Hi everyone :)
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Hi everyone :)
From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated
that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to
assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.
The best submissions:
SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a
wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening
bottles.
KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to
light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot
air part.
SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and
retain water.
WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue
hanging out.
COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm
up - because it is an effective reproductive device when the
right buttons are pushed - because it can wreak havoc when
the wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you
can always see right through them.
SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last
5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL -- female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But
consider: it gives man pleasure; he'd be lost without it, and
while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he
keeps trying.
He he he :D How r u today?
Ah, poor you, c'm 'ere ({)({)
Ah, poor you http://www.vbforums.com/attachment.php?postid=781458 I've got my chem exam today, i've gotta leave in about 1.5 hrs :(
Me me me?
Thanks :D Thatmeans a lot to me :) http://www.vbforums.com/attachment.php?postid=781458
urrgh, I'm pissed off because btopenworld are refusing to take my money and have suspended my damn account.
BT = teh f46375 :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
So anyone who is interested, you'll be seeing a lot less of me coz this one is costing by the minute.
Serves you right for using BT :p
ok well thats sucks chris...sorry dude...hope u can sort it out
*plans to send a singing elton john greeting card to bt head office*
piyari!! GOOD LUCK BABE!! (}) http://www.vbforums.com/attachment.php?postid=781458 but im sure u will pass with flying colours coz u rock!! :D
Quote:
Originally posted by Wally Pipp
/softly under breath
goddamnbleedingbloodysoddingbuggeryhellanddevil !!!!!!!
This is getting waaaaay too much for me.
But nevermind me, I'm useless and not worth the attention anyway ....
<whole list of profanities deleted>
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
ummmm...ok...whats wrong man??
Stoopid bastard telecom :mad:Quote:
Originally posted by chrisjk
urrgh, I'm pissed off because btopenworld are refusing to take my money and have suspended my damn account.
BT = teh f46375 :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:
So anyone who is interested, you'll be seeing a lot less of me coz this one is costing by the minute.
AGARB!! :mad:
im gettin mad now...i dont even know why :confused:
time for some lucozade methinks...u want some nic??
yes please GR :)
Poor Wally Pipp :(
well hey i know what its like 2 have people who u think like/trust/respect u diss u behind ur back and then sit there and watch them do it when they dont know ur watchin...sucks like a ***** :(:mad::(Quote:
Originally posted by Wally Pipp
First they throw everything but the sink at me, now they complain about deadlines not being met. They do a piss poor job in planning and then blame me for not living up to expectations :(
Second, not only do I find out that my colleagues think I'm a crap slow programmer (intercepted an internal mail. Sent to the wrong person :rolleyes: ) but it looks like I'm going to be booted too. Budget cuts ...
On top of that domestic trouble but that can be sorted out.
So everyone is yelling at me, my performance and enthousiasm meter is far in the negative and I'm just fed up with all of it.
They can now kiss my hairy backside for all I care.
Other than that, everything is fine.
dont worry bout it man...just relax...whatever is gonna happen is gonna happen...dont stress bout it
thats a ***** man
sorry
:rolleyes: Not good Wally.
I'm in a similar situation, I just keep doing the mimimum required as I don't want to miss out on a redundancy cheque.
Looks like the natives are restless today......better tread softly.
Good morning to you (7:13am here) and here's a http://www.vbforums.com/attachment.php?s=&postid=345901 to cheer you up!
Sorry to hear that. Tomorrow will no doubt be better.
**** wally, I was just about to go home when I read your plight.
You know that you have to stay until you get the bullet, right? Leave before and you're stuffed. No cash.
Box of chocolates to the neigbours (unless they're diabeteic, then give them apples.....spiked with glucose MWAHAHAHAHA....)
*ahem
seriously, small gift to the neighbours, big gift to the missus. Soves half your problems....
u should be aight man....the amount of times ive felt like anal fluff in the past two months has been too many for my liking...but hey...FINALLY things are looking up...and hopefully things'll be aight for urself as well :)Quote:
Originally posted by Wally Pipp
Yup, it's going to take a big present this time ...
Already apologised to the neighbours, they understood (grudgingly but anyway).
Already rang her on her mobile but to no avail.
It's going to be a long, lonely wait :(
Damnit, ****ing **** that I am ! :(
Hi guys, feeling better wally?
