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Hey im back, ive just made a new friend... the administrator at the new internet cafe being opened in a month :D now i get free access if i want :D
behemoth, i will add a little comment into my signiture to show you made the graphic (not the animation)
how are all people who are still left here?
its nearly 5pm!!! YEA!! but im gonna stay little longer to chat to you guys (and gals) :d ...much
im off home and i might pop on later to have a chat,
take care...
Dont worry she will be fine, all mothers will worry, its natural, when i went in for my operation my mum was more worried than i was!Quote:
Originally posted by barrk
I just hate the idea of her having to go through an operation.
Any way i hope she gets better soon.
Cya then!
Evening all!
Thanks Simon! Good evening Parksie!
Evening parksie!
Euuurrggghhhh....evening everyone!
*have frozen fingers so can't type*
HOw's the weather treating everyone?
us british and the weather *tut tut* :rolleyes:
yep cold here to, the sky was clear blue and wind chills of bout -2c my guess OUCH!!!
It's lovely here....outside............inside it's cold...no heat due to energy conservation crap!
Sorry to hear you're frozen!
myself personally id tell em where to stick it :D i couldnt go with out electric... accutally i could, no power for pcs.... no work.... *chenko has an idea* i know i rarely do hehe:D
They let us have our computers...they just feel that heating the building is a waste of electricity....after all we're just people...the computers are much more important!
Hi Parksie!
Your weather sounds just like ours. I just got back in from outside, and my hands are so cold, my engagement ring could fall off.
:D
Work? What's that? :rolleyes:
Seems everyone, everywhere is cold :eek:Quote:
Originally posted by smh
Hi Parksie!
Your weather sounds just like ours. I just got back in from outside, and my hands are so cold, my engagement ring could fall off.
Anyone NOT cold???
well its somit where you.... oh no i forgot:rolleyes::D
I'm a very warm person....it's just the location that's cold!
ME!!! not really just made me happy for a secondQuote:
Originally posted by parksie
Anyone NOT cold???
OK, well I've not contributed to this thread, but I thought, "Nows the time".
So peeps, the "Zeenon-what's is name" guy has spoken.
but will he speak again?
Welcome!!!!!!!!!!!
What new in your world? other than playing Clockwerx?
Clockwerx cool!! i went to help find it but i started playing it... and didnt stop, hehe!
I don't think he'll talk again...it's probably scarred him for life just reading this thread ;)
You're probably right.....we are a scary bunch aren't we?
Have you eva thought it cud be ur cheesey smile parksie ;)
BTW hi again!
Well....between your SOH and my avatar I think we've got "scary" covered completely! :D
SOH???Quote:
Originally posted by parksie
Well....between your SOH and my avatar I think we've got "scary" covered completely! :D
SOH???????
Pardon my ignorance! Evening Parksie!
SOH == Sense Of Humour, as in GSOH.
...gotta go peope, cya round
take care nhave fun
Simon
I guess maybe you need to have one before you can understand what SOH is....
Night!
Have a great weekend!
Everybody on this board has a SOH.... but... I'm not so sure about other people..... they stare at me strangely when I try to tell a good tasteless joke...
You won't have that problem here....we love a good tasteless joke!
It's a shame.....
<<< tries to feel sorry for dennis ;)
Here is one of those good tasteless jokes I was talking about...
Quote:
A father and son are fishing in a boat and the
father reaches over to a cooler and pulls out a
beer and starts drinking it. The son says, "Dad,
can I have one?" And the father says, "Well, can
your dick reach around your leg and touch your
*******?" The son says, "Umm, no." So later on
the father reaches over and pulls out a cigarette
and starts smoking it. The son says, "Dad, can I
have one of those?" the father replies, "Can your
dick reach around your leg and touch your
*******?" The son says, "No." The father says,
"Well too bad."
Later on they're driving down the road and they
stop at a gas station. The father goes in and
buys one hundred lotto tickets and gives his son
one. The father scratches off all ninety-nine of
them and he's a loser! His son scratches off his
and he won ten million dollars! The father says,
"Ok son, give me the ticket." the son replies,
"Well, can your dick reach around your leg and
touch your *******?" The father says, "Yeah!"
The son says, "Then Go **** Yourself! This Money
Is Mine!!!"
Yep..that's tasteless alright!
Hey Parksie............isn't it past your bedtime????????
What do you have going on this weekend?
Quote:
How do you know when you've met the man of your
dreams?
You trip over his willy in the pub!
It's friday...my bedtime is at about 2AM :D
I don't have much planned for this weekend...haircut is about the most important thing I need to do :rolleyes:
How do you know you've met the man of your dreams?
He can lick his eyebrows.
good good.... BTW im not going yet... just had a fone call so i got a little longer...
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip. But there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More Stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
Totally frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hit the liquor and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the door bell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree fat man?"
