Don't usually work on Fridays, do you Invisible... ;)
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Don't usually work on Fridays, do you Invisible... ;)
hmmm i'm not working Fridays either! :) lol
I usually pretend to. ;)
On Fridays I normally roll out of bed at 8:00. Having the alarm go off at 5:30 came as a bit of a shock.
I'm usually out of bed at 820
hehehehehe
Lazy sod. ;)
i can prolly get their aboot 6. That's if i can get this monkey of my shoulder. fooking monkey.
td.
lolol
Uh-oh...
Normally I'd jump at the chance, but today would be a bad day to be evacuated...Quote:
PLEASE NOTE:
We have been advised by the police that Security Alerts are currently underway in the Liverpool Street, Broadgate and Canary Wharf areas of London.
Further information will be circulated as and when it becomes available.
Quote:
We have now been advised that the Security Alerts referred to earlier today have been terminated without incident. Business as usual.
20 years in Belfast. I come to London for solitute and cash and what to I get? Poached radishes.
Well you ask for Radishes, you get Radishes
I never asked for radishes, turnip.
hang on , this should be in golden chair...
Radishes, Turnips... whats the difference???
The radish (Rap***** sativus) was often used in the Dark ages as early wheels for carts.
This, heh, oddly enough is down to the turnip ( Brassica rapa ), and it's extortion racket on trees. Turnips used their rich green foilage to tempt young virile saplings into a lair. A little like a siren in fact. Heh.
Gaffer I bow down to your useless knowledge! :p
A nursing home in the Midlands has apologised to neighbours for a karaoke where people in their 80s and 90s sang.
Around 40 residents of the home in Burntwood took turns to sing war-time songs.
A neighbour complained about the noise. Managers at Hammerwich Hall say the pensioners may have got carried away.
The nursing home is run by Bupa. Operations manager Patricia Fox says: "We will continue to run events, but obviously do not wish to upset neighbours."
Relatives of the pensioners say they're upset the home has apologised.
One relative told the Wolverhampton Express & Star: "It was just a group of 90-somethings warbling.
"They were singing Vera Lynn songs. It it had been 2am I could understand the neighbour's grievance."
The karaoke was held during the day in the grounds of the nursing home.
A new fleet of buses in Merseyside is too big to go through the Mersey Tunnel.
Arriva North West spent £7 million on 70 single decker DAF buses, but they are too wide for the toll booths at the Liverpool to Birkenhead tunnel.
The mistake was only discovered when a driver first tried to complete the route.
He had to take his passengers on an eight-mile detour because of the one-and-a-half inch discrepancy.
Arriva told the Daily Express the bus had only been used because another had broken down. "We've plenty of buses narrow enough to get through," a spokesman said.
Passenger Dave Griffith of Heswall said: "The driver was very apologetic but we were very late."
Joyriders took a tank on an eight-mile drive after stealing it from an outdoor activity centre.
The 17.5-ton Abbot tank was driven into parked cars, through fences and over ploughed fields as it was followed by a police helicopter.
After four-and-half-hours, the thieves finally abandoned the vehicle in a field after smashing into a tree.
Motorist Jack Kemish says: "I met this giant tank coming towards me with the police in hot pursuit. It was really quite frightening."
The tank was stolen from Juniper Leisure at their site near Romsey, Hampshire, reports the Daily Record.
Two men are helping police with their inquiries.
A Pennsylvanian woman was allowed to open a bank account with a single forged $1 million note.
The bank clerk in Harrisburg did not raise any questions when Dorothy Livingston opened the account.
The largest denomination of note still being printed in the US is $100.
Ms Livingston allegedly later withdrew some of the money and transferred it to her husband's account. She has been charged with 16 counts of theft by deception.
The 24-year-old opened the account at the First National Bank of Newport on July 15, police say.
She is being held on $25,000 (about £17,000) bail.
The largest note ever printed in the US was a $100,000 note.
It existed for about three weeks in the 1930s, when it was used to transfer funds between Federal Reserve banks. It was never publicly circulated.
