You don't get out much do you. It's like Canada's 3rd City
Printable View
You don't get out much do you. It's like Canada's 3rd City
Anyone wonder where Nukem went...
Man finds severed ***** in bottled fruit drink
Mystery surrounds the discovery of a ***** inside a bottled fruit drink.
A Colorado shop worker found it after drinking two-thirds of a bottle of Ora Potency Fruit Punch.
Police do not know how the 3-inch segment got into the bottle and are not sure if it belongs to an adult or a child.
A pathologist has confirmed it is a *****.
Juan Sanchez-Marchez, 41, who works in Commercial City, says the seal was not broken when he bought the drink.
The plant where the drink was bottled also say there was no way the ***** could have got into the bottle there.
Elaine Rowe, a police spokeswoman, said: "For us it's a mystery. We don't know if there is a crime involved. This could be a fraud, mutilation or attempted homicide."
She described Mr Sanchez-Marchez as a credible witness, reports the Rocky Mountain News.
Ms Rowe added: "It's a mystery where it came from and how it got into this bottle."
LOL That's gotta hurt!
Teacher faces investigation after dressing boy as bin Laden
A teacher in El Salvador is facing a disciplinary hearing after organising a 'terrorism pageant' by her 11-year-old pupils.
During the parade pupils used toy weapons to re-enact the September 11 terror attacks on the US.
One student dressed as Osama bin Laden and another George W Bush. At the end of the parade, the bin Laden figure faced a mock firing squad.
According to the El Diario de Hoy newspaper, the education ministry is launching an investigation into why teacher Bernarda Henriquez thought terrorism was a suitable subject for a school role play.
The ministry is already describing the event as a serious error of judgement.
Carlos, the boy who played the fugitive Saudi dissident, says he had been chosen because he had "very dark curly hair". He says he hoped he wouldn't get into trouble for his part in the parade.
He claims before the parade he didn't know who bin Laden was, adding he missed all the coverage of the attacks because his family's TV is broken.
India moves to measure its average ***** size
India's health officials are announcing the launch of a project to map the size of the average *****.
The study is being ordered by the Health Ministry following increasing reports of condoms getting torn during use.
Scientists say condom size could be tailored to requirements if variations in ***** size in different regions become apparent.
N C Saxena, head of reproductive biology at the Indian Council of Medical Research, which is coordinating the project, says understanding the "length and width of the male organ in different parts of the country could help bring down the 15-20% failure rate of condoms because of breakage or spillage".
The project stems from growing concerns of the failure of India's population control programme. A recent survey put contraceptive usage at just 3%.
Scientists believe the study was originally meant to cover 16 centres across the country but lack of funds forced them to confine it to seven states. Each centre will identify 300 volunteers, mainly relatives of patients admitted there.
The report is expected by the end of next year.
"The collection of data will be a scientific process in which the length and width would be recorded in a digital camera at the time of full erection," R S Sharma, the scientist in charge of the project, told The Indian Express newspaper.
where do you find these things?
FHM??
Loaded??
Politically correct Three Little Pigs has a wolf who wants to make friends
A New Zealand theatre's politically-correct Three Little Pigs features a wolf that just wants to make friends.
Wellington's Kapitall Kids Theatre's version of the fairytale features a wolf that blows the pigs' houses down.
But instead of eating them, he wants to live with them in harmony.
Production manager David Austin says the message is that people with different backgrounds can get on well together.
Michelle Seaton, who took her child to see the play, told The Evening Post: "There was a real meaning about not hurting each other and getting along."
Nope, not telling :D
Investigation after porn film shot in library
A pornographic film was shot inside a Hungarian library with the apparent consent of library officials.
Media reports claim the library in Budapest gave permission for a local firm to rent a hall for the taking of "sensual photographs".
Authorities are also said to be examining claims that the top of an Hungarian army tank was used for similar purposes.
The library incident occured in 1995, but has only now come to light after the hardcore film appeared on an Hungarian internet porn site.
The Szabo Ervin Municipal Library in Budapest apparently made it clear it did not want the pictures to be used for publication in Hungary, reports local newspaper Magyar Hirlap.
Authorities are also investigating claims that a porn film was shot on top of a Hungarian military tank in 1997.
It is said similar incidents occured at the Festetics castle in 1996 and the Toldy Ferenc school in Budapest in 1999.
Strip poker contestants take off more than they should
Over excited contestants taking part in a new quiz at a New Zealand bar are taking off more than they should.
More than 200 people have crammed into New Plymouth's Beaten Path to see people playing Strip Poker.
The quiz has proved especially popular with women, two even going topless when they only had to strip to their underwear.
