Todays' fish will be battering whinging Australians today...
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Todays' fish will be battering whinging Australians today...
Yeah, bloody Convicts :p
What happened to your Hammers at the weekend?
*Run away, Gooner Boy is here *
Southern fairy!
northern ******
:rolleyes: No fighting, you Whippet Breader and Loud Mouth Cockney!
:rolleyes: shut it and go wash your combine harvester, it's bloody filthy
/Kicks Gooner squarely in the nuts...Quote:
Originally posted by Ianpbaker
*Run away, Gooner Boy is here *
Morning. I'm taking no ***** today.
:(
what's up fella ?
I hope that this cheers everyone up. :)
Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating
every aspect of American life with the introduction of
Contraceptive 98, a suite of applications designed for users who
engage in sex.
Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and
plug and play. It believes these technologies will give it
substantial leverage in penetrating the copulation enhancement
market.
The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for
virus protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the
non-propagation of human beings.
The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom 98,
DeFetus 1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton
Utilities).
A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the
package. The suite also comes in two expanded versions.
Contraceptive 98 Professional is the Client/Server edition, for
professionals in the sexual services sector. Contraceptive98
Small Business Edition is a package for start-ups, aimed at the
housewife and gigolo niches.
While Contraceptive 98 does not address non-traditional
copulatory channels, future plug-ins are planned for next year.
They will be known as BackDoor, AuraLee, TitElation, and JerkOff.
OPERATION
Only one node in a peer-to-peer connection needs to install the
package. At installation, the Condom98 software checks for
minimum hardware. If the user meets the requirements, the product
installs and is sufficiently scaleable to meet most requirements.
After installation, operation commences. One caution is that the
user must have sufficient RAM to complete the session. When the
session is complete, a disconnect is initiated, and the user gets
the message, "It is now safe to turn off your partner."
DRAWBACKS
Usability testers report that frequent failures were a major
concern during beta testing. General Protection Fault was the
most serious error encountered. Early versions had numerous bugs,
but most of these have been eliminated. The product needs to be
installed each time its used.
CONCLUSION
Contraceptive 98 is a robust product. Despite its drawbacks, it
is a reasonably good value for its $49.95 price tag, and is far
superior to its shareware version. Hopefully, future releases (of
the software, that is) will add missing functionality, such as
Backout and Restore, Uninterruptible Power Supply, and Onboard
Camera.
Microsoft CEO Bill Gates is optimistic about Contraceptive 98s
potential. He recently said, "Our contraceptive products will
help users do to each other what we've been doing to our
customers for years."
Hello everyone btw
Afternoon :)
Good afternoon Pix :)
How goes it ?
Hey Ian! :)
How you doin?
I'm a bit tired, but apart from that I'm happy and smiley :)
I'm pretty good, recovering from an abolutley blinding weekend :)
The current project that I've been working on for the last 6 month's is finally comming to a close, so everything is peachy at the moment :D
Having fun at uni ?
Hee hee, sounds like you're having fun :)
Uni is great but I'm missing home a lot. Made lots of friends (some of them insist on calling me Harry Potter for some reason).
It was someone's b'day next door yesterday so I didn't get home until about 2:30. I'm lucky that I don't have a lecture until 4 - some people had to get up for 9 this morning! We had to go and have a laugh though - the lads decided to go to the union dressed in shirts, ties, shorts, long socks and shoes. Why they did it I don't know, but it was v.funny anyway :)
So you look like this then do you Pix?
http://movies.go.com/images/movies/h...stone_2001.jpg
(the one on the left)
bringing back some fond memories of when I was at uni. I was only there for two years as I was doing a HND, but still had an absolute ball :). I was down at brighton UNI and one year we went out an celebrated my 20th. we went out and got absolutley hammered and when the club chucked us out there was this big group of people carrying me over their heads along the seafront. then they decided to chuck me into a fountain. the only problem to all this was that my birthday is on Jan 2nd and the water was a tad cold :eek: soone sobered me up though :)
Well I'm glad that you are having fun pix :)
*yawn* Hello!
booyaka