An issue that is close to my heart
Dennis, you have raised some important issues here regarding weight problems. (Before I get into that, let me respond to the traffic issue: Although I understand where you are coming from regarding pre-judging someone, I tend to agree with Gen-X's remarks on this; the traffic laws are in place for everyone's safety and we can't have people following the law only when they want to.)
On the weight issue, it is unfortunate that many people in our society judge a person as lazy, stupid, etc. just because they have some extra poundage. In an ideal world, people would judge others (to paraphrase MLK) "not by the color of their skin (or their size, ethnic background, etc. etc.), but by the content of their character."
I struggled with this as a young guy (I was very heavy between the ages of 12 to 14, so I know first-hand what you're dealing with). And now I've got a son that is close to your age, and I see him going thru the same thing. So the question is what do you want to do about it.
I'm 39, and I've been up and down weight-wise (fortunately, I'm down now and have been for over five years - I'm 5'10" and weigh 180 - but 6 years ago, in August 1994 I weighed 280!!!) The history of the ups and downs (in case anyone is interested) is as follows: By the time I was 14, I weighed 215, and I knew I had to do something if I wanted to attract a girlfriend (sure, there must have been a non-superficial girl out there who could see past the weight problem, but I didn't feel like waiting around - this is the real world, not the ideal one!). So I learned how to play the guitar and I went on the Atkins diet (when it FIRST became popular, in the 1970s!). By age 15 I was down to 165 and I remained relatively slim until my early 20's. I was also weight-lifting during this period to keep in shape. From my early 20s to age 33, between working, marraige, fatherhood, mortgages and all that other adult kinda stuff, the diet and exercise plan went out the window, and I climbed up to 280 pounds! Well, the Atkins diet had worked for me as a young guy, and it was becoming popular again, so I started on it in August of 1994. I lost 60 pounds on it the first 6 months, but it took another year to lose 20 more, and I was stuck between 200 and 210 until just this year. I didn't stay on Atkins this whole time, but I would alternate between it and a low-fat kind of thing (which I didn't follow strictly, which is why I remained stuck). Meanwhile, starting in the summer of 1997, we joined our community pool for the summer and I started doing laps (like Sam Finch recommends, this is a great exercise, which would be great for you because of the foot thing). So over the summers, I built up to doing 64 laps (1 mile at our pool). Just this past year, I joined an indoor pool so I could keep up with it and built up to 100 laps (just over 1.5 miles). Doing the lap workout 3 to 4 times a week, plus sticking with a low-fat/low-calorie diet is what helped me break the barrier I was at for so long.
So from all this rambling, here are the conclusions I have reached, based on what has worked for me personally:
(1) A lot of people will freak out when you mention the Atkins diet, but I loved it, it's not evil, and it can be great to give you a "jump start" losing weight. You can lose a lot of weight without even exercising the first several months you are on it. Admittedly, I stayed on it too long and I "plateaued" (got to a point where I was no longer losing on it). This is a great diet for "big eaters" because you'll never be hungry, and you can have all the bacon, eggs, butter, meat, chicken, fish, pork rinds(!), etc. that you want. The one thing it taught me is that, regardless of what diet you are on, SUGAR AND WHITE FLOUR ARE EVIL!!!
(2) Eventually, exercise should enter the picture. I started out VERY modestly with the swimming, but built up to a respectable workout that I could stick with over a three year period (Summer of 1997: swam 1/4 mile 3-4x week, Summer 1998: swam 1/2 mile 3-4x week, Summer 1999: swam 1 mile 3-4x week, Fall 1999 to present: 1 to 1.5 miles 3-4x week).
(3) Find a way of eating that you can stick to that will keep you losing while you need to, then that will maintain you and prevent you from gaining once you've reached your goal. If you think of it as a "diet", then you will feel deprived and it will not work. Guys like you and me must be VIGILANT about our weight - if we drop our guard, the pounds will return! What has worked for me over the last year is a low-fat, low-calorie way of eating - mostly veggies and fruit. Remember, I told you I'm a "big eater" so how am I sticking to this, you may ask? Well, I'm still eating big: MASSIVE salads with all kinds of veggies with non-fat dressing, MASSIVE amounts of steamed veggies for dinner or lunch, and for fruits, the biggest bang for your calorie buck are MELONS (cantaloupes, honeydews, etc.) taste great and are LOW in calorie.
If you consider doing any of this, feel free to e-mail me and I'll give you any advice or help you need.
Finally, even if you don't do any of this, just know that while it may seem that the whole world is superficial, there are many of us out here (myself included) who are not concerned with outward appearances and respect people for what they are. Having been active on this forum for several months and seeing your posts, I don't care if you have a weight problem, I don't care that you're 1/3 my age; I respect you as a knowledgable programmer and a hell of a nice guy!
I feel really cool, here...
I always get invited to parties.
Suck on that.
Sexy Female Ornithologist: What are your favourite birds?
Interested Male: What would you say to twelve finches?
;)
It's obviously my sense of humour.
right back to the point in hand...
