The Raise

I got this yesterday, it's holerious.....

> > > I, the *****, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
> > > I do physical labour
> > > I work at great depths
> > > I plunge head first into everything I do
> > > I do not get weekends off or public holidays
> > > I work in a damp environment
> > > I don't get paid overtime
> > > I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
> > > I work in high temperatures
> > > My work exposes me to contagious diseases
> > >
> > > Yours truly,
> > > *****
> > >
> > > THE REPLY
> > >
> > > Dear *****,
> > > After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
> > > You do not work 8 hours straight
> > > You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
> > > You do not always follow the orders of the management team
> > > You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
> > > You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated
> > > in order to start working
> > > You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
> > > You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, suchas wearing the correct protective clothing
> > > You'll retire well before reaching 65
> > > You're unable to work double shifts
> > > You sometimes work free-lance outside which is clearly prohibited in your contract
> > > You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work
> > >
> > > And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly enteringand leaving the workplace
> > > carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
> > >
> > > Sincerely,
> > > The Management