CHECK THIS OUT!!!!!

The final battle has begun, Alex comess out of hiding using the valkyrie warrior as a weapon, he catches Arbiter unawares and delivers a swift blow to the midrib.

As Arbiter has the 2 chickens and Alex's arm on his left side, Arbeiter looses balance and falls to the floor. Knowing this is the last chance for him to take over vbworld, Alex grabs the badger as Arbeiter falls.

Turning this round, Alex keeps squeezing farts out of it's lifeless body, hoping to recreate Ian's earlier attempt of suffocating the whole of the enemy...

As Ian is so pissed, he can't feel pain and doesn't really notice that he is burning to pieces and thinks "I'll be alright in the morning". he staggers back into the office and looks for any thing remotley alchaholic, and find's a bottle of meth's in a cupboard and thinks "well that will have to do" and down's that. He notices that his beer fart is still lurching around and as soon as it notices that his creator has arrisen, start's following him waiting to unload it's wrath at his masters command. He notices Alex and below's as only a pissed person can do "Go my beuty, reap you destruction on the man who is mad for it and betrayed his brother in arms.". The Fart doesn't need telling twice and surges at arbiter with all the strength and stench of that weekend session, that you know will make your gut's heave the next day. It hurtles towards ALEX, who will certainely perish from this monster .....

*Unbeknowst to Arbiter, the Armadillo contained HarbringerofVoles soul*
*Chuckling quietly to itself, it bides it time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike!*
*As Arbiter gets closer, and closer to alex, the armadillo begiens to glow red, and projectile vomit, like a scene from the exorcist!*
*HarbringerofVole is reincarnated as an armadillo....*
*Lunging, he strikes for Arbiters neck...*

<there is a very strange smell of petrol around the area>
<everyone looks up to see a silohoute of merlin lighting>
<a hamlet cigar with a match, then they watch the match>
<fall to the floor in a movie style slow motion thing>
<then there is a towering inferno of flames and bodies,> <then the methane from the decaying bodies ignites and> <Merlin reigns supreme.>

<HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha>

<I am now the owner of vbworld>

<then suddenly he sees James on the horizon with an Ak - 47>
<merlin gasps in horror, but then laughs as he realises> <that James has not been sent to kill him but promote him> <to guru and he wants me to join him and knock off John.>

<ha ha ha ha ha ha>

Merlin ? (Guru/vbowner/immortale being)

*However, the armadillio is made of asbestos, so is immune to the fire of wrath!!*
*The armadillo runs up to this new imposter, and gives him a bad case of asbestos in the lungs, of which he will die an agonizing death, 50 years later. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!*


[Edited by HarbringerOfVole on 10-04-2000 at 04:48 AM]

Merlin already suffering from a severe cough, falls to the floor in a coughing fit, but his new buddy james picks him up and sends him to a private hospital , which places him in an iron lung, he also calls the RSPCA to take the armadilo to a wildlife sanctuary, and james decides to regain his place in vbworld

Merlin (guru,vbworld owner, aspestos lungs)

Arbiter, somewhat surprised at the massive assault that came his way, regains his feet and stares malevolently at alex.

Raising Alex's arm as a club he brings it crashing down with all his considerable strength onto alex's head shattered the skull and splashing brains all over the wall.

Alex is no more.

The blow to his midriff however was far more serious than it originally seemed and, coughing blood, Arbiter slumps - his life fading fast - to the floor.

With a rattled cough and a gout of blood Arbiters eyes slowely glaze over...

The great Alex is no more, however, as Alex's body slumps to the ground, his left leg breaks and the pressure of the torso crushing the leg shoots the corn on the cob out at a startling speed, and ripping through the armadilos head as it burys itself in Ians puke.

yet more brains are splattered across the floor as the armadillo is no more!

<Director> "OK, everyone CUT! Right guys that's a wrap."

Arbiter leaps to his his feet, wiping the fake blood from his mouth. Alex stands up pushing the plastic arm to one side and pulling his real arm out of his top.