Women in South Africa are upset at civic leaders for naming their municipality after the female sexual organ.
Ingquza, means vagina in Xhosa and anus in Zulu, which are both tribal languages. The council says the new name is derived from a local hill.
The name change has also split the council of which runs the municipality now taking in the towns of Lusikisiki and Flagstaff.
Some local people say the name is immoral and the local Commissioner for Gender Equality, Beatrice Ngcobo, says: "It is "unpalatable and disgusting".
But Mluleki Fihlane, who is leading the group that backs the new name, says: "People should not look into the name in that particular (anatomical) meaning. There is history behind the mountain and its name. We cannot waste time fighting over a name," he said.
The Mayor, Veli Ntsubane, says the council had adopted an alternative name. An adjudicator will now decide whether the municipality should keep that name or be called Ingquza.
Mayor Ntsubane told the Daily News: "We cannot have a council that could be seen as sexist or derogatory of women."
A woman wearing only a skimpy dress and G-string says she's been banned from a Dutch nightclub for being too sexy.
Lia Verduijn, 43, was refused entry to the club in Bentfield because other women are jealous of her figure, says her husband Cees.
Ad ter Schuur, owner of club De Manege, says Lia would even have been refused entrance to a sex club in her outfit.
Cees Verduijn is threatening legal action over discrimination.
One for Ian.... :)
Lia and Cees, from Sassenheim, went to the club at the weekend but were refused entrance.
"She only wore a tight dress, nothing special," Cees told De Telegraaf newspaper.
"Her dresses are usually very short, but she always wear a string."
He says because his wife is very beautiful, "with long legs and big breasts", other women have became jealous.
Club owner Ad ter Schuur denied jealousy was the reason behind the ban but confirmed the incident:
"Only decent people are visiting the club," he said. "We want everybody to feel good. There is no place for a woman who is dancing on the counter in a dress that is at least two sizes too small and who doesn't wear a slip."
Bloody Hell!
Alright, you win the useless facts contest. :rolleyes:
Brief hello from me, as I said earlier client is in today, so work ,work,work. today :(. Catch you all later :)
I am useless fact god! :) Bow to me!
A politician claims Thai teenagers use sex with their girlfriends as stakes in video game competitions.
They place bets of sexual favours with their partners during competitions between themselves claims a senior senator.
A recent study found about 100,000 Thais in the age group of 14 to 16 have unrestrained sex and the figure is likely to increase.
Thai Senator Wallop Tangkananurak was speaking at a seminar in Bangkok on the moral crisis among the nation's youth.
It is also suggested many students engage in prostitution not because of poverty but to satisfy their materialistic needs, reports The Straits Times.
A student reportedly told the senator sex with female students was easily available for between 500 and 5,000 baht (about £7 and £77).
Jam? I thought it was sausages!
Wallop? What a fantastic name!Quote:
Originally posted by chrismitchell
Thai Senator Wallop Tangkananurak was speaking at a seminar in Bangkok on the moral crisis among the nation's youth.
Bit of a variation between £7 and £77. The £7 women must be scary. :eek:
A Belgian firm has begun offering commuters IT training, from the back of a van.
Brussels-based Xylos says the idea is perfect for time-strapped office workers.
Clients are picked up from their homes and taught on the move. They are tested on what they learned that morning on the return trip.
According to the Gazet van Antwerpen newspaper, the firm has already won some contracts from big companies, including a national newspaper and a few banks.
Cabonara!
Policemen in Thailand will be issued with plastic boxes to protect their testicles.
It comes after a senior officer had his testicles squeezed very hard by a female protestor.
The officer is recovering in hospital.
All officers will be given the boxes to wear in a riot or mob situation. They will act as protection to officers' groins much like a cricketers box.
The Minister of Interior, Police Captain Purachai Piamsomboon, gave the police force instructions to order the boxes, reports The Thai Rath newspaper.
Recently groups of women protestors have resorted to grabbing officers' testicles in an attempt to intimidate the police and break through blockades.
