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Thread: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

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    Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    I need to lose at least 25 lbs in one month, maybe even 30. I have been trying really hard by avoiding bread, junk food, fast food, donuts, rice, fatty foods that contain way too many calories, and potatoes. Basically anything that dieters should avoid, I am.

    Now heres the problem. Theres too much information out there on what I should eat, and too much misinformation on what I should eat. For example, theres an article on Frutarians, where 75% of their diet is strictly fruit, and the rest is vegatables and nuts (for protein). But this diet is dangerous as it put Ashton Kutcher in the hostiptal because it was bad on his pancreas. Probably explains why Steve Jobs ended up with pancreatic cancer. But the article claims Ashton ate the wrong foods to support the frutarian diet. Another thing is that fruits naturally carry sugars that will make my body dependent on that for fuel, thus making me fat (although the article claims its excellent for weightloss.)

    Going strictly vegetarian is also bad because I will be lacking the protein needed in my diet, as well as calcium and other nutrients my body needs. Who knows how my body will react.

    Starving myself is another option by eating as little food as possible. But this also is bad because its bad for my metabolism, thus I will literally become the "You are what you eat" guy and gain weight no matter what I will eat.

    Eating 6-7 meals a day is another option to boost my metabolism and lose weight, but will defeat the purpose of counting calories as I will literally be consuming lots of calories. Even if my meal was only 500 calories, times that by 6-7 would mean 3000-3500 calories a day, thus possibly making me fat. Its also goes waaay beyond my food budget.

    Laxatives is another option, but the fear of getting a painful hemorrhoid again is what is stopping me.

    Drinking a ton of water will only add on extra water weight.

    So I don't know what to do. I still have my LA Fitness gym membership at least, but finding the time to go to the gym is a hassle with my crazy schedule. How could I lose one pound a day?

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    Super Moderator Shaggy Hiker's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob Roman View Post
    For example, theres an article on Frutarians, where 75% of their diet is strictly fruit, and the rest is vegatables and nuts (for protein). But this diet is dangerous as it put Ashton Kutcher in the hostiptal because it was bad on his pancreas. Probably explains why Steve Jobs ended up with pancreatic cancer.
    So...Jobs ate too many apples? He was only taking one bite out of each one.
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    Super Moderator Shaggy Hiker's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    By the way, if you can really solve this one, you'd have a whole new career ahead of you.

    The only way I can do it is by leaving myself ravenously hungry at the end of each day, or by doing extensive exercise (by which I mean hours a day). I biked 1000 miles of hilly terrain in a month, and only lost about five pounds. Had I combined that biking with greatly reduced calories, I would have lost more weight, but would have been pretty weak.

    Still, I believe that the only way to lose that amount of weight is by radically increasing your level of activity. That's terribly difficult for most of us.
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob Roman View Post
    I need to lose at least 25 lbs in one month, maybe even 30.
    Liposuction and/or Gastric Bypass surgery.

    It took me more than nine months to lose 30 lbs using diet & exercise, but I did lose 20 in the first five.
    "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." -Jack Handey

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    Super Moderator dday9's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    I downloaded the MyFitnessPal app and started counting my calories. I followed the recommended caloric intake for each day that they recommended. It's week 3 and I've lost 12 pounds. The best part is that I haven't REALLY changed my diet.

    I love my wife's Cajun cooking, I just take less of it in now. The only thing that I've really changed is that I only eat a banana and drink a water for breakfast and I'm drinking much less cokes as those are what I call calorie wasters.

    I've also trained my stomach to go longer without stuffing my face. The hardest period was between lunch and supper and then from 10PM to sleep.

    Really if you want to lose weight in a healthy manner it takes a while, otherwise crack seems to work on most people.

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    Super Moderator Shaggy Hiker's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    I was going to suggest tapeworms, but they don't actually work, so I was going to suggest them just so that JR could poop worms.

    Tapeworm eggs were sold as a weight loss method sometime in the past (the 60s comes to mind, though I'm not sure and don't care to look it up). Interestingly, even though you are then eating for two (or two dozen), my understanding is that you don't tend to lose weight. Those worms just aren't active enough to burn through a lot of extra calories.
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Well if you're doing it to just lose the weight on a scale you could use a sauna to sweat off the water weight, but I think you're referring to losing fat. 25 lbs is a lot for one month. You could maybe do it eating small side salads and exercising excessively but it's probably not healthy. It's all calories in vs calories burned.

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    Super Moderator Shaggy Hiker's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Losing that much in water weight would be dangerous or deadly for most people. You can lose a bunch, but that's over three gallons of water weight. I don't think you can afford it.
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by Shaggy Hiker View Post
    Losing that much in water weight would be dangerous or deadly for most people. You can lose a bunch, but that's over three gallons of water weight. I don't think you can afford it.
    I should have clarified, he could sauna just before the wedding for maybe 5-10lbs. After eating a deficit and exercising he could be close. But he stated that he doesn't want to work out so while the outlook on his request is bleak I hope he figures it out.