<Director> "Nice take fella's. I don't think we'll have to retake that shoot."

Arbiter wipes his brow. The job of a stunt double is a tiring one. He gestures questioningly in the general direction of the pub to Alex.

Denniswren enters stage left complaining that the dummy used as his corpse is just not good looking enough to be him.

People rush in to extinguish Ianpbaker who's still burning away in his fire proof suit. He doesn't look too bothered though. Maybe the alcohol was real...

<Director> "C'mon janitors, clear this mess up. We've got the scene of the illicit affair between HarbringerOfVole and his Armadillo to film yet..."

Now your talking, PUB, funny how three little letters has just made my day!

Why Would Denniswrenn saying that not suprise me :D

the word PUB normally brightens anyones day. Put me in a field in the middle of no-where and I will still find the nearest one and have a pint there waiting for me. I can safetly say that I have been to every single pub in the town that I live in ast least once, regardless of how good it is

I can proudly say that I've drunk myself stupid in nearly every pub/bar/club/wine bar (shudder) in the area around where I live :D.

Wow,
British people are wierd.... I would never be proud of drinking myself stupid.........

Ok, I might be a little proud, but not too much.... :D

For us British, drinking ourselves into oblivion is a way of life...

it's not a way of life it's a relgion

Ian,

Don't ever, EVER mention that word in a thread!!!!

Gen-X and Kovan will be here in a minute opening a whole can o' whoop ass!

Ruuunn for the hiiiills!!!!

LOL

ahhh but if you noticed, I left out a letter. Ok it was a typo, but I didn't actually spell it

You had me worried there for a minute!

<cracks open a beer and leans legs on the desk>

Could it be that all vb developers are alcholics?

If there is one tee-total, non-drinking developer in this forum, post below, otherwise I'll take the above to be correct :)

Maybe in that case, guru status is achieved not by posts, but on how much someone can drink...

That would make me most accomplished guru here.

No question about it.

It's very rare for me to have blood in my alcohol stream...

I'm never drunk, it is the world that is diss-orientated

reality - sympton of the common disease, lack of alcohol

I'm not as think as you drunk I am :D !

Yeah, I think your right, I would be a good contender as well, and this would make me wonder how much James could get through in one sitting!

Strangely enough, the only two people on this forum I have noticed are teetotal are Gen-X and Kovan... :) Just another argument for alcoholism if you ask me ;)

Ish shweeer tat I doon't drinksh (hic!) eithrer.

Alex,

Have you been at the Brasso again?

ils beesh shick ash a dog insh the morning

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and
an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football
team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least
you need a beer.
--Frank Zappa

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will
teach you to keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemmingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol
Than alcohol has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer.
--Plato

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the
decency to thank her.
--W.C. Fields

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
--His reply

Sir, you're drunk!
--Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
Yes, Madam, and you're ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober and
you will still be ugly.
--His reply


If God had not intended us to drink beer, He would not have
given us stomachs.
--David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
--Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
--Henny Youngman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking
beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
--Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history
of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was
also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly
as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few
drinks behind.
--Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it
from urine.
--David Moulton

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of
beer; they just like to pee alot.
--Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the
world.
--Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet
beer.
--Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as
hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no
way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
--Dave Barry

I drink to make other people interesting.
--George Jean Nathan

They who drink beer will think beer.
--Washington Irving

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to
spend time with fools.
--For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without
holding on.
--Dean Martin

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like
me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing
you with beer.
--Homer Simpson

I'm allergic to grass, so what? It could be much worse,
I could be allergic to beer.
--Greg Norman

Quote:

---

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like
me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing
you with beer.
--Homer Simpson

---

One of his 4 tiny brains there (3 always thinking about women, 1 about beer, hmmmm bit like me then :D)

I think in Homer's case all four tiny brains are on beer. I'd love to meet the writers of the show. They have got to be interesting!