Police Major General Damrongsak Nilkuha was among officers trying to calm an angry mob of sacked textile workers as they protested outside Prime Minister Thaksin's house.
He said a woman appeared from the crowd, grabbed his testicles and squeezed hard. He suffered "extreme pain" in his privates.
But Maj Gen Damrongsak says he won't press charges if the woman is caught.
"The woman has enough upset in her life because she has just lost her job. I don't want to make things worse for her," he told the paper.
A website dedicated to urinals, has placed a female urinal among its top five toilets from around the world.
The ladies facility comes complete with funnel and can be found at Dairy Queen, in Port Charlotte, Florida.
Urinal Net also contains a gallery, message board, shop and US urinal map.
One of its founders, Joe U Rinator, of San Francisco, says he and his friends were inspired after coming across many different urinals while touring Europe.
The website (www.urinal.net) claims to be "the best place to p*** away your time on the internet".
The facilities at Kowloon Sheraton Hotel and Towers in Hong Kong are considered to be the best in the world.
They are followed by the Public Rest Rooms of Rothesay on the Isle of Bute, which have been visited by Prince Charles.
Other top sites include those at the Millennium Dome.
The long outdoor urinal, which is set up once a year for the New York Marathon, claims fifth spot.
Bakers in northern Italy are claiming a new world record for the longest pizza ever made at 413 feet.
Cooks in Brescia made it during a charity event.
They have beaten the previous record of 92 yards belonging to the bakers of Agerola, a village near Naples.
The pizza was over ten feet wide.
The Brescia tomato, cheese and mushroom pizza has been divided and sold in nearly 2,000 portions to raise money for a multiple sclerosis charity, Il Nuovo website reports.
The Guinness World Records lists the pizza with the largest diameter as 123 feet, baked in Norwood, South Africa, in 1990.
Police are investigating whether a Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? jackpot winner was helped by someone coughing.
Scotland Yard were called in after Army major Charles Ingram, 38, won £1million on the ITV quiz show.
Programme makers became suspicious after hearing somebody coughing from the audience as the Major was about to reply to a question.
ITV alerted police four days after Major Ingram's win, which has not yet been screened. The Royal Engineers officer's wife Diana, who herself won £32,000 on the show and has written a book about how to win, was in the audience.
The show's makers Celador Productions refused to comment, reports the Sun. But Scotland Yard confirmed its Special Inquiry Team is investigating the claims.
A Yard spokeswoman said: "We can confirm that the Special Inquiry Team are investigating."
Major Ingram of Devizes, Wilts, said: "I have no idea why they are investigating me. I don't know what there is to investigate." The dad-of-three floundered on several early questions, using his "phone-a-friend" and "ask-the-audience" lifelines as he struggled to reach the £4,000 mark.
But Major Ingram managed to get through to the final question, which was: "What is the name of a number that is a one followed by 100 zeros?" He correctly answered: "Googol."
Major Ingram has not yet been allowed to cash his £1 million cheque. Mrs Ingram's brother, 40-year-old computer consultant Adrian Pollock, also won £32,000 on the programme earlier this year.
Mrs Ingram said she knew nothing of the police investigation. "I'm afraid I don't know what you are talking about," she said.
ENOUGH!!! WE GIVE IN!!!
MWAHAHAHAHAHA NO-ONE SUSPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
What time are people getting to Cannons, then? And joking aside, how will I know who the feck you all are?
Dunno.. I will hopefully (British Rail and my last errand for today being quick) will be there for about 6:30... though my last errand today (at 5) is with my ex Girlfriend --- she wants me to meet and "have a chat" also I need to give her back her stuff that she has left at my flat... So if I am not there for any reason, then I will either be late or not at all depending on this "chat"...... ****ing Women!
Inv, the way my day is going, I will be there at 6ish. I'll PM you my mobile...
Many apologies if i'm not there.. I will be up if my ex is quick... I hope that it will be "Hello, here's your ****, goodbye!"
I'll be there 6ish - can't stay too long though. I'll be suited and looking unshaven.