this just seems to fit with today...
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this just seems to fit with today...
oh god that made me laugh :) first time in ages thanksQuote:
Originally posted by barrk
this just seems to fit with today...
How dumb do I have to be to spell people with two o's? DUH!!!!!!!!!! Please forgive my ineptitude! :rolleyes:
Where?Quote:
Originally posted by barrk
How dumb do I have to be to spell people with two o's? DUH!!!!!!!!!! Please forgive my ineptitude! :rolleyes:
The thread title......maybe I shouldn't have pointed it out and then no one would have noticed.....
to the one with the picture!!Quote:
Originally posted by barrk
The thread title......maybe I shouldn't have pointed it out and then no one would have noticed.....
there is no thread title!
The Indians asked their Chief in autumn if the winter was going to be
cold or not.
Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies the winter was going
to be cold, and the members of the village were to collect wood to be
prepared for a cold winter.
Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called
the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?"
The man on the phone responded, "This winter was going to be quite
cold indeed."
So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more
wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather
Service again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes", the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."
So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find
every scrap of wood they can find.
Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again "Are you
absolutely sure the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely, we made a study " the weather man replies, "the Indians
are collecting wood like crazy!"
his guy sees his new neighbor out in his backyard, so he decides to get acquainted. After introductions, he asks the new neighbor what he does for a living.
The new neighbor says,";I'm a professor." The first neigbhbor then asks,"Oh yeah, what do you teach?"
"Logic", the professor reponds. "What is that?" the neighbor #1inquires.
"Well, let me see if I can give you an example...you have a dog, right?"
"Yeah, that's right, " the neighbor #1 responds.
"And you have children too, right?" says the professor.
"Wow, right again," exclaims the neighbor.
"So, then you must be married and that would make you a heterosexual, right?'' proclaims the professor.
"Unbelievable, you're absolutely correct. How do you know all this about me?"
"Well," the professor says, "I observed there was a dog house in your backyard, so you must have a dog. I also saw bicycles next to your garage, so you must have children. And if you have children, you are probably married and if your married, you are most likely heterosexual...it was all logical!"
The next afternoon, the neighbor runs into his old friend. His friend asks if he has met the new neighbor. The man says that he met him yesterday.
"What's he like?"
"Well," the man says, "he's nice and he is a professor of logic."
"Oh," says the friend, "what's logic?"
"Maybe I can give you an example. Do you have a dog house?"
"Why, no, I do not," responds the friend. "Well, then," proclaims the man, "you must be gay!"
Back in the old Wild West, there were two blonde cowpokes, Jeff
and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in
the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's
head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week
the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and
killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head
of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars."
The two blondes looked at each other and walked out of the bar to
go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while
when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the
Indian right on the head.
The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a
ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave
pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this." Dave replied,
"Not now, I'm busy."
Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you
should look at this."
Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's a thousand
dollars in my hand."
But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this."
So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine
were five thousand red Indians.
Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh . . . my . . . God . . .
we're going to be millionaires!"
A blonde bought a new pair of shoes but told her
husband she couldn’t wear them for three days.
When her husband asked why, she replied, "Because
the shoe salesman said the may not be comfortable
for the first couple of days."
Thank you ever so much!!!!