Active X Exe question

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I'm new at Active X exe's and I've run into a problem. I'm trying to insert an Active X exe "message box" into an existing program, however, I'm not sure how to go about making it "modal", or enabling it to suspend the program while waiting for a response. Of the several solutions I've thought of I've got a couple of questions:

1)Can you manipulate controls (label, textbox) on one of the in-process forms from the Active X exe?

2)How do you detect whether or not an active x exe is running from the calling program?

Any input from someone with experience in this would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.