[SERIOUS] I Kid You Not!!!

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Originally Posted by CyberSurfer

I dunno what it is, but I can't help but have the sneaky suspicion that JR is making every single bit of this up. I mean, who tells people on the internet that their girlfriend turns lesbian and dumps them? Hardly a resounding acclamation of one's manhood. Coupled with that, who then also seriously expects us to beleive that they have magically converted said ex back????? I smell an attention seeking teenager!!

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I'm telling you people, that this is true. She and her gf broke up, she moved back to Cocoa Beach, now works at Sterling Casino, got my cell phone number through my best friend Jackie, called me, and it went off from there. I know it seems like I'm making this up but seriously, I'm not kidding at all! She really missed me, and couldn't call me during that 2 year gap because she was nervous, scared, her gf wouldn't let her call me, and she felt really guilty and sorry for everything she has done to me.

Kinda wish I was making this up, but it seems so good to be true.

And you're not feeling used?

He has the personal right to be 'Happy'...

Guess the homograph of the synonym!

has anybody here drank soya milk?

I'm about to drink one.. jsut asking if anyone who is lactose intolerant here had any problems drinking this... :(

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Originally Posted by Jacob Roman

I'm telling you people, that this is true. She and her gf broke up, she moved back to Cocoa Beach, now works at Sterling Casino, got my cell phone number through my best friend Jackie, called me, and it went off from there. I know it seems like I'm making this up but seriously, I'm not kidding at all! She really missed me, and couldn't call me during that 2 year gap because she was nervous, scared, her gf wouldn't let her call me, and she felt really guilty and sorry for everything she has done to me.

Kinda wish I was making this up, but it seems so good to be true.

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And you think we care because... ?

i can dance macarena.

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Originally Posted by CyberSurfer

I dunno what it is, but I can't help but have the sneaky suspicion that JR is making every single bit of this up. I mean, who tells people on the internet that their girlfriend turns lesbian and dumps them? Hardly a resounding acclamation of one's manhood. Coupled with that, who then also seriously expects us to beleive that they have magically converted said ex back????? I smell an attention seeking teenager!!

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You people are no fun at all :mad:

Who really cares whether he made it up or not. If he didn't, it's still hillarious, and makes him the butt of many a joke. If he did make it up, then it's comic genious. There are few people on here who can consistently say things so outrageous that they get referred to in thread after thread in which they don't actually appear (let's see....NoteMe, Mendhak, Wossy, Bodwad, Oceane....etc).

Life would be that much less interesting without JR. Trying to pass judgement on him is like spitting on a fruitcake, nobody benefits.

(by the way, I hope somebody else can explain that metaphor to me, I was going to say something different, but the AUP caused me to change every noun and verb in the metaphor, and I'm not sure quite what I meant by what I ended up with)

I've tried and tried to get my ex's into chicks. If they shared my interests, we might still be together today.

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Originally Posted by Shaggy Hiker

You people are no fun at all :mad:

Who really cares whether he made it up or not. If he didn't, it's still hillarious, and makes him the butt of many a joke. If he did make it up, then it's comic genious. There are few people on here who can consistently say things so outrageous that they get referred to in thread after thread in which they don't actually appear (let's see....NoteMe, Mendhak, Wossy, Bodwad, Oceane....etc).

Life would be that much less interesting without JR. Trying to pass judgement on him is like spitting on a fruitcake, nobody benefits.

(by the way, I hope somebody else can explain that metaphor to me, I was going to say something different, but the AUP caused me to change every noun and verb in the metaphor, and I'm not sure quite what I meant by what I ended up with)

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Passing judgement on him is part of the fun. ;)

What has happened now is totally irrelevant. What is important is that you turned your then g/f into a lesbian, something you will be eternally ridiculed for :D

If however she has returned, as you say, then perhaps the opportunity for a threesome is good :thumb:

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If however she has returned, as you say, then perhaps the opportunity for a threesome is good

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and don't forget to post some pics.

I just done something better than a 3-some last night. I just got some sweet poon from both my ex's, and I'm not joking! Two booty calls in one night ain't bad. I'm tired of relationships. It's time I be a player for a change. Don't hate the playa, hate da game. This oughta be fun. :bigyello:

Isn;t he a little bit of bull**** :D Everytime we pick on him he comes back saying he got this and that and what not. As if poon is waiting for us to say something against him and poon can go and get humped.

JR, I think you are confused. Penthouse forum is where they usually have drivel like this, not VB forum.

