Laws of Life

* Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less
important you are to the corporation, the more
your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work
late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work
early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large
enough to increase your taxes and just small
enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers
everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing
what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want
to be doing something else.

* Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no
answers, only cross-references.

* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned
to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at
the bottom of the grocery bag.

*Jethro's first law of backups*

The backup tape will work brilliantly, except when you need it after corrupting the database.

*Jethro's second law of backups*

Your whole system will be backup, except for that little piece of data you need to re-install the system.

*Jethro's third law of backups*

The thing you need to restore will always be at the end of the tape.