Humor Check....Is this funny? I think so.
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the
middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at
night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4 position and hired
a person for the job.
Then Congress said, How does the watchman do his job without
instruction?" So they created a planning position and hired two
(2) people, one person to write the instructions, GS-12 and one
person to do time studies, GS-11. Then Congress said, "How will
we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"
So they created a Q. C. position and hired two (2) people, one
GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports. Then
Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" so they
created the following positions, a time keeper, GS-09, and a
payroll officer, GS-11, and hired two (2) people.
Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these
people?" So they created an administrative position and hired
three (3) people, an Admin. Officer GM-13, Assistant Admin.
Officer GS-12, and a Legal Secretary GS-08.
Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for
one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall
cost."
So they laid off the night watchman.
**********************************************************
A 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in California......and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!
NAME: Greg Bulmash
SEX: Not yet. Still looking.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place would I.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options. If that’s not possible, make an offer (any offer) and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes, but it doesn’t seem to be paying off.
LAST POSITION HELD: A target for middle management hostility.
LAST SALARY: Way less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING LAST POSITION: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday, with a half-hour break around 2:00 p.m.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment and I don’t like to get caught doing them at work.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes, substance - I'd rather not say.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy, dumb, sexy blonde super model who
thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Who am I kidding, I’d
like to be doing that right now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
[Edited by barrk on 11-14-2000 at 06:52 PM]
Other things I think are funny....
George W. Bush
There's a joke if I ever heard one!