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Dear VB forum,

I know this sounds completely outrageous, but every word of it is true. So I was nailing some fat broad who would steal from me. That is until one day, when she found some other butch fat broad, and she decided that she was more of a man than I was, and they ran off together.

Then I found a picture of a blonde on the net, and started telling people she was my girlfriend. Yeah, kinda like in Napolean Dynamite. Eventually I lost the picture, so I decided the best thing for a skinny white boy to do was to become a dj. So I bought me some turntables, and nagged people incessantly about dj stuff.

Eventually people stopped talking about me, so I said to myself, I said "Self...maybe if I told people that the big fat klesbo (that's klepto and lesbo put together, for those of you not paying attention) reconverted, even though people thought that she was looking for a more womanly partner, and Rosie O'Donnell wasn't doing it for her anymore, so she thought I would fit that role.

Now I'm up to the point where I'm am telling people that I'm having 9-ways with fatty, Rosie, and all of their pets (including the hermit crabs). And I somehow still find time to drop some mad beats on my turntables, dawg.

PS - didn't I say I knocked up Rosie at some point, too? Any devotees remember?

JR

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That about sums up the last couple years, I think...

:lol:

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Originally Posted by Jacob Roman

I'm tired of relationships. It's time I be a player for a change. Don't hate the playa, hate da game. This oughta be fun. :bigyello:

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I don't like the sound of this at all.
Just because you had some bad relationships doesn't mean you can go out and hurting others as well. It would be unfair to the real ones who care.

I had a bad relationship too, it went for 7 years till i called it off, that still doesn't mean I should hit on every guy who comes knocking. :sick:

You are taking everything negatively. Yeah you may give yourself some slack but giving up altogether is just inhumane.

Thinks about this.

He just cannot resist saying he did something better, as though he is desperately trying to get our attention. :lol:

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Originally Posted by chocoloco

Isn;t he a little bit of bull**** :D Everytime we pick on him he comes back saying he got this and that and what not. As if poon is waiting for us to say something against him and poon can go and get humped.

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Say what you want, but as my thread title says, I kid you not. Don't worry bout it cause I'm really thinking bout option C., finding someone else. Although my ex's are still dating me and putting out and all, I can fully admit that these girls got some serious issues. At least one of them does things for me for a change, like hooking me up with free weed, buys me dinner, and helps me out when I'm in need.

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Originally Posted by Jacob Roman

Don't worry bout it cause I'm really thinking bout option C., finding someone else.

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But how could you let such obvious treasures get away?? I say you fly them out to Reno and have a 3-tuxedo wedding performed by Paula Poundstone.

This latest turn is not good.

I know from past experience, long ago. If one or both get wind of the other or mad because you dump her for the other you are in for a world of hurt.

Believe me when I say they will find a way to get back at you and it will not be pleasant.

Do you remember the story of John and Lorena Bobbitt ?

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Originally Posted by moeur

This latest turn is not good.

I know from past experience, long ago. If one or both get wind of the other or mad because you dump her for the other you are in for a world of hurt.

Believe me when I say they will find a way to get back at you and it will not be pleasant.

Do you remember the story of John and Lorena Bobbitt ?

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That's just it though. I'm not going out with either one of them. They are my ex's. We just date here and there and have sex.

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Originally Posted by oceanebelle

I don't like the sound of this at all.
Just because you had some bad relationships doesn't mean you can go out and hurting others as well. It would be unfair to the real ones who care.

I had a bad relationship too, it went for 7 years till i called it off, that still doesn't mean I should hit on every guy who comes knocking. :sick:

You are taking everything negatively. Yeah you may give yourself some slack but giving up altogether is just inhumane.

Thinks about this.

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:eek:

She actually bought the nonsense from JR .....

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Originally Posted by Jacob Roman

I'm not going out with either one of them.

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Originally Posted by Jacob Roman

We just date here and there and have sex.

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:ehh: Maybe I've been doing it wrong this whole time?

WOW.

Did she like Nuns by ant chance ?
Where there midgets hanging around when she was turned ?

I can't wait till Part III.

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Originally Posted by crptcblade

:ehh: Maybe I've been doing it wrong this whole time?

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I think we all have if that's the case...

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I'm not going out with either one of them. They are my ex's. We just date here and there and have sex

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In your mind this is the way things are.

In the female mind, I'm telling you it is different and you are playing with fire.

Check my avatar.. I'm still the real JR...

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Originally Posted by moeur

In your mind this is the way things are.

In the female mind, I'm telling you it is different and you are playing with fire.

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Indeed so. He is SO going to get it when either finds out about the other one