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well I guess it's kind of stupid
but the problem was solved by installing php as ISAPI instead of cgi which I don't know why it was installed that way .
it also solved some issues I had with the source encoding and hebrew which brought up some weird mysql chraset #16 unavailable msg in some pages (even that most of the other hebrew pages encoded the same way worked perfectly )
any way if your server runs Windows and php is installed as cgi shout at your stupid sysadmin to instal it as ISAPI