I'm cool now because I gave BT an ear full and they reinstated the account :cool: :D
PIYARI!! (})(})(})
how did it go babe?? here is a kiss just for u http://www.vbforums.com/attachment.php?postid=781458 hope u can relax a little bit now :)
YEY [HUG]Chris[/HUG] :D I'm in a brill mood, I'm going olut now, :D up to Adam's house, so I probably won't be back 'til late ;) heh heh heh :D Have fun kiddies
*cough*Quote:
Originally posted by rinoaheartilly
YEY [HUG]Chris[/HUG] :D I'm in a brill mood, I'm going olut now, :D up to Adam's house, so I probably won't be back 'til late ;) heh heh heh :D Have fun kiddies
thanks ;)Quote:
Originally posted by rinoaheartilly
YEY [HUG]Chris[/HUG] :D
Woo hoo :) (}) that's great newsQuote:
Originally posted by chrisjk
I'm cool now because I gave BT an ear full and they reinstated the account :cool: :D
That'll teach 'em to mess with the King of Cool
i see my elton john singing greeting worked :DQuote:
Originally posted by chrisjk
I'm cool now because I gave BT an ear full and they reinstated the account :cool: :D
Help! I'm in imminent danger of having to work......I need some more motivation to procrastinate!!!!!!!:eek:
da G man is willin' t' 'elp yous procreate ;)
I all done procreating but if you want to practice they do say it makes perfect! ;)
aiii, I is alweys lookin' t' brorden me 'orisons ;)
boyakasha
boyakasha indeed!!!!!!!!!! I would think that with all your julies your horizons have already been broadened!
I is go' free bitches, Julie, Mary, Ethel, but i's culd do wiv more, aiii
evening to you all :)
Hi katie, how are you on this pleasent Thursday afternoo/evening ?
Trying to struggle through re-writing a sql job to run without cursors since our "new" server is sooooooo slowwwwww. Not having much success though.
How are you?
startign tp feel the strains of the week , was worked 8 till 6 tuesday, 8 till 7 yesterday and with two hours work of traveling each way on top of that I'm pretty shattered. and on top of all that, I'm probably going to have to up on saturday as well, but that can't be helped. On better news though, I bumped into an Old flame on the train home, always wondered where that lighter went ;)
Aword fa da most mingin' gag of da day goz to me mate Ianpbaker, respeckQuote:
Originally posted by Ianpbaker
I bumped into an Old flame on the train home, always wondered where that lighter went ;)
So, did you get her number or a date?
Alig - I aim to please :p
Katie, unfortunatley it was only a brief chat as I was walking up the train, just about to get offa t my stop. but she said that she will be on next week and she'll try to find me to have a good chat and catch up on things :)
Wally- glad to hear it!
Ian.....sounds promising!:)
I know this sounds really bad, but I've been put down so many times to get over excited at the moment.... Oh well, what will be will be :)
It sounds like you're putting yourself down! Don't....you're lovely!:)
hey all...check out my freestyle (made up on the spot)...what do u think??
Quote:
aiyo fo real, i dont need a record deal, to make all you fake rap *******s look like bums who play with a bottle and make it hum, go chew some gum coz ya breath smell like ass crack, 'aiyo nigga why dat??', coz his face been up russels simmons 'yo dats wack'...i heard ya...dis be lyrical murda, break it down and serve ya, lyrically raping all u mutha****az out there in party land, the beats rubs u up from ya head to ya feet, then the lyrics invade your clothes, u foldin the fold in ya fabric, this **** is like magic, you has-been i **** shoot ya in white spleen, just like some **** off a movie screen, ya hear me, me and my dawg babyboy hold dis **** down, got it locked up tighter than clinton's daughter, dat ***** chelsea..'hell nah nigga she loose as ****' well hell dawg just gimme a buck and ima go propositon her pops, so i can **** his daughter, coz we all know clinton's have a weakness for sex offers. 'aiyo nigga u be killin it' yah but cashmoney made the millions and got da cars and ****...why dont i got dat **** 'nigga u real as ****, u dont need that stuff' yeah i hear but beware, coz people tend 2 stare, at this paki-nigga who be a thriller just like dat cat from manilla, i bust a cap in ya skrilla just fo tryin 2 block my dealer, from sellin me da weed that i need to proceed with my free...style, i be actin wild...**** u other ho's, wearin pretty clothes but u didnt know dat ya man be ****in about six other bitches on da side...girl its time u sliiiide, away, just like oasis on definitely maybe, but im not quite sure, what the **** i be the king of metaphors and lyrical terrorism is a skill full of vision, like the skill ya girl has when she be swallowin my jism
:eek: A bit provocative I must say! :eek:
me put myself down ? :rolleyes: first of all I'll say that I'm writting this with a smile on my face :) . for quite a long time now I've known that I have got a really bad confidence problem about myself when it comes to my personal life. When it comes to work and normal socialising then i'm fine. but when it comes to taking the socialising one step further my mind just seams to stop completley and my normal daily confidence just dissapears completley.
