-Your last name stays put.
-The garage is all yours.
-Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-Chocolate is just another snack.
-You can be president.
-You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
-Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
-The world is your urinal.
-You never have to drive to another gas station because this
one's just too icky.
-Same work...more pay.
-Wrinkles add character.
-Wedding Dress $5,000; Tux rental $100.
-People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
-New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
-One mood, ALL the damn time.
-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-You know stuff about tanks.
-A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-You can open all your own jars.
-You can leave the motel bed unmade.
-You can kill your own food.
-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can
still be your friend.
-Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
-You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours
without ever thinking:"He must be mad at me."
-If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you
just might become lifelong friends.
-You are not expected to know the names of more than five
colors.
-You almost never have strap problems in public.
-You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
-The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
-You don't have to shave below your neck.
-One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
-You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
-You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
-Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on
December 24th in 45 minutes.
