For Wonder Woman................

This passed over my desk today........."The Advantages of being a Man"

Your arse is never a factor in a job interview.

Your orgasms are real. Always.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You don't have to curl up next to a hairy arse every night.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Foreplay is optional.

You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too
icky.

Same work....more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

Wedding dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Porn movies are designed with you in mind.

Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "so, notice anything
different?"

One mood, ALL the damn time.

And don't forget... Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.

You can go to a public toilet without a support group.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your
friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking
"he must be mad at me".

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit, you just might become
lifelong friends.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colours.

You don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th,
in 45 minutes.

So true So true..for that i say "GOOD MAN!! GOOD MAN!!":)

Note: That is another thing women cant do without feeling foolish.. SCREAM THERE DAMN HEAD OFF AND NOT GIVE A FLYING ****, :)




See ya

The dis-advantages of being a man.

1. The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for £500,000
2. Your not allowed to cry, even if you get your head stuck in a wood chipper
3. Women and children first

3. I'm still only 17 so that lets me out :)

Jethro - I like your attitude... :D

I will be a teen for another 4 years.... so I get out too...


4) we get to pee standing up, so women get multiple orgasms :(

Screw me and I get my chimpboyfriend to beat and maul you all up.

Hahahahaha...:laughing my arse off:

Thanks man, I needed a good laugh.

A few disadvantages of being a male:

1) We are the first target when woman gets P.M.S.
2) If we are not single, we can't talk to other females
3) If a woman asks, "Am I fat?" or "Are you saying I'm fat?", you are stuck in the spotlight and she knows that you have to answer, she just wants you to come out with an answer to make her feel good about herself. And if you answer wrong...well, let's not get into that.
4) We are always wrong according to her.
5) We can be used as tools for when she needs something.
6) It is not we who decides we want a female. It is her who decides whether she wants a male or not.

No offense to any females. I love females! But, it's called a "joke".

Hope I didn't offend any females.

No offense to males either. (No, I don't love you!)

OMG! Am I dissing myself?

That's all I could think of for now. Blah blah...so they aren't that good. You try and think of some! :rolleyes:

[Edited by Matthew Gates on 09-28-2000 at 05:36 PM]

More negatives about being a male :

1) There isn't a female word for Chauvinist

2) Nobody names a boat or car after us

3) Wedgies are DEADLY

4) "Honestly, I am aroused!!" doesn't work when your lying.

5) "Honestly, I am NOT aroused!!" doesn't work when they catch you looking.

6) Women don't have to worry about rolling over in the morning

7) A Good man is hard to find, but a Hard woman is a ballbreaker

8) T-shirts don't come in 38DD

9) Being drunk doesn't attract women

10) If your chatting someone up on the internet, its 50% likely they have the same equipment you have

11) A woman running around looking for sex gets locked up in your bedroom... A man running around looking for sex just gets locked up.

12) A woman who is bald is considered kinky (Think about it for a sec)



Some More Positives about being a man :

1) If no towel rack is available, you can bring your own

2) Turn the condom inside out if its ribbed

3) She's your Mother-In-Law and not your Mother

4) If your taking the male Pill and say "Its ok baby, I'm protected" it doesn't matter if your not

5) You don't scare your partner when they see you for the first time in the morning

6) Epilepse Has a few advantages when your alone

7) Nobody makes videos of you sprawled all over the bed

Love you Gen-X, will you go out with me?

Sorry Wonder Woman.... I don't go for Chicks with Dicks :D

why would you think i have a dick? I have a clitorius not a dick. I am vuluptuous and all 100% woman. Jethro, Chimpman, and Batman are all out of the game. I want you now. I know you want me. Playing hard to get to show your vb friends you are the world. Take me Gen-X, I will spread anything for you.

Well...any real woman would know that it's spelt C L I T O R I S.

I'll let you off, though, WW :).

so are you a woman parksie? :D

I think if you read some of my other posts you'll have no doubts that I'm not a woman...although I do know quite a few ;)

joking parksie. you said woman knows how to spell clitoris which you did.

It's a pity you couldn't see my wry grin during that last post :). In fact I'm still grinning (me? take things seriously? NAAAAAAH...)

So how long do you guys think HE is going to keep pretending to be a woman?

I am wondering if he is actually all "frocked-up" when he writes these emails as well.... just to give it a touch of authenticity ;)

like commander dennis said, wonder man not wonder woman.

Probably been watching too many mardi gras tapes.

It has to be someone on this forum. How the hell do you sign up for Vb-World and not post a single thing about VB?

Sorry if I offended you Wonder Woman :rolleyes:.