Todays' fish will be battering whinging Australians today...
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Todays' fish will be battering whinging Australians today...
Yeah, bloody Convicts :p
What happened to your Hammers at the weekend?
*Run away, Gooner Boy is here *
Southern fairy!
northern ******
:rolleyes: No fighting, you Whippet Breader and Loud Mouth Cockney!
:rolleyes: shut it and go wash your combine harvester, it's bloody filthy
/Kicks Gooner squarely in the nuts...Quote:
Originally posted by Ianpbaker
*Run away, Gooner Boy is here *
Morning. I'm taking no ***** today.
:(
what's up fella ?
I hope that this cheers everyone up. :)
Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating
every aspect of American life with the introduction of
Contraceptive 98, a suite of applications designed for users who
engage in sex.
Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and
plug and play. It believes these technologies will give it
substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement
market.
The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for
virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the
non-propagation of human beings.
The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom 98,
DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton
Utilities).
A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the
package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions.
Contraceptive 98 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for
professionals in the sexual services sector. Contraceptive98
Small Business Edition is a package for start-ups, aimed at the
housewife and gigolo niches.
While Contraceptive 98 does not address non-traditional
copulatory channels, future plug-ins are planned for next year.
They will be known as BackDoor, AuraLee, TitElation, and JerkOff.
OPERATION
Only one node in a peer-to-peer connection needs to install the
package. At installation, the Condom98 software checks for
minimum hardware. If the user meets the requirements, the product
installs and is sufficiently scaleable to meet most requirements.
After installation, operation commences. One caution is that the
user must have sufficient RAM to complete the session. When the
session is complete, a disconnect is initiated, and the user gets
the message, "It is now safe to turn off your partner."
DRAWBACKS
Usability testers report that frequent failures were a major
concern during beta testing. General Protection Fault was the
most serious error encountered. Early versions had numerous bugs,
but most of these have been eliminated. The product needs to be
installed each time its used.
CONCLUSION
Contraceptive 98 is a robust product. Despite its drawbacks, it
is a reasonably good value for its $49.95 price tag, and is far
superior to its shareware version. Hopefully, future releases (of
the software, that is) will add missing functionality, such as
Backout and Restore, Uninterruptible Power Supply, and Onboard
Camera.
Microsoft CEO Bill Gates is optimistic about Contraceptive 98s
potential. He recently said, "Our contraceptive products will
help users do to each other what we've been doing to our
customers for years."
Hello everyone btw
Afternoon :)
Good afternoon Pix :)
How goes it ?
Hey Ian! :)
How you doin?
I'm a bit tired, but apart from that I'm happy and smiley :)
I'm pretty good, recovering from an abolutley blinding weekend :)
The current project that I've been working on for the last 6 month's is finally comming to a close, so everything is peachy at the moment :D
Having fun at uni ?
Hee hee, sounds like you're having fun :)
Uni is great but I'm missing home a lot. Made lots of friends (some of them insist on calling me Harry Potter for some reason).
It was someone's b'day next door yesterday so I didn't get home until about 2:30. I'm lucky that I don't have a lecture until 4 - some people had to get up for 9 this morning! We had to go and have a laugh though - the lads decided to go to the union dressed in shirts, ties, shorts, long socks and shoes. Why they did it I don't know, but it was v.funny anyway :)
So you look like this then do you Pix?
http://movies.go.com/images/movies/h...stone_2001.jpg
(the one on the left)
bringing back some fond memories of when I was at uni. I was only there for two years as I was doing a HND, but still had an absolute ball :). I was down at brighton UNI and one year we went out an celebrated my 20th. we went out and got absolutley hammered and when the club chucked us out there was this big group of people carrying me over their heads along the seafront. then they decided to chuck me into a fountain. the only problem to all this was that my birthday is on Jan 2nd and the water was a tad cold :eek: soone sobered me up though :)
Well I'm glad that you are having fun pix :)
*yawn* Hello!
booyaka
already said hello to you, so i'm not going to again, too much typing is involved :rolleyes: :p ;)
Teapot!
