Phone Dialer / Cheeky mods STILL UNRESOLVED

Basically... I trying to create an app which phones my mobile via phone dialer (or other), play a sound file so you can hear it down the phone... then hang up!

How hard can it be??? Very i've found! :(

Anyone know any quick ideas on how I can do it?

The idea is to keep checking our website to see if the servers are running... and if not... call my mobile - play the file which represents the fault then end the call.

Any help would be much appreciated.

Regards,

Paul.

*bump*