...which, it has to be said, is quite an average feat in Cannons...Quote:
Originally posted by tumblingdown
I'll be the one looking tremendously cool, and pulling all the birds.
td.
8-?
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...which, it has to be said, is quite an average feat in Cannons...Quote:
Originally posted by tumblingdown
I'll be the one looking tremendously cool, and pulling all the birds.
td.
8-?
Not a great deal of practical help so far. :rolleyes:
At this rate I'll be the one who turns up, stands by himself for two minutes looking embarrassed, and then flees.
Seeing as your invisible, you can hang around and listen to the conversations for ages...
I don't know Cannons too well, I've only ever been there with Vbers! but it only has one bar so it shouldn't be too hard.
That IS where we are meeting, isn't it Gaff?
P.
as in he won't be at the pub, he'll be a trafalger sqaure, feeding the pigeons's :pQuote:
Originally posted by tumblingdown
I'll be the one looking tremendously cool, and pulling all the birds.
td.
I will be the one by the bar looking lost and hoping that someone recognises me!
No, no, no - that'll be me.
I assure you, that will be me!
OK Here we go - back to the top.
A little vignette of married life.
The scene: a terraced house in Outer London - an ordinary house. A family house.
Scene 1: Late Evening
[Enter Father, looking harrassed] "It's a shame, some of the boys on the forum are meeting up for a drink, but it's your birthday, so I can't make it"
[Mother, looking very tired] "Well, we can't really get a baby sitter at this stage... you could go if you want to..."
[Father looking hopeful now] "Oh, well I don't really want to miss your birthday... Maybe just a quick one"
[Mother and Father watch TV: Fade to black]
Scene 2: Next Morning
[Father happy now - looking forward to drink with boys] "Morning"
[Mother] "Morning, I've been thinking about my birthday"
[Father, Cautiously] "Oh? Yes..."
[Mother] "If you go in early, I can get the kids to bed and we could watch 'Billy Elliot' and you can bring back a Chinese"
[Father, deflatedly] "Oh yes, that would be lovely..."
[Exit Father left thoughtfully]
The END
And there you have it. I WILL make the next one though! <SIGH>
Cheers,
P.
:(
Actually, I'm sort of on your missus's side here. I'd be pretty pissed off if my wife decided to go out for a drink with the gals instead of ravishing me on my birthday. ;)
See you at the next one, then. :cool:
Quote:
Originally posted by InvisibleDuncan
:(
Actually, I'm sort of on your missus's side here...
Eh? Shut the **** up!
td.
I think that this will cheer some people up!
He said, She said:
10) He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear briefs, don't you?
9) She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.
8) He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said...Well, you succeeded.
7) He said... 'Two inches more, and I would be king'
She said...'Two inches less, and you'd be queen.'
6) On wall in ladies room: "My husband follows me everywhere." Written just below it: "I do not."
5) He said... "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
She said..."That's a good idea.... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
4) Priest said... 'I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.'
She said...'Who's gonna look?'
3) He said... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
2) He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the Hallway light on. and the number 1 "He said...She said"..
1) He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said...I would, but you're never there.
For all those who want descriptions, td will be the one punching himself in the knacks ;):D
A gallant effort Mr. Paul. You could try tunnelling out. I could make special pants for you, where you could store the soil and release it slowly as you walk across your livingnroom carpet.
Cheers
Roger
Invisible - you rat you - I only wanted a half <ahem>. Anyway my ravishing days are over - it's too dangerous - see the biog...
Cheers,
P.
Naw, your still ravishing paul...
...in a kind of girly way...
In which case there's no point in you staying in, is there? :confused:Quote:
Originally posted by paulw
Anyway my ravishing days are over
I was kind of assuming that your choices were between going for a drink with a bunch of people you don't know, or having an evening full of torrid celebratory birthday sex. If that's not it, then you should damn well come out for a couple o' drinks.