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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    I think I'm gonna need to blend all the factors and see what happens. So diet wise I'm gonna eat literally all light snacks with at least one or two meals a day, blending mostly fruits and vegetables for the snacks, and for meals, vegetables combined with a protein source such as chicken, steak, or fish. So having 5 small light snacks and one or two meals, I'll get hungry faster. I need to get use to feeling hungry all the time. And when my body caves in, I'll eat my snacks. Like maybe an apple, or a banana, carrot sticks, maybe even some avocado slices.

    And since my time is very short during the day, finding time to exercise is a pain. So I'm gonna try to hit the gym at least twice a week and burn exactly 800 calories and hit the sauna afterwards. Its all I have time for since I work literally everyday and goto school 3 times a week. I don't know if this is going to work, but planning my wedding in between is a royal pain. So I'll leave most of the decisions to my soon to be wife.

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    Super Moderator FunkyDexter's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    So I'll leave most of the decisions to my soon to be wife.
    You do know that's not a temporary situation don't you? It carries on after the wedding too.

    As for losing the weight, send me all your cakes. I'll take care of that bit for you.
    You can depend upon the Americans to do the right thing. But only after they have exhausted every other possibility - Winston Churchill

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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by FunkyDexter View Post
    You do know that's not a temporary situation don't you? It carries on after the wedding too.

    As for losing the weight, send me all your cakes. I'll take care of that bit for you.
    Shes in charge of the smaller decisions and he is in charge of the larger decisions, only, there are no larger decisions.

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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Yeah there is.

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    Super Moderator FunkyDexter's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Yeah, but she gets to decide which are large and which are small. They're all small.
    You can depend upon the Americans to do the right thing. But only after they have exhausted every other possibility - Winston Churchill

    Hadoop actually sounds more like the way they greet each other in Yorkshire - Inferrd

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    VBA Nutter visualAd's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    There is only one way to lose weight.

    A cheese grater
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    VBA Nutter visualAd's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    On a more serious note I shed 11kg from riding 18 miles a day return to work and eating a light lunch.
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    WiggleWiggle dclamp's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by visualAd View Post
    On a more serious note I shed 11kg from riding 18 miles a day return to work and eating a light lunch.
    You're not allowed to use two different systems in one sentence. Pick either metric or imperial.

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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    I don't know why but whatever I'm doing is working. Problem is I keep pooping a lot

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    Super Moderator dday9's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Laxatives?

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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by dday9 View Post
    Laxatives?
    Yeah I refrained even though I recall how Francine Smith (American Dad!) kept her figure. Part of it was lunches of iced tea and laxatives. The episode was Shallow Vows.

    You don't know what it takes for me to look good.

    After you leave for work, I do the treadmill until I throw up.

    Then I go to my hairdresser where I get my roots touched up, followed by a lunch of iced tea and laxatives.

    Then I wax my arms, legs, and eyebrows, while power lifting the couch to tone the fanny you love so much.

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    Super Moderator dday9's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by dilettante View Post
    Yeah I refrained even though I recall how Francine Smith (American Dad!) kept her figure. Part of it was lunches of iced tea and laxatives. The episode was Shallow Vows.
    Stan: That's the reason I married her.
    Francine: Well, that's not the only reason.
    Stan: Yes, it is.
    Francine: There was nothing else?
    Stan: Nope.

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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Nope no laxatives at all. Just from eating.

  23. #23
    WiggleWiggle dclamp's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    I have a dull pocket knife. I could cut some of the fat away

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    Software Carpenter dee-u's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Why lose weight now if you are just going to gain it again in a while?
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Because I am meant to be thin

  26. #26
    VBA Nutter visualAd's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob Roman View Post
    Because I am meant to be thin
    So less than 300lbs?

    Have you thought about reducing your mass by countering the Higgs field?
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    I'm actually 215

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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Your whole post screams "i have been reading too much garbage from the internet". You are correct there is so much crap about it can leave you confused. I will contradict myself a few times in this post.

    To lose 25lb in a month...Not going to happen. I once lost 22lb in 12 days(see what i mean?) But i have been training for 15 years and used "extras" after years of studying. I wont help you go down this route but the training drug we use has only recently been made popular by recent stupid media outlets. Do you not ever get bored with women posting on FB "lost 7lb this week..." Guess what. They didn't. To loose a solid 2lb of fat a week is a big task. There are other factors to take into consideration. Water retention & turning the body into a catabolic state. I will get to this later.

    1) Ignore these diets(only fruits etc), diets only lead to starvation and failure. You should never be dieting, simply changing your nutritional intake.
    2) Drinking plenty of water is perfectly fine. If you feel a tiny bit thirsty your body is dehydrated. You should try to drink 6/7 ounce per pound of body weight. If your water level decreases so will your gym performance.
    3)If you do not have the correct supportive eating you are wasting your time in the gym. AB'S are made