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Thread: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

  1. #41
    VBA Nutter visualAd's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by homer13j View Post
    I've never heard of anyone eating porridge outside of Goldilocks and The Three Bears.

    Personally I prefer Krusty Brand® Imitation Gruel.

    4 out of 5 orphans can't tell the difference!
    I eat porridge most mornings; its awesome.

    Avoid anything white; white bread, white pasta, white chocolate, white flour. It has had all the good stuff sucked out of it.
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  2. #42
    Bad man! ident's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Is it a waste of time me expanding?

  3. #43
    Lively Member homer13j's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by ident View Post
    Is it a waste of time me expanding?
    I thought this thread was about JR expanding...
    "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." -Jack Handey

  4. #44
    Super Moderator Shaggy Hiker's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by ident View Post
    Is it a waste of time me expanding?
    Yeah, probably. Though, considering the topic, I'd say it's more of a waist in time that is expanding.
    My usual boring signature: Nothing

  5. #45
    VBA Nutter visualAd's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by homer13j View Post
    I thought this thread was about JR expanding...
    Don't you mean contracting?
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  6. #46

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    Android OpenGL ES Guru Jacob Roman's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Your mom is expanding

  7. #47
    Bad man! ident's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    That was a waste of time

  8. #48

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    Android OpenGL ES Guru Jacob Roman's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Greeeeeat, 13 days before i get married and her dog takes a royal piss all over my $2200 bed...

  9. #49
    Bad man! ident's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Maybe you should of wished real hard when wanting a magic cure

  10. #50

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    Android OpenGL ES Guru Jacob Roman's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    ...aaaaand my right headlight goes out on my car. I sense foreshadowing.

  11. #51
    Super Moderator Shaggy Hiker's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Just wait for the plague of locusts.
    My usual boring signature: Nothing

  12. #52
    VBA Nutter visualAd's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Instant weight loss tips (all achievable in less than 1 hour):

    • Weigh yourself, then get naked and weigh yourself again (2kg)
    • Weigh yourself, then do a poo, then weigh yourself again (0.5-1kg)
    • Weigh yourself, then do a wee, then weigh yourself again (0.1-0.5kg)
    • Chop off one leg (10-20kg)
    • Have your colon removed (1-2kg)
    • Have your colon cleansed (not required if you have it removed) (up to 9kg but debatable, best results if you are constipated)
    • Donate a kidney (0.1-0.2kg)
    • Shave your head (0.2kg)
    • Shave everything else (up to 0.5kg)
    • Genital mutilation (up to 5kg dependant on original size)
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  13. #53
    Super Moderator Shaggy Hiker's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    You can't JUST chop off a leg, though. You might as well chop off an arm at the same time, because either way it's going to cost you an arm and a leg.
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  14. #54

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    Android OpenGL ES Guru Jacob Roman's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Oooooor, how bout I run, and run, and run, take a big dump, hit the sauna for an hour, eat tiny meals, sleep, and repeat. Im guaranteed to lose 50 lbs in a month.

  15. #55
    Super Moderator FunkyDexter's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    I lost £50 just last week. It was very annoying.
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  16. #56
    Lively Member homer13j's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Well, I've lost my equilibrium, my car keys and my pride...

    // +1 interwebz if you know the next line
    "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." -Jack Handey

  17. #57
    VBA Nutter visualAd's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Why don't you postpone the wedding?
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