positive does not mean you are sane katie ;)
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positive does not mean you are sane katie ;)
Thank you Parksie....I try!
What's the definition of Abusive?
What's the matter, stupid, don't you know the answer?
Quote:
If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation,
I would have recommended something simpler.
-- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile,
Commenting on the Almagest, by Ptolemy.
What's the definitions of Insanity?
You've got to be crazy to ask me that question!!!!
Quote:
Hear about...
one penile desensitizer that's so effective that you
have to stroke the tube for five minutes to get the cap off?
What's the definition of Masturbation?
I can single-handedly answer that question!!!
Katie...are you recycling old material?
Shame on you ;)
A teenage girl came home from school and asks her mother,
"Is it true what Rita just told me?"
"What's that?" asks her mother.
"That babies come out of the same place where boys put
their penises?" said her daughter.
"Yes it is dear!" replies her mother, pleased that the
subject had finally come up and that she wouldn't have
to explain it to her daughter.
"But then, when I have a baby," responded the teenager,
"won't it knock my teeth out?"
Quote:
It was his third marriage and her fourth. He was quite surprised when on
their honeymoon she pleaded, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"Darling, what do you mean you're still a virgin? You've been
married three times."
"Yes, but they all worked for DEC. The first was a salesman,
and all he ever did was promise how good it would be. The second was one
of their software hacks, he told me to take care of it myself. And the
third was a field service representative, and he kept promising that it
would be up in 15 minutes.
I just went outside to see what I could see....actually to have a cigarette.....it's flipping COLD and wet out there...my mind if frozen...look what it's led me to..I need to go home........I'm so ashamed for my sins of recycled humor......can you ever forgive me?
Cold is better... it's about 10° here... and I am loving it :D
Of course - remember my philosophical signature :)Quote:
Originally posted by barrk
I just went outside to see what I could see....actually to have a cigarette.....it's flipping COLD and wet out there...my mind if frozen...look what it's led me to..I need to go home........I'm so ashamed for my sins of recycled humor......can you ever forgive me?
Cold is horrible! The only thing worse is cold and wet....we've got both here today!
I like the cold too. It's about -6 to -10 wind chill standing at the train station. After 30mins you can't actually talk...your jaw muscles kind of stiffen up...because the wind goes really fast because it's funnelled down the platform :(
Quote:
WARNING TO ALL PERSONNEL:
Firings will continue until morale improves.
yeah, gotta have wet too.....
Quote:
There's more than one way to skin a cat:
Way number 27 -- Use an electric sander.
Quote:
If any demonstrator ever lays down in front of my car, it'll be the last
car he ever lays down in front of.
-- George Wallace
Quote:
A young woman was afflicted with three brothers who had a friendly competition
as to who was the best practical joker. When she announced her marriage,
like all good brothers, they immediately found out where the honeymoon would
be and repaired there to do their worst, er, best. The brother who was a
carpenter went first, and came back out in five minutes. The brother who
worked as a plumber went second and was out in about half an hour. Finally,
the brother employed as a dentist went inside and came out almost immediately.
A few days after the start of their sister's honeymoon the brothers each
received a telegram from their sister. It read:
I liked the couch falling apart when we sat on it. I was amused
when the shower went cold five minutes after it started. But I'm
going to kill whoever put the novocaine into the KY jelly...
You people are CRAZY!!!!! Sunshine, warmth, and blue skies....now that's living right!
Quote:
Originally posted by Benjamin
yeah, gotta have wet too.....
I knew you weren't gay Dennis!