Ok - this is resolved.

The SlickGrid - when it put the row back - appears to disconnect the star image from the DOM. The event still fires - as I've shown - but the image is not in the DOM anymore so I cannot poll it for what row and such it is related to.

I did discover that the SlickGrid creation code I was using had an onCellChange event - when that happens I "store" the row and other info in some variables attached to the WINDOW object (some globals as they would be called in other languages).

Code:
function makeGrid(objGrid, sender, objWebParam) {
.
.
.
    wesPanel = $(strPanel);
.
.
.
    g_objGrid[intGO].onCellChange = function(currentRow, currentCell, item) {
        g_lastintGO = intGO;
        g_lastintRow = currentRow;
        g_lastwesPanel = wesPanel;
        toggleButton(true, $("#" + strPanelHeading + " .acs-panel-btn-save"));
        changeCell(currentRow, currentCell, item);
        if (g_objGrid[intGO].formula) {
            try {
                g_objGrid[intGO].formula(currentRow, currentCell, item);
            } catch (e) {
                errorMessage("onCellChange>formula", e);
            } finally {
            }
            this.updateRow(currentRow);
        }
    };
With that said - now if the STAR image is no longer attached to the DOM I know I can rely on those global variables to tell me which row was hot when the star was clicked. If the star is on a row that is not "in a change" moment then that star is attached to the dom and I can poll it for information. The only way the star can be detached is if the current row was "in a change" when the star was clicked...

Code:
function addstarClick(event) {
    if (g_blnInSproc) {
        alert("Processing - please wait!");
    } else {
        g_blnInSproc = true;
        var wesThis = $(this);
        var wesSave = wesThis.closest('.acs-panel-work').find('.acs-panel-btn-save');
        var objWebParam = {};
        var intGO = 0;
        var intRow = 0;
        if (wesSave.length == 0) {
            wesSave = g_lastwesPanel.find('.acs-panel-btn-save');
            objWebParam = g_lastwesPanel.closest('.acs-ddreflector').data('objWebParam');
            intGO = g_lastintGO;
            intRow = g_lastintRow;
        } else {
            objWebParam = wesThis.closest('.acs-ddreflector').data('objWebParam');
            intGO = wesThis.closest('.acs-ddreflector').data('objWebParam').gridoffset;
            intRow = parseInt(wesThis.closest(".slick-row").attr("row"), 10);   // and what row I am on
        }
        p_saveClick(wesSave, { addstar: true, nomsg: true, intGO: intGO, intRow: intRow });
        return false;