debug mode errors!

Hi !
I am implementing somthing very much like the coffemonitor from the msdn example on activeX:
I have a 2 standart EXE, that using a "Connector" dll, are holding a referece to one common DLL.
The idea is that activating a function in one EXE will cause an event to fire, and the other EXE will catch that event and ...
The problem:
When the "connector" dll runs on debug mode - everytinhg seems to work OK. Each EXE get a new "connector" object but they both share the common dll. BUT, when I close VB design mode and then activate the EXE, nothing works! I think that each exe get his own copy of the DLL.
HELP!!!!!!!
what is the diffrence from the Debug Env. to the real one?
any leads?
Thanks
kfir