Quick Jokes

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a
cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a
golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q. What is the difference between "ooooooh" and "aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q. What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
A. Well-hung.

Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q. How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 150 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes

Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A: The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance
than improving their minds?
A. Because most men are stupid but few are blind.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch








Seahag

I thought you were going to be taking the piss out of short people; how disappointing

Husband: How about a quickie?
Wife : As opposed to what??!!