Pub owners say despite strict rules, they are having trouble getting contestants to keep their clothes on.
Michael Maloney, bar owner, told the New Zealand Truth: "The contestants aren't required to strip naked, they only have to go down to wearing a bra and knickers.
"But some have gone right through with it; some topless and a few have ended up in the nude."
The six-week quiz has proved so popular Beaten Path will run another one either later this year or in 2002.
:eek:Quote:
Toldy Ferenc school in Budapest in 1999.
Quote:
I'll strip poker you, sir!
Study indicates penises grow through adulthood
Doctors at a German university say penises may continue to grow during adulthood.
They measured 143 male sex organs for the study.
While older men had longer penises than the younger men studied, that reversed when they were aroused.
Research by the University of Essen showed men aged 18 to 19 had an average length of 8.6 cm. Older participants aged 40 to 60 measured an average of 9.2 cm.
Bild newspaper reports the younger men's average was 14.48 cm when erect, 0.3 cm ahead of the older group's average of 14.18 cm.
Italians 'dream of sex with colleagues'
Most Italians lighten their day at work by flirting and having erotic fantasies about colleagues, according to a new survey.
More than a fifth of those questioned said the flirty behaviour had ended in having sex with a colleague.
Seven out of 10 Italians indulge in flirtatious behaviour and sexual innuendo to get through the day, the survey of 1,000 men and women by the Italian Gestalt Psychotherapy Foundation showed.
They said flirting, innuendo, and even sexual relationships, with their colleagues is the perfect antidote to boring days at the office.
The two-and-a-half year survey found that 72% of workers indulge in some sort of regular flirtatious or amorous relationship in the workplace.
One in four said they tried to eroticise and lighten the atmosphere by making suggestive comments and jokes, and behaving in a seductive or flirtatious manner.
Some 21% of the interviewees admitted that their flirting ended in a sexual relationship with a work colleague lasting several years, while a tenth admitted to having a fling.
Maria Menditto, the director of the Foundation, told La Stampa newspaper that this behaviour can often result in a relaxing, supportive and confidence-inducing atmosphere in the workplace.
For more than 20% of those surveyed extracurricular work relationships provoked serious anxiety attacks and insomnia, and for 4% major depression.
Boy loses half of ***** when girls copy porn film moves
A teenager had part of his ***** bitten off when three girls asked him to help them practise moves they saw on a porn film.
Doctors couldn't reattach the top half of his *****. The 14-year-old is in a critical condition in a New Delhi hospital.
The three girls invited him to join them as they tried to copy oral sex scenes on the film.
According to the Amar Ujala newspaper, police have not yet started investigating the case. The girls are reported to have disappeared from their homes in Kapurthala city, Punjab state.
The boy was taken to a nearby hospital, which referred him to a hospital in New Delhi, around 150 miles away.
The girls' parents were at work while they were watching the video.
Fisherman admits killing divers with explosives
A Croatian man admitted accidentally killing German divers with landmines he was using for fishing.
Dragutin Jakovinovic pleaded guilty to causing the deaths of two divers in Vrulja bay on the Adriatic in August.
He told a court in Zadar, Croatia, he felt "horrible" and wished he had died instead of the divers.
"Yes, I feel guilty. I was illegally fishing with explosives close to the bridge that connects the island of Pag with the coast, but I did not realize the divers were so close," he said.
"Now, I feel horrible, like I would rather be dead instead of the German divers."
The divers, gynaecologist Wilhelm Albrecht Klopfer and his 25-year-old son Andreas Klopfer from Baden-Wuertemberg, were described as experienced divers.
They had been exploring an underwater cave they discovered the day before.
Two other suspects, nephew Klaudio Jakovinovic, 25, and Andjelko Ilic, 51, pleaded not guilty.
The sentencing of Jakovinovic has been adjourned until the end of their trial which continues.
Jealous wife rubbed pepper in suspected mistress' genitals
A woman in Malawi rubbed pepper into the genitals of her husband's suspected teenage mistress.
Constance Kamundi also used nail varnish to write the word 'prostitute' on the 15-year-old's body.
The court heard she dragged the girl to her house, locked her inside, then forced her to undress and assaulted her before driving her naked around the town.
Kamundi suspected the girl was having an affair with her husband, the African Eye News Service reports.
Magistrates in Mangochi sentenced her to two years of hard labour after finding her guilty of assault.