And that my friend, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.
i think this might have been posted but here it is any way
Don't get too many hairs cut Parksie....it will detract from your cheesy smile!
I'm going to see Elton John/Billy Joel on Sunday. Can't wait!
Q: Why do men like women with big tits and tight
pussies?
A: Most men have big mouths and little dicks!
Funny funny stuff! Not true but very funny!
The Parksie anti-unsubtlety device has been activated and will detonate in approximately 5 minutes.
Watch out for cheesy schrapnel..........Parksie's going to blow!!!!!!!!!!
Who?
;)
didnt he tell you ;)Quote:
Originally posted by denniswrenn
Who?
;)
<<<new avitari!!!
Geesh!!!!!!!!!! I usually watch out for setting things up like that. It must be close to going home time or something...
Sorry Parksie...I led him into it!
Hehehehehehe :)
DETONATION IMMINENT!!!
im innocent... :D
Quote:
After cocktails in the Oak Room, the graying millionaire took the blond,
attractive, wholesome, winning young woman up to his suite. They chatted
for a while, and then kissed on the couch. A little fondling, some feeling
and petting ... to which the young lady lent herself shyly ... and then they
were in the wide, cool bed, naked together. They chatted more, established
a communion, a rapport the older man considered remarkably gratifying. The
girl seemed sympatico, innocent, good.
"Yes, that was it," he thought, "essentially good. Why, she could
be my own daughter." He smiled into the young girl's deep blue eyes.
"Tell me," he asked, his hand on her breast, "What's a nice girl
like you doing in a hotel like this?"
"Oh, about $2000 a week, with tips."
Quote:
Never try to keep up with the Joneses; they might be newlyweds.
Quote:
If God had meant for us to have group sex, he'd have given us more organs.
-- Malcolm Bradbury
Quote:
He's learned about 50% of the rules of sex and conversation;
he knows how to stick it in, but not how to stick it out.
Quote:
Roses on your piano isn't nearly as good as tulips on your organ.
Quote:
After repeatedly warding off her date's amorous advances during the evening,
the pretty young thing decided to put her foot down: "See here," she shouted
indignantly. "This is positively the last time I'm going to tell you `no'."
"Splendid!" exclaimed her date. "Now we can start making some progress."
Quote:
A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.
Quote:
Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.
Quote:
A man is as old as the woman he feels.
-- Groucho Marx
Quote:
The reason people sweat is so they won't catch fire when making love.
-- Don Rose
Quote:
Having lost his potency years before, the octogenarian was desperate to
satisfy his new 18-year-old wife. He visited a gypsy woman with magical
powers.
After the man downed a foul-tasting potion, the gypsy said, "There.
Now the words beep-beep will give you an enormous erection. Repeating
the phrase will make it disappear. But remember," she cautioned, "it will
work only three times. Make use of them wisely."
As the old man left, he decided to test her prediction. "Beep-beep,"
he said, and sure enough, he got the biggest erection of his life.
"Beep-beep", he repeated. It went away.
He sped through traffic on his way home. "Beep-beep," honked a taxi.
The old man gasped as he instantly got hard.
"Beep-beep," honked a truck. His erection wilted.
Pulling into his driveway at last, the frantic man rushed inside
and found his nubile wife lying on the bed reading a novel.
"Have I got a surprise for you," he said, tearing off his clothes.
"Beep-beep!"
"Hold on a second," his wife said, eyeing his magnificent erection.
"What's all this beep-beep ****?"
Quote:
A hard man is good to find.
Quote:
Like I said, love wouldn't be so blind if the braille weren't so damned great!
-- Armistead Maupin
Quote:
A lively case was in progress in the District Court at Lick Skillet. Judge
Flannery was presiding, and on the witness stand was Tush Bumpass.
"From where ah was standin'", drawled Tush, "Ah could see he'd
backed 'er up agin' thet there wall, and ef Ah ever sawed a screwin' match,
thet one wuz!"
"Mr. Bumpass," the Judge interrupted, "I'd prefer that you not use
the word 'screw' in the courtroom. Say 'intercourse' instead."
Tush looked puzzled. "Intercourse? Whut's thet, Judge?"
His Honor sighed. "It's a technicality of language that you're
probably not aware of. Never mind. Please continue."
"Well, like ah said, he had 'er shoved up agin' thet wall, an' he
was... uh... intercoursin' 'er, an' he give 'er the crossjostle, the Chicago
Stroke, an she let out with a holler thet..."
"One moment," interrupted the Bench. "What is this, ah, Chicago
Stroke, Mr. Bumpass?"
"Well, thet's a technicality of screwin', Judge, thet you're probably
not aware of!"
Quote:
But we've only fondled the surface of that subject.
-- Virginia Masters, of Master & Johnson
Quote:
Mickey Mouse has a long talk one day with a psychiatrist, after which
the psychiatrist interviews Minnie Mouse. A few days later Mickey meets
with the psychiatrist, and the following conversation ensues:
Sigmund : I talked with Minnie after talking with you.