I was taught that where i live (UK) treat every driver like they are a complete moron. then you expect everything from them and you end up crashing less. (that is the theory anyway)
But people will always stereotype people because it makes them feel better about themselves. if someone says "god, he's got a fat ass" they are diverting the attention away from there own insecurities. personally, i try not to stereotype. who cares if you are fat. i don't, if someone does they are not worth knowing.
as for the girfriend thing, you can't warm the lonely winter night with your mouse. god dammit man go out and get a woman. 50% of people (roughly) are female, and about 80% of the single ones are available. but if you don't want to then this is the internet, where no one can see your spare tyre.
Re: Like everything, MENTAL DISCIPLINE is the key!
Quote:
Originally posted by Batman
Batman is a bat part-time personal trainner by night and programmer by day. If you want to stay ahead in life, you must feel good about yourself. You need to stay sharper than the average person and physically stronger(including hand to hand combat) under any circumstance.
Dennis, Batman never realised you got a weight issue. Batman will send you my personal 27 page research on building muscles and gainning maximum strength without steroid. Batman have researched this topic since November 1st, 1991 and have bat helped many bat people to change their bat lifes. Batman will teach you the bat proper techniques ranging from breathing, hand and body positionning, NUTRITION, MENTAL PYC and MENTALLY FOCUS, and true DISCIPLINES.
Lets put it this way, after you finish with this bat program in about two bat years, you will be looking like bat gymnist and benching twice your bat body weight without bouncing or needing a bat spotter. Anyone who works out knows benching your body weight is health but benching twice your body weight is super bat healthy.
Wow! You turn me on Batman! A buff programmer like you know hand to hand combat too! Maybe you can practice it on me loverboy! So discipline and metally equipted. What a batorama package!!!
See you tonight for dinner Batman!
Dennis, you need a new possie of friends man
Red Light runners
That really irritates me, doesn't make the driver a bad driver just a dickhead of reasons Gen-X explained.
Weight problem
Get in a room of computer people, and l mean no one is looking terribly good. My Wife has a weight problem, but doesn't affect her personality.
Friends
Ok so l hang out with a lot of computer types.....we could get cast in a horror movie.....they rang from fat to skinny, tall to short, all races.
My Wife's friends are mainly artistic types, and got to tell you they don't look any better than computer types.
Yeap plenty of party invitations etc, Dennis get new friends, it shouldn't matter what you look like too them, if it does then they are very shallow people.
Just my .01 cents worth.
Dennis, accepting yourself comes first....
It's not my fault I'm the coolest kid in school... Okay, maybe I'm not, never was, and never will be; but that doesn't have to be a reason for despair. If you look through-out history their have always been people who have gone against society and managed to live their lives. You should read Come As You Are by Micheal Azzerard it is a biography of Kurt Cobain who managed to live his life completely independent of other peoples' views, opinions, and expectations. Just be happy that you can be yourself and f*&k what everybody else thinks of you, we here (@ VBWorld) know your worth =) As for girls and parties... you are probably looking in the wrong places. If you are trying to fit in with the cool kids then you'll never be happy because you'll never be able to be yourself. Instead just give everyone a chance ('cuz it wouldn't do for you to be prejudice against others) and you will find people who will hang with you. I speak from experience as I have plenty of good friends (none of them have any interest in programming, but that doesn't matter) now. Where as when I was trying to fit in I was depressed, suicidal (got marks), and an alcoholic. Just don't go after the pretty girl/boy (I'm not here to judge), but for the one with a good heart (he\she may have NOTHING to do with computers at all). As for your "wife"... that is not healthy.
First of all, (my mom is a shrink, so I don't speek out of ignorance) it is most likely that you throw yourself into computers to avoid dealing with issues in your life. It is no different than my alcoholism at all, just another manifestation of it. Seek help or counseling (honestly).
Second of all, don't forget what is truly important in life! When you are on your death bed would you rather be reminiscing about the time you drunkenly flashed those cops OR be surrounded by piles of money and "friends" squabling over it and arguing who gets how much... Really, think about. Go out and find people who will not only speak to you, but be there for you. I'd hate for you to be be breaking-down on the bathroom floor with a razor in your hand... been there, not-quite-so-pretty. There are people who are willing to be your friend and give emotional support and wild parties (tho remember, look beyond the surface). If you need proof just look at how people have opened up to you on this thread... You just have to be able to open up in person and look beyond the surface and look into people, and people will do that to you too (some of them anyway). Here is an encouraging anecdote: I, a certifiable geek, have a beautiful girl-friend, and while she just passes her classes and I ace them, we found common ground because, despite the fact that she is one of those "pretty girls", she too is trapped in stereotypes of her own. I am now stable (relatively), and happy; and while I enjoy programming, it is the times I spend with my friends that matter most.
"Computers are a living, NOT a life."
PS A Big "SMACK" to those of you who think/thought that this HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH RED LIGHTS!
PPS I'm not fat, but anorexia saw to that... fine now tho...
To Kat and to all those who've been there (you know who you are) THNX for everything...
