mendhak and the Chamberpot of Secretions

Whilst lazing on my holidays, I got to thinking that a lot in this world does depend on what you are named. You can't imagine a president called Chowdrey Snood. But a good solid name like Gerald Ford is pretty good. Bill Gates could be a businessman's name, as could Richard Branson. But not Connie Filthe. And just look at what has happened to visualAd.

Imagine if JK Rowling hadn't named her hero Harry Potter, but had instead called him mendhak. She probably wouldn't have sold nearly as many books, but they might have involved a few more ufo's. The question is, though, what on earth would she have actually called them?

mendhak and the Rambler's Rock?
mendhak and the halitosis horribilis?
mendhak and the Order of the Schizophrenic Voice?
mendhak and the Prisoner of HisOwnMind?

Suggestions, please.

mendhak the Gobbler of Tyres

Book 7: Mendhak gets a restraining order against zaza

Mendhak and the shirt with wrap around sleeves.
Mendhak and the men in white.
Mendhak and he's philosophically stoned.

Mendhak gets an anal probe... if he were in South Park.