Hi everyone :)
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Hi everyone :)
From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated
that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to
assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.
The best submissions:
SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a
wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening
bottles.
KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to
light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot
air part.
SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and
retain water.
WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue
hanging out.
COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm
up - because it is an effective reproductive device when the
right buttons are pushed - because it can wreak havoc when
the wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you
can always see right through them.
SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last
5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL -- female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But
consider: it gives man pleasure; he'd be lost without it, and
while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he
keeps trying.
He he he :D How r u today?
Ah, poor you, c'm 'ere ({)({)
Ah, poor you http://www.vbforums.com/attachment.php?postid=781458 I've got my chem exam today, i've gotta leave in about 1.5 hrs :(
Me me me?
Thanks :D Thatmeans a lot to me :) http://www.vbforums.com/attachment.php?postid=781458
urrgh, I'm pissed off because btopenworld are refusing to take my money and have suspended my damn account.
BT = teh f46375 :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
So anyone who is interested, you'll be seeing a lot less of me coz this one is costing by the minute.
Serves you right for using BT :p
ok well thats sucks chris...sorry dude...hope u can sort it out
*plans to send a singing elton john greeting card to bt head office*
piyari!! GOOD LUCK BABE!! (}) http://www.vbforums.com/attachment.php?postid=781458 but im sure u will pass with flying colours coz u rock!! :D
Quote:
Originally posted by Wally Pipp
/softly under breath
goddamnbleedingbloodysoddingbuggeryhellanddevil !!!!!!!
This is getting waaaaay too much for me.
But nevermind me, I'm useless and not worth the attention anyway ....
<whole list of profanities deleted>
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
ummmm...ok...whats wrong man??
Stoopid bastard telecom :mad:Quote:
Originally posted by chrisjk
urrgh, I'm pissed off because btopenworld are refusing to take my money and have suspended my damn account.
BT = teh f46375 :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
So anyone who is interested, you'll be seeing a lot less of me coz this one is costing by the minute.
AGARB!! :mad:
im gettin mad now...i dont even know why :confused:
time for some lucozade methinks...u want some nic??
yes please GR :)
Poor Wally Pipp :(
well hey i know what its like 2 have people who u think like/trust/respect u diss u behind ur back and then sit there and watch them do it when they dont know ur watchin...sucks like a ***** :(:mad::(Quote:
Originally posted by Wally Pipp
First they throw everything but the sink at me, now they complain about deadlines not being met. They do a piss poor job in planning and then blame me for not living up to expectations :(
Second, not only do I find out that my colleagues think I'm a crap slow programmer (intercepted an internal mail. Sent to the wrong person :rolleyes: ) but it looks like I'm going to be booted too. Budget cuts ...
On top of that domestic trouble but that can be sorted out.
So everyone is yelling at me, my performance and enthousiasm meter is far in the negative and I'm just fed up with all of it.
They can now kiss my hairy backside for all I care.
Other than that, everything is fine.
dont worry bout it man...just relax...whatever is gonna happen is gonna happen...dont stress bout it
thats a ***** man
sorry
:rolleyes: Not good Wally.
I'm in a similar situation, I just keep doing the mimimum required as I don't want to miss out on a redundancy cheque.
Looks like the natives are restless today......better tread softly.
Good morning to you (7:13am here) and here's a http://www.vbforums.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=345901 to cheer you up!
Sorry to hear that. Tomorrow will no doubt be better.
**** wally, I was just about to go home when I read your plight.
You know that you have to stay until you get the bullet, right? Leave before and you're stuffed. No cash.
Box of chocolates to the neigbours (unless they're diabeteic, then give them apples.....spiked with glucose MWAHAHAHAHA....)
*ahem
seriously, small gift to the neighbours, big gift to the missus. Soves half your problems....
u should be aight man....the amount of times ive felt like anal fluff in the past two months has been too many for my liking...but hey...FINALLY things are looking up...and hopefully things'll be aight for urself as well :)Quote:
Originally posted by Wally Pipp
Yup, it's going to take a big present this time ...
Already apologised to the neighbours, they understood (grudgingly but anyway).
Already rang her on her mobile but to no avail.
It's going to be a long, lonely wait :(
Damnit, ****ing **** that I am ! :(
Hi guys, feeling better wally?
I'm cool now because I gave BT an ear full and they reinstated the account :cool: :D
PIYARI!! (})(})(})
how did it go babe?? here is a kiss just for u http://www.vbforums.com/attachment.php?postid=781458 hope u can relax a little bit now :)
YEY [HUG]Chris[/HUG] :D I'm in a brill mood, I'm going olut now, :D up to Adam's house, so I probably won't be back 'til late ;) heh heh heh :D Have fun kiddies
*cough*Quote:
Originally posted by rinoaheartilly
YEY [HUG]Chris[/HUG] :D I'm in a brill mood, I'm going olut now, :D up to Adam's house, so I probably won't be back 'til late ;) heh heh heh :D Have fun kiddies
thanks ;)Quote:
Originally posted by rinoaheartilly
YEY [HUG]Chris[/HUG] :D
Woo hoo :) (}) that's great newsQuote:
Originally posted by chrisjk
I'm cool now because I gave BT an ear full and they reinstated the account :cool: :D
That'll teach 'em to mess with the King of Cool
i see my elton john singing greeting worked :DQuote:
Originally posted by chrisjk
I'm cool now because I gave BT an ear full and they reinstated the account :cool: :D
Help! I'm in imminent danger of having to work......I need some more motivation to procrastinate!!!!!!!:eek:
da G man is willin' t' 'elp yous procreate ;)
I all done procreating but if you want to practice they do say it makes perfect! ;)
aiii, I is alweys lookin' t' brorden me 'orisons ;)
boyakasha
boyakasha indeed!!!!!!!!!! I would think that with all your julies your horizons have already been broadened!
I is go' free bitches, Julie, Mary, Ethel, but i's culd do wiv more, aiii
evening to you all :)
Hi katie, how are you on this pleasent Thursday afternoo/evening ?
Trying to struggle through re-writing a sql job to run without cursors since our "new" server is sooooooo slowwwwww. Not having much success though.
How are you?
startign tp feel the strains of the week , was worked 8 till 6 tuesday, 8 till 7 yesterday and with two hours work of traveling each way on top of that I'm pretty shattered. and on top of all that, I'm probably going to have to up on saturday as well, but that can't be helped. On better news though, I bumped into an Old flame on the train home, always wondered where that lighter went ;)