Stories of Life on the Frontier
A Day in the Life of a Disgruntled Data Entry Hardware Support Tech.
The background
It's 1999, the setting: Cheesy-Corporate data capture company in the Midlands (UK), a single open plan office that houses about 80 people. Basically a typing farm. I have the illustrious honour of being 'in charge' of the subcontractors.
I'm the guy that tells the new 'subbies' how to connect up our PC's once they get them home. Box, monitor, keyboard, modem, cables thats it. How hard can it be?
The intercom buzzes and I pick up:
-Hello?
-Hi its Mary-Anne-Elizabeth from the Reception suite
-Hi, what do you want?
-I've got a young lady here requesting hardware support advice
-{sweet!!} OK I'll be right down
Young apparently means 40 and heavy.
She was the thick one from last week that apparently had trouble blinking both eyes simultaneously. Keep your eyes on the prize, only 1 hour till knock-off. Ho hum.
I bring fatso up to the office and wheel her over to the hardware QC station (a wobbly table near a 240AC socket). She drops the DOS box on the table as if it belonged to someone else (me).
I asked her to set up the machine as she had done at home while I went off to get us some refreshments. As I left she had successfully mounted the monitor upside down on top of the PC box (which is actually a midi-tower form factor). Jesus.
I give her an extra 5 minutes to complete this monumental commandment and then I mosey on back. "I did it just like this at home and it won't work" she says, her expression radiating concern.
"Well, lets see", I righted the screen and put it down next to the bent case of the PC, then that was repositioned so that the sockets were at the back and the top was facing the ceiling. This caused some great revelation in the sweaty oaf.
"Gosh don't I look daft" she says. "Yes"
She had not yet connected the modem to the box so I instructed her to do so.
I never realised that a 9 pin serial cable could be jammed into a 25 pin LPT port so as to support its own weight and also that of the modem it's (incorrectly) connected to (when the modem falls off the table and lands in the mop & bucket trolley).
These things are sent to test our faith. I almost faltered but I was resolute and here I am today, head of a programming department, population: 1.
Life is **** isn't it?
