- Virginity like bubble, one ***** - all gone.
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- Virginity like bubble, one ***** - all gone.
He who steps on others to reach the top has good balance.
The trouble with being punctual is that people think you have nothing more
important to do.
I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to
any question.
-- Spock, "This Side of Paradise", stardate 3417.3
Kirk to Enterprise -- beam down yeoman Rand and a six-pack.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't
pick your friend's nose.
"Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't
help but wonder: What the f**k was I thinking?"
"I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love.
After having met you, I've changed my mind."
"Daddy?"
"Yes son."
"Wha-wha-wha-what does regret mean?"
"Well, son, a funny thing about regret is that it's better to regret
something you have done, than to regret something you haven't done. And
by the way, if you see your Mom this weekend, would be you sure and tell
her, `SATAN, SATAN, SATAN!!!'"
-- Butthole Surfers, "Sweat Loaf"
"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed
in Hell until I met you."
Programmers do it until it goes down.
"If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your brother."
"The hell with the prime directive! Let's kill something!"
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not
here to ruin it for me."
9 reasons a taco is better than a woman:
(1) Tacos don't put frilly covers on the toilet seat so the lid won't
stay up.
(2) Tacos don't use your razor on their legs.
(3) Tacos don't say "That's okay, it doesn't have to be good for me."
(4) Tacos don't get upset if you eat another taco, "Just for fun."
(5) Tacos will never contest a divorce, demand a property settlement,
or seek custody of anything.
(6) Tacos won't ask you about your last lover, or speculate about your
next one.
(7) A taco will never make a scene because there are other tacos in the
refrigerator.
(8) It's easy to drop a taco.
(9) Tacos don't want to sleep on your chest.
"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..."
A man is driving down the road on his way to Salerno. By the roadside he
sees a man hitchhiking and stops to pick him up. As the man gets into his
car he suddenly pulls out a gun and makes the driver get out of the car.
"All right, buddy," says the man, "I want to you jerk off."
"What!?" says the man, disbelievingly.
"Go ahead, do it!" says the hitchhiker.
So the driver masturbates, and when he is through, says, "All right,
I did what you wanted, can I go now?"
"Nope," says the hijacker. "Do it again."
"Again?" the driver exclaims. "I just did it."
"Do it again."
It takes a little longer this time, but he manages to come again.
Panting, he turns to his tormenter and again asks if he can leave.
"Yes," the man replies, "but only after you've done it one more
time."
The guy is really scared now; he's starting to sweat. It takes him
twenty minutes, this time, but he finally comes a third time.
"Listen, buddy, can I please leave now?"
"Yeah," says the man, lowering his gun. "And this is my daughter;
I want you to drive her into Salerno."
Man who pull out too fast leave rubber.
Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods on her way to
visit her grandmother when a wolf jumped out from behind a tree.
"Aha!" the wolf said, "Now I've got you, and I'm going to eat you."
"Eat, eat, eat," said Little Red Riding Hood angrily, "Damn it,
doesn't anybody **** anymore?"
Woman who slide down bannister make monkey shine.