: “F**K THAT!!! IT’S NOT THERE, OKAY?! YOU NEED TO F**KING GET ME WHAT I ASK FOR!”
Me: “That’s it. Get out of my store.”
Customer: “What? NO!”
Me: “Sir, get out, or I have to take you out.”
Customer: “Then do it!”
(I go around the counter and approach the customer. I yank him by his collar & drag him to the door.)
Me: “Now, then… you wanna apologize and maybe come back in?”
Customer: “No! I just want my hammer! God, what is this madness?!”
Me: *puts the customer down*
Customer: *confused* “… What is it?”
(I turn back to the cashier, who nods in approval. I then turn back to face the customer.)
Me: “Madness? THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAA!” *kicks customer out of store and slams door*
If only that was recorded in video.
i run shifts at a restaurant, Taco Bell. If we make a mistake with your order, we will replace it for free. Our only catch: We request you either bring back the food or the receipt. Today, a woman called, who's had "mistakes" made on her orders dozens of times (we have long memories), and says "my husband came by today inside your store and bought two box meals and ordered them with no sour cream, and they had extra sour cream all over them. (two items in each box have sour on them- The crunch wrap and the beef supreme burrito). And conveniently, she tossed the receipt already. I checked with the food maker and the guy taking orders and they all said the same thing. Not a single person all day long ordered more than one box meal.
So i told her over the phone "are you sure he visited this taco bell? Our computer system shows we have not had any orders all day long with two box meals on them" (our system can't actually do this, although the one at the last place i worked could). Instead of saying "yes he did" or something to that effect, she said "oh ok bye" and hung up.
Another example: A guy comes through drive through: i was in here a few days ago, and i had a... um... Grand Meal! And it was all wrong.
"what was wrong with it"?
"um... ... ... i orded it with no tomatoes" (it doesnt come with tomatoes)
"sir we can't replace food in drive through"
"oh ok" and leaves.
Now i ask you- Was she lying?
Before anyone asks why i work there: The person directly above me in management made about 80 grand last year. Assistants make 24k minimum plus bonuses, with two raises a year. I am making 65 cents an hour more than i was this time last year.
Keep in mind, that having had dozens of prior replacements, she's been told every single time "keep your receipt".
As if customers would listen. :rolleyes: No wonder I don't work with the public anymore. If South Africa were to implement population control, I would be the first in line... :evil grin:Quote:
Originally Posted by Lord Orwell
You would be first in line, to perform PC or have it performed?*Quote:
Originally Posted by BillGeek
How brave.:rolleyes:
* Whether deporting, getting the snip, or being permanently retired, whichever was chosen
To perform. :afrog:
Which method?
It's not really a customer as such but rather a sub-contractor we once had...
Subby on the phone: My modem doesn't work, I can't send you my work.
Me: Ok, you're nearby so why don't you bring it into the office and we'll see if we can fix it.
Subby: Right you are.
*time passes*
Me (called her back): Uhh, are you bringing it into the office or what?
Subby: Yeah I brought it into the dining room, that's about as close to an office that I've got here at home.
Me: *short pause while I gasp for breath while laughing*
Subby:Are you there?
Me: Yeah sorry. Well, it didn't seem to fix the problem so why don't you, uhh, bring it back to the company building where I can personally look at it for you. *note I had recently been repremanded for being insulting, sarcastic and terse towards the subcontractors, so I was on best behaviour*
Subby:Fine, oh wait is that what you mean first time?
Me: No, I figured that you'd have trouble with electrostatic interference from your microwave.
Subby:Gosh.
Me:Indeed. Goodbye. *slam*
*time passes*
Subby: *upon arrival* Hi, here's my computer.
Me:Can you connect it up the same way that you did at home?
Subby:Sure... ... there, just like that.
Me: Plugging a 9 pin serial cable upside-down into a 25pin printer port is the problem *must...remain...polite!*
Subby:Ahh, how stupid of me, sorry. *Pulls cable out, turns it 180 degrees and crams it back in to the printer port again.
Me: I'll be back in a moment...
I received a written warning for what I did next, which was to get one of those "put the coloured brick in the right-shaped-hole toys" from the waiting-room toybox and said "Practice with this for an hour a day".
http://www.tishtashtoys.com/images/P...mall/JC183.jpg
Subby:...
:lol: :lol: :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by wossy
:lol::lol::lol::lol:
:zomgroflcopter: :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by capsulecorpjx
My fiancee who works at a coffee shop. They serve coffee and milkshake type products. No food of any kind aside from an occasional cookie:
Customer: *walks up* Hi, do you got white mochas?
Fiancee: Yes we do!
Customer: Are they really sweet?
Fiancee: Yes they are!
Customer: *looks around for a second* Nevermind I want chicken... *walks out*
Fiancee: ???
also there are the people who think it's hilarious (and somehow now illegal) to play hideous pranks on employees. We recieve crank calls constantly on 3rd shift. Then there's the whole "fire in the hole" gag which we haven't been victim to yet but you never know...
FitH is cruel.
there is one youtube video of it i thought was hilarious, thanks to the backfiring on the perpetrator.Quote:
Originally Posted by mendhak
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeyL2fmNyI0
:lol: :lol: :bigyello: :bigyello:
Brilliant site!
Thanks for sharing.
Going to upload some nice quots aswel soon, as I work as customer service.
Quote:
Customer: “Can you tell me if this pair of pants is discounted?”
(I scan the pants.)
Me: “I’m sorry, but these are full price.”
Customer: “But that sign says, ’40% Off Jackets and Vests’!” *looks at me expectantly*
Me: “Yes, I can see that.”
Customer: “Then these pants must be 40% off!”
Me: “Ma’am, it’s 40% off jackets and vests.”
Customer: “So?”
Me: “Pants aren’t jackets nor vests.”
Customer: “Really?!” *walks away, perplexed*
It's funny when people complain about stupid things. This is somewhat irrelevant, but imagine McDonald's going to court because some kids meal didn't come with a toy.
They all come with a toy: Here kids, see how high your blood sugar/blood pressure can go!!
i just had a coworker fired. She greeted a customer hello in japanese and it offended them. Now don't get me wrong. They have dozens of reasons to fire this girl, but why did they have to pick a bogus one like this?
And even more puzzling, why would someone be offended by that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lord Orwell
This world is so messed up.
New planet please...
I'm guessing the customer was Chinese...
the rumor mill is they were in fact chinese, but still...
You kinda need to know a bit of history to understand why a Chinese person could be so offended at being called Japanese. The Japanese perpetrated some pretty bad atrocities against China at the beginning of World War 2 up to and including rape and the massacre of entire cities. They didn't include ethnic cleansing but, realistically, only because China is too big. In particular, check out the Rape of Nanking which is probably the most famous occurence. Now bear mind that this happened within living memory and the offence starts to become understandable. It's entirely possible that the customer in question was a victim of these atrocities or is intimately related to someone who was.
Calling a Chinese person Japanese isn't akin to mistaking, for example, a Canadian for a US citizen. It's closer to calling a Jew a Nazi.
Don't get me wrong. Your Co-Worker made an understandable mistake and probably shouldn't have been fired for it. They were just trying to be freindly. But I can also fully understand why the customer could have been offended. Really the failure is with your managers who failed to mediate the incident properly.
dont get me wrong. she deserved to be fired for other reasons. Among other things she acted like she was everyone's boss, even though she had no seniority at all.