How US history would of changed via a Surname
Ok American Revolutionary War time folks. Bare with me, especially if you are female, blond, approx 18, with large....oops :rolleyes"
We are talking bottom of the nineth, the Brits are at bat, bases loaded, with the Duke up at the plate. The guy is batting a thousand, doesn't look good for the locals who are yet to score. The coach scratches his head and decides to call in a relief pitcher. Up to the mound steps George Washington. It's tense, but George has a secret weopan up his sleeve, a curve ball.
Basically George is going to ship the continental army across the Delaware and take the Brits by surprise.
Ok imagine you are there, its cold, snowing, and the US forces are starving and facing defeat.
Captain Wrenn of the Armies of Virgina arrives at the Washington household were Martha is doing the Ye Olde New Idea cross world. 12 Down three letter word a Colour.
"Martha my dear, where is George", asks the rather handsome Captain.
Mrs Washington is rather peeved by this, as she almost has the word.
"Washington is at the Delaware".
"THank You mam, l will take my forces and join General Washington in this most dangerous mission. Long live the Republic!" SO saying Captain Wrenn steps outside and addresses the army, "Men it is time for herioc deeds. Let us join George and open a serious can of whoop ass".
The rest is history. George throws the curve ball and strikes the Duke out, envigorated by this success the locals go on to take the game in overtime. And the locals are very good in overtime.
Now
Consider if George's name wasn't Washington but WashingDate.
Captain Wrenn approaches Martha
"Where may we find George"
Martha who almost has the answer to 12 down, starts with R finishes with D replies.
"WashingDate at the Delaware"
Captain Wrenn goes outside to address the revolutionary armies.
"Er, uhmm, apparently George is washing his date in the Delaware. Er, lets go and hang on the hood and leave him to it."
George throws his curve ball, the Duke gets hold of that sucker and puts it out of the stadium.
Now today things would be different.
No School Yard massacres, Brit gun control
And forget the Bushes, that sort of thing is only for the House of Lords.
So there you have it, blame George for having the wrong bloody surname.
Except from Jethro's upcoming book "The Date, a Socio-Political Framework
Next week kiddies we will learn how French History would have been so much different if they had of had Napolean BoneaDate.