Every time this happens I Completley hate myself and think that what I'm doing is completley stupid but I just can't seem to stop doing it. It obviously never happens when I'm drunk but when I'm drunk I'm normally a completley different person as is the case with most people. The only time I have been lucky is when the girl has come over and theoretically grabbed me by the nads.
And another major factor has been that ever since I left school I pretty much devoted the majority of my time to getting my career sorted out. But now that is pretty much sorted now, I think it's time to move on and devote some more time to me. :)
oh well, that's me dead in a couple of minute's as I think I have just opened up my entire heart and I can't seem to fit the plug back in. any one got a cork screw ? ;)
I think most people are that way, Ian. Just remember that you have a lot to offer a girl (including my teddy).
well u didnt diss it so i shall take it as a compliment...spank u katie :)Quote:
Originally posted by barrk
:eek: A bit provocative I must say! :eek:
my two fave lines are:
Quote:
so i can **** his daughter, coz we all know clinton's have a weakness for sex offers.
:D:D:D i was quite impressed with it considerin it was all straight off tha domeQuote:
what the **** i be the king of metaphors and lyrical terrorism is a skill full of vision, like the skill ya girl has when she be swallowin my jism
ok everytime i post rap threads die
this time one person did comment...and that was katie :eek:
so ill post some music that YOU all will like
Quote:
I was slipping through the cracks of a stolen jewel
I was tightrope walking in two ton shoes
Now somebody is talking about a third world war
And the police said this was normal control
And the candle was burning yesterday
Like somebody's best friend died
And I've been caught in a mind riot
I was crying from my eye teeth
and bleeding from my soul
And I sharpened my wits on a dead man's skull
I built an elevator from his bones
Had to climb to the top floor just to stamp out the coals
And the candle was burning yesterday
Like somebody's best friend died
And I've been caught in a mind riot
I'm tied within
I'm luck's last match struck
In the pouring down wind
sorry ghost, I'm enjoying the delights of banzai :D
Katie - my problem is that I don't let anyone get close to me for some strange reason :confused: oh well tha's enough about me. :)
Buckaroo Bonzai???
nah nevermind ian, im used to it now
Quote:
aiyo fo real, i dont need a record deal, to make all you fake rap *******s look like bums who play with a bottle and make it hum, go chew some gum coz ya breath smell like ass crack, 'aiyo nigga why dat??', coz his face been up russels simmons 'yo dats wack'...i heard ya...dis be lyrical murda, break it down and serve ya, lyrically raping all u mutha****az out there in party land, the beats rubs u up from ya head to ya feet, then the lyrics invade your clothes, u foldin the fold in ya fabric, this **** is like magic, you has-been i **** shoot ya in white spleen, just like some **** off a movie screen, ya hear me, me and my dawg babyboy hold dis **** down, got it locked up tighter than clinton's daughter, dat ***** chelsea..'hell nah nigga she loose as ****' well hell dawg just gimme a buck and ima go propositon her pops, so i can **** his daughter, coz we all know clinton's have a weakness for sex offers. 'aiyo nigga u be killin it' yah but cashmoney made the millions and got da cars and ****...why dont i got dat **** 'nigga u real as ****, u dont need that stuff' yeah i hear but beware, coz people tend 2 stare, at this paki-nigga who be a thriller just like dat cat from manilla, i bust a cap in ya skrilla just fo tryin 2 block my dealer, from sellin me da weed that i need to proceed with my free...style, i be actin wild...**** u other ho's, wearin pretty clothes but u didnt know dat ya man be ****in about six other bitches on da side...girl its time u sliiiide, away, just like oasis on definitely maybe, but im not quite sure, what the **** i be the king of metaphors and lyrical terrorism is a skill full of vision, like the skill ya girl has when she be swallowin my jism
No, banzai. complete and utter trash but very funny. it's a "after pub chucking out time program" where you have a bunch of regular japaneese people setting bet's and you as the viewer with all your drunk, stoned whatever mates are ment to ebt between each other to guess the correct answer to the challange. The challenges are along the lines of Guess who is the Ice skating Micheal jackson. that was one of the cleaner challenges but they get pretty sick sometime's
Some of the best trash on television is funny......or some of the funniest stuff on television is trash........or something like that.
right time to call it a night so farewell untillwe next meet :p
Good night BabyCakes!!!!!