funny, astounding, startling, whatever. everything welcome.
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funny, astounding, startling, whatever. everything welcome.
In possession of a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
Other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?
Gun control: Using both hands.
and
After I cook the vegetables, what do I do with the wheelchairs?
She is so far back in the closet, that she is currently in Narnia.
Scientology will relieve you of the weight of your excess money.
I put my finger in my nose and part of my brain came out.
Anyone got some aspirin? i think i am catching a cold... ;)
Nothing to declare... except my genius
Oscar Wilde, passing through Customs.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.
and
There are three lies in life. Lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Lost: Wife and dog. Will pay reward for dog.
What can five men do at the same time that five women can't? Piss on the same spot.
Ninety percent of the politiciants give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
Should 'anal retentive' have a hyphen?
The home page on my website displays a random quote each visit. Each time you click on the "Home" link on the left hand side (or refresh the page) you'll get a new one.
The address is: http://www.mralston.co.uk
I'd apreciate any that you people want to add to the site too. :)
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
and
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.