But Ian, I was dripping wet and in a towel when we last spoke so it doesn't count!
now how many blokes get that said to them at 3.30 pm whilst sitting at work :D
I wish I was a towel :p
Only from Trevor, my Boss ;) (BTW Ian, get my PM??)
Hey Katie, Pix...
Pix, what uni are u at?
Hey Bonker....Teacup!!!!!!:D
I did reply to it. :confused:Quote:
Originally posted by Gaffer
(BTW Ian, get my PM??)
I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you say
You'll find that out anyway
Just like before...
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again
Just like before...
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to.......break
Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up when I'm talking to you
Shut up
Shut up
Shut up
Shuuuuuuut up
I'm about to break
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to..........break
:eek: :eek:Quote:
Originally posted by barrk
But Ian, I was dripping wet with nothing on when we last met so it doesn't count!
Sounds like fun :D
Beatles' guru to create yogic flier defence shield
The Beatles' guru is hoping to use transcendental meditation for world peace.
The Indian mystic says all he needs are some "American billionaires" to build his antidote to global terrorism.
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi is summoning 40,000 yogis in India, trained in meditation and yogic flying to create a spiritual force field.
Hong Kong store creates bin Laden action figure
A Hong Kong man has used bits of an old Barbie doll to create an Osama bin Laden action figure.
Echo Cheuk Sze-pun has also made a 30cm model of US Secretary of State Colin Powell.
The dolls are on display at a toy and model shop but are not for sale.
Mr Cheuk says the toys are aimed at attracting customers to the store.
:eek:
Woo! Woo! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gimme one! :D
The fighters were going over as I was coming home this afternoon.
Howdy, Parksie! How's the job? Tired of the nine to five yet?
Not yet, although it's a bit tedious when you code something up and it doesn't work because someone else's code that yours relies on and SHOULD £%^*£%^* WORK doesn't. :mad:
true true, or I wouldn't be still here :(
:(
Half of what I have to maintain was written by someone who was only learning C++ when they wrote it, and now there's an absolute ton of it that's hardly commented, virtually no formatting, and basically f**ks me off.
I have trouble working out my own code after 6 months, let alone someone else's
Evening all :)
yo pix...go back a page, i've discovered what you look like......;)
:eek: Sssshhhh Chris! They're not supposed to know ;)
Gaffer - I'm at Aberystwyth Uni
Didn't I read that zMerlinZ is going there?
I went once. Only once :rolleyes:
heheh
Acually, it looked quite nice really. I don't understand why you're not running around town with a pair of knickers on your head right now though... :confused:
We have to wait for the others who want to watch Eastenders first ;)
Yep Zmerlinz goes to the same place
oop, I'm not much up on the gossip round here much these days...
anyway, gotta go. See you later.. :)
Lots of screaming, flying plates, glasses
...thank god that's finished
Hello everybody...
Hey there you little devil! How goes it?
I'm not doing too bad.. though I'm a bit confused about something that happened today..... I've been trying to figure out what it was about for hours..... :confused:
Do tell.......
I'll send you a PM...
Though for everybody else, here's the gist of it:
Today somebody made a joke, though I'm not sure if that person was just joking or was trying to be an ass. The reason I wonder is it's a person that may or may not be a little pissed at me(I'm not quite sure)...
He might be a devil, but I'm a bad mutha punkQuote:
Originally posted by barrk
Hey there you little devil! How goes it?
That goes without saying, Chris. Anyone who has lambchops with a mohawk as an avatar is cool beyond words!!!
*put's on shades*
oh yeeeeeah baby
P.S...his name's Shaun, not lambchops!
A lamb by any other name is just as cool..........or something like that!
Good night
Good night, Kedaman.
I get to leave at three o'clock today!!! I have to take Erin to the optometrist. She had to *:eek: heaven forbid:eek: * wear her glasses to school today because her contacts were bothering her too much. To her this is a tragedy of epic porpotions....to me it's an excuse to get off work early!:D
I need new contacts(They're a month old and I'm not supposed to wear the disposables longer than that).... I need another appointment though because I've only had them for about a month, and the optometrist needs to make sure they're right for me...... I hate going to the optometrist :(