#> Anti-Micro$oft J0kes!!!!
Any one wanting to contibute...? :D Please feel free :)
This Thread is not responsible for any damage or harm. For example, if your dog bites you as a result of using this thread, we are NOT responsible. "Microsoft", "Windows", "Internet"; the letters 'M', 'S'; the words "active", "browser", "feature"; and the names "Bill", "Gates", and "Bob" are all trademarks of Microsoft Corporation. No Microsoft products were used in the creation of this Thread ;)
http://members.optusnet.com.au/~glob...yte/winazi.jpg
Source Code for Windows 2000
PHP Code:
#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "workst~1.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#include "monopoly.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD
char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
disable_Netscape();
disable_RealPlayer();
disable_Lotus_Products();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();
if (fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt)
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
}
Re: £$%^&*()$%£^%$&_*(&^£^%$
Quote:
Originally posted by ghost ryder
hypocompuglobalmeganet
They have the internet on computers thses days.
I'm not sure what hypocompuglobalmeganet, if anything, does, so rather than risk competing with you, i've decided just to buy you out.
1 Attachment(s)
Not exactly anti M$ but.....
NEW PRODUCT: MICROSOFT CONTRACEPTIVES
Microsoft Corporation has taken another step toward dominating every
aspect of American life with the introduction of Contraceptive98, a
suite of applications designed for users who engage in sex.
Microsoft has been a pioneer in peer-to-peer connectivity and plug and
play. It believes these technologies will give it substantial leverage
in penetrating the copulation enhancement market.
The product addresses two important user concerns: the need for virus
protection and the need for a firewall to ensure the non-propagation of
human beings.
The Contraceptive98 suite consists of three products: Condom98, DeFetus
1.0 (from Sementec), and AIDScan 2.1 (from Norton Utilities).
A free copy of Intercourse Explorer 4.0 is bundled in the package. The
suite also comes in two expanded versions. Contraceptive98 Professional
is the Client/Server edition, for professionals in the sexual services
sector. Contraceptive98 Small Business Edition is a package for
start-ups, aimed at the housewife and gigolo niches.
OPERATION
Only one node in a peer-to-peer connection needs to install The
package. At installation, the Condom98 software checks for minimum
hardware. If the user meets the requirements, the product installs and
is sufficiently scaleable to meet most requirements. After
installation, operation commences.
One caution is that the user must have sufficient RAM to complete the
session. When the session is complete, a disconnect is initiated, and
the user gets the message, "It is now safe to turn off your partner."
DRAWBACKS
Usability testers report that frequent failures were a major concern
during beta testing. General Protection Fault was the most serious error
encountered. The product needs to be installed each time it is used.
Microsoft CEO Bill Gates is optimistic about Contraceptive98's
potential. He recently said, "Our contraceptive products will help users
do to each other what we've been doing to our customers for years."
Re: Re: £$%^&*()$%£^%$&_*(&^£^%$
Quote:
Originally posted by chrisjk
They have the internet on computers thses days.
I'm not sure what hypocompuglobalmeganet, if anything, does, so rather than risk competing with you, i've decided just to buy you out.
Oh I loved that episode. And it had the Lord of the Flies takeoff... I actually read that book just a while ago (forced to by school). Was better than I thought, though.
-JR-
Re: Not exactly anti M$ but.....
LOL :D
Quote:
Originally posted by barrk
:p
Re: Source Code for Windows 2000
You forgot to include:
PHP Code:
display_JOIN_MSN_Message();
display_JOIN_AOL_Message();
In every possible loop... :D
Quote:
Originally posted by Bonker Gudd
PHP Code:
#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "workst~1.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#include "monopoly.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD
char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
make_futile_attempt_to_damage_Linux();
disable_Netscape();
disable_RealPlayer();
disable_Lotus_Products();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();
if (fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 3.0"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows 98"); */
/* printf("Welcome to Windows NT 4.0"); */
printf("Welcome to Windows 2000");
if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt)
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
}
