Jokes about programming languages

I have heard these two right now, but I'm sure there are more. I heard this one today from a programmer that used to be a friend:

Do you know what the best thing about C++ is? The best thing about C++ is that only your friends can handle your privates.

(For the people that don't get it: C++ has classes. There are public, private, and friend functions. Only friend functions(methods in the class) can alter private variables)

Here's another:

COBOL is a woman's language... Every line ends with a period.

Wierd fact: C is called C because it is a more modern/revised version of the B language. Is there an A? Maybe in a few years, we'll have D?

Post more:

yup there was an A :)

ASSembler? :cool:

Quote:

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Originally posted by Warmaster199
I have heard these two right now, but I'm sure there are more. I heard this one today from a programmer that used to be a friend:

Do you know what the best thing about C++ is? The best thing about C++ is that only your friends can handle your privates.

(For the people that don't get it: C++ has classes. There are public, private, and friend functions. Only friend functions(methods in the class) can alter private variables)

Here's another:

COBOL is a woman's language... Every line ends with a period.

Wierd fact: C is called C because it is a more modern/revised version of the B language. Is there an A? Maybe in a few years, we'll have D?

Post more:

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And There is also a D http://www.digitalmars.com

Here is mine, though its not really a joke, just a good quote =)

Quote:

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"It is practically impossible to teach good programming style to students that have had prior exposure to BASIC; as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration." - Dijkstra

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;)

Z.

Dijkstra.
Cool.

I had to study the dijkstra algorithm for the shortest path last year.
He works in the university of texas I believe

That bastard's still alive? :mad:

I hate him. I really really REALLY hate Dijkstra. :mad: :mad:

He's dead :p Died a couple of months back.

Quote:

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Originally posted by parksie
He's dead :p Died a couple of months back.

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Dood! Beer's on me!

Yeah, sad, sad...

Z.

true.dat

Q: What goes "Pieces of Seven, Pieces of Seven"?
A: Parity Error

apologies if I've already posted this....

:confused:

LOL

:D - funny...

Quote:

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If it wasn't for C, we'd be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL.

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And Mirosoft
And my name was Juan Arlos Rey

A tourist walks into a pet shop in Silicon Valley, and is browsing around the cages on display. While he's there, another customer walks in and says to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C monkey, please". The shopkeeper nods, goes over to a cage at the side of the shop and takes out a monkey. He fits a collar and leash and hands it to the customer, saying "That'll be $5,000". The customer pays and walks out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist goes over to the shopkeeper and says, "That was a very expensive monkey-most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?"
"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that monkey can program in C with very fast, tight code, no bugs, well worth the money." The tourist starts to look at the monkeys in the cage.
He says to the shop keeper, "That one's even more expensive, $10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh", says the shopkeeper, "that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming, Visual C++, even some Java, all the really useful stuff." The tourist looks round for a little longer and sees a third monkey in a cage on its own. The price tag round its neck says $50,000.
He gasps to the shop keeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?"
"Well," says the shopkeeper, "I don't know if it actually does anything, but says it's a Consultant."

The original & best mother of programming jokes is the "shoot yourself in the foot one", has to be...

http://www.stanford.edu/~mmorten/per...-program.shtml

Those became so much more funny for me when I learnt a couple of the languages on there :D