The robber of the One Stop Grocery in Kenai, Alaska, in July got away. The store was packed with people at 9 p.m. when the man suddenly appeared with his hand in his pocket pointing a "gun" at the clerk and shouted, "Everybody freeze, don't move. You know what that means." However, everyone ignored him. He snatched some beer from the cooler and shouted again, "You people don't understand. I really mean it." One customer told him he could get in trouble talking like that. Finally, the man cussed a bit, complained again that nobody was listening to him, and left with the beer.
lol :D
Did you know that Halloween was originally a celebration of autumn, but later changed to be a holiday devoted to the supernatural, to witches and to ghosts?
Did you know that the reason a wedding ring is worn on the third finger of the left hand is because people believed that there was an especially sensitive nerve or vein running from this finger directly to the heart?
Prisoners in a jail in Lima were instructed to make new uniforms for the guards as part of a cost-cutting drive. Most of the prisoners showed uncharacteristic enthusiasm for the task which was hardly surprising since 28 of them made uniforms for themselves and strolled out of the jail to freedom
Did you know that the skeleton of an average 160-pound body weighs about 29 pounds?
Isaac Newton's only recorded utterance while he was a Member of Parliament was a request to open the window
Chong Kim Lee, a Thai chef, was jailed for 15 years after being found guilty of trying to have sex with an elephant. He was found, naked from the waist down, standing on a box behind the animal. Chong claimed that the elephant was in fact the reincarnation of his wife who died 28 years earlier. He told the court, "I recognised her immediately because of the naughty glint in her eye."
Two robbers in Tyne and Wear scaled a 6 ft. fence and dodged two Alsatian guard dogs before stealing 40 homing pigeons. Within 24 hours all but eight of the pigeons had returned to their rightful owner
Did you know that there are more sheep than people in Wales?
Dick Whisson, a BT employee In Chatham, got stuck in a lift while putting up a notice warning passengers what they should do in the event of getting stuck in the lift
Did you know that tobacco was once considered to be a cure for headache, toothache, arthritis, stomach-aches, wounds and bad breath?
Yeehaw, Kathryn Barr is online. :)
That would be me!!!!!!!!!!:D
And how's katie this evening?
I'm not ready for the weekend to end yet!!!!!!!!!
Isn't that always the way?
Laws of Men.
Any Man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his fellow partygoers.
Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
It is ok for a man to cry under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save it's master
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When your Date is using her teeth
Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
The minimum amount of time you have to wait for a guy who's running late is 5 minutes. Maximum waiting time: 6 minutes. For a girl, you have to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 scale.
Bitching about the brand of free beer in a Mate's fridge is forbidden.
Gripe at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man (in fact, even remembering your Mate's birthday is strictly optional).
On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
While your girlfriend must bond with your Mates' girlfriends within 30 minutes of meeting them, you are not required to make nice with her gal pals' significant d*ck-heads--- low level sports bonding is all the law requires (sorry ladies, it's called a double standard and we drew the short straw on that one).
When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may always ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
It is permissible to quaff a fruity chick drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach....and it's delivered by a topless supermodel...and it's free.
Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem---you didn't see nothin'.
Women who claim the "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much beer as the other sports watchers.
You must offer heartfelt and public condolences over the death of a girlfriend's cat, even if it was you who secretly set it on fire and threw it into a ceiling fan.
A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both. That's just plain mean.
If you complement a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. Never join your girlfriend or wife in dissing a Mate of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
Phrases that may not be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
d. Nice Ass, are you a Sagittarius?
Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. Never allow a conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone; Hang up if necessary. The morning after you and a babe who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason not to nail her again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was.
LMFAO :D
Afternoon chris :)
afternoon Ian hows things?
alot better than last week :) had a blinding weekend of oblivion. (some of my antcis are in the over 18 thread ) . how about yourself, feeling alwight ?
not doing too bad mate... just working on the MMR site at the moment. I had a job interview this morning for a company in Farnham. They are very interested... It is for a Graphic Design company that work with Litho-graphics. The company is called A3 Design and Print. The website is : www.a3litho.com. They said that I may also get to re-design their website. Which is nice.
I am glad that you are feeling better as I know last week was a bit ****ty for you.
good to here that your work situation is looking better. last week was just alot of things happening all at once, but friday night souted all that out :D
Oops :pQuote:
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever, unless you actually marry her.
Evening!
´Hiya Odie!
I dislike trips to the dentist. :(
Oh dear :(
I keep good care of my teeth though :)
Yeah, all two of them. :)
Damn it, there's big bucks to be won!!! http://www.vbforums.com/showthread.php?threadid=107581
Research has shown that people are more likely to catch a cold when their mother-in-law comes to visit.
Right, well, good morning Britons (and that includes Northern Ireland). Good night people who live in the real world :D
Morning! What's Today's Fish? :p