Yeah, stop being queer!
td.
Sorry to but in, but it appears to me that if you stay home you're going to have to watch Billy Elliott. Now, I'm no expert, but I'm led to believe this is a movie about a male balerina (Ballet guy).
Now, if she's gagging for a shagging after watching some ponce prance around the screen then you have a serious problem.
And if you're gagging for a shagging after watching some ponce prance around the screen then you have an even more serious problem.
So the way I see it, you ain't going to get lucky whether you stay in or you go out. So you may as well go out with the lads and at least enjoy youself.
... and of course I am completely unbiased and impartial on this matter :D
SD
as i said, stop being queer! :rolleyes:
td.
I'm not going to be around much tommorow as the client is in for the day. if there is any changes can someone email me personally at [email protected]
ta very much :)
err, is it 6:30 in Cannons?
td.
3 am in the royal infirmirary by the looks of things :p
Yeah, 630 Cannons. I'll be the one beating off the women with a big stick
I don't mind what you get up to in the comfort of your own home, but in a bar...?Quote:
Originally posted by Gaffer
beating off the women with a big stick
I can't help it, inv. All I got to do is show a bit of ass and I turn into a fannymagnet. :rolleyes:
Sorry - I thought you meant something else... :rolleyes:
Well, you're similar to me except with the opposite polarity; I tend to repel 'em. We might just cancel each other out.
adn I''ll be standing at the back with a bloody big net ;)
Can't wait.. things may be looking up.. I may have an interview in a Design house in Farnborough.. though it depends on the people because it is Print Media mainly and I have been in web media for the past year... hmmm oh well might get it.. or might get an interview in a company in Dorking for a few months.. or may be lucky with Gaffers mate :) So there are a few fires burning for me. :) Now just to be lucky! :)
He still hasn't got back yet Chris. I'll bell him tonight... :)
right, we all set for this evening. everyone remember to pack their beer gogle's. Gaf , can you book 6 bed's at the local hospital for about 11.30 ;)
lol
Here are some other funny things I just found...
Confucius Say...
1: Passionate kiss like spider's web. Soon lead to undoing of fly.
2: Virginity like bubble. One *****, all gone.
3: Man who run in front of car get tired.
4: Man who run behind car get exhausted.
5: Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
6: Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.
7: Man who walk thru airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
8: Man with one chop stick go hungry.
9: Man who scratches butt should not bite finger nails.
10: Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
11: Baseball is wrong... man with four balls cannot walk.
12: Panties not best thing on earth... but next to it.
13: War doesn't determine who is right. War determines who is left.
14: Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
15: Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
16: It take many nails to build crib... but one screw to fill it.
17: Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
18: Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
19: Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
20: Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
21: Man who farts in church sits in own pew.
22: Crowded elevator smells different to midget.
23: Difference between pick pocket and peeping tom is the pick pocket snatches watches.
24: Gay Indian is also a brave sucker.
25: Man and mouse are the same... both end up in *****.
26: Sex is like bridge game... don't need a partner if you have good hand.
Urg, the last thing I need this morning is a big smelly pint. :(
morning all....
ditto Gaffer mate.. :( I went out on a bender last night.. I feel a bit worse for wear!
Mmm, I'm tired. At least Iw asn't pissed last night - just...confused ;)
What time are you getting here chris?
BITE MY ARSE!
td.
oh, and good morning, btw.
td.
Dunno yet mate... I am going to have to do a few errands today but I will be on my way when they are finished -- I will probably be there for about 6:30 ish... Thats the right sort of time isn't it?
Morning TD
I was like that when I first discovered the [SIZE] tag :rolleyes: ;)Quote:
Originally posted by tumblingdown
BITE MY ARSE!
td.
Are we going for close encounters earlier tha 630 Mr Down?
Close Encounters?
I just heard on the Radio that the Talaban won't hand over Bin Laden, They said that they will ask him if he would like to leave.
I'm very, very tired. :(