Mickey : Oh?
Sigmund : I couldn't find anything wrong with her -- she isn't insane.
Mickey : Idiot! I didn't say she was insane -- I said she was
****in' Goofy.
Quote:
If thine eye offends thee, pluck it out.
If thy dick offends thee, whack it off.
Quote:
The trouble with incest is that it gets you involved with relatives.
-- George S. Kaufman
Quote:
The most unfair thing about STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) is
that the guys who bought vasectomies have to wear condoms anyway.
Quote:
A man is driving down the road on his way to Salerno. By the roadside he
sees a man hitchhiking and stops to pick him up. As the man gets into his
car he suddenly pulls out a gun and makes the driver get out of the car.
"All right, buddy," says the man, "I want to you jerk off."
"What!?" says the man, disbelievingly.
"Go ahead, do it!" says the hitchhiker.
So the driver masturbates, and when he is through, says, "All right,
I did what you wanted, can I go now?"
"Nope," says the hijacker. "Do it again."
"Again?" the driver exclaims. "I just did it."
"Do it again."
It takes a little longer this time, but he manages to come again.
Panting, he turns to his tormenter and again asks if he can leave.
"Yes," the man replies, "but only after you've done it one more
time."
The guy is really scared now; he's starting to sweat. It takes him
twenty minutes, this time, but he finally comes a third time.
"Listen, buddy, can I please leave now?"
"Yeah," says the man, lowering his gun. "And this is my daughter;
I want you to drive her into Salerno."
Quote:
A man was traveling cross-country one summer from New York to LA.
He arrived in Needles, CA late one night and pulled into an Exxon for some
gas. When he pulled up to the gas pumps, he noticed that all of the lights
were off. Suddenly, he heard a faint sound from outside. He wasn't sure
what he'd heard, so he rolled down his window and heard a faint cry,
"Help... help... help". He got out of his car, and sure enough there was
a guy stooped down in the corner, stark naked with his wrists tied to his
ankles. He walked up to the guy and said, "Hey, man, what happened to you?"
"These guys pulled me out of my car, took my money, my wallet, my
clothes, tied my wrists to my ankles, and then stole my car!!"
"Damn!", replied the first man as he unzipped his pants. "This just
hasn't been your day, has it?"
Quote:
Vegetarians for oral sex -- "The only meat that's fit to eat"
Quote:
It's not the ups and downs of love, it's the ins and outs.
Quote:
Once upon a time there were three coeds -- a big coed, a medium-sized coed,
and a little, tiny coed. One night they came home from a dance, and the big
coed said, "Someone's been sleeping in my bed!"
The medium-sized coed looked in her room and said, "Someone's been
sleeping in my bed!"
And the little, tiny coed said, "Well, nighty-night, girls!"
Quote:
The young stud walked into a bordello. After he took his clothes off, the
woman was puzzled to see him put a clothespin on his nose, stuff cotton in
his ears, and put a prophylactic on his *****.
"Hey," she asked, "what the hell are you doing?"
"Well, ma'am", replied the stud, "there are two things I just can't
stand. A screaming woman and the smell of burning rubber."
Quote:
Musing on her present and past professions as "dominant/sadomasichism
fantasy fulfiller" and dental hygienist, Sybil said, "I couldn't really
understand why I wanted to be a dental hygienist, but years later, after
being in the SM world a long time, I figured it out: I'm in uniform,
they're not. I'm standing up, they're lying down. I'm doing painful
things to them for their own good. This is so ME."
-- The Daily Cal, September 29, 1992 In an article titled:
"Kinky sex remains alive and whipping despite threat
of AIDS, book reveals"
Quote:
A performing octopus could play the piano, the zither and a piccolo, and his
trainer wanted him to add the bagpipe to his accomplishments. With this in
mind, a bagpipe was placed in the octopus's room, and the trainer awaited
results. Hours passed, but no bagpipe music was heard. Since the talented
octopus usually learned quickly, the trainer was disturbed. Opening the door
the next morning, he asked the octopus,
"Have you learned to play that thing yet?"
"Play it!" retorted the octopus. "I've been trying to lay it all
night!"
Quote:
I'm against group sex because I wouldn't know where to put my elbows.
-- Martin Cruz Smith
Simon...you're going to be the first to get hit..........We (Dennis and I) live much farther away than you!!!!!
ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH *chenko dives to the ground to late*.....................................................................
That was quite the explosion Parksie.................keep it cumming!
I've got to be going now, see y'all later.
Hehehe, that's really sick Katie....Quote:
Originally posted by barrk
That was quite the explosion Parksie.................keep it cumming!
everybody in here is so wonderful ;)
Have a great time at the dance. Be sure to charm Amanda! I'll talk to you Monday!
cya Dennis have a nice weekend
them dots are quite annoying...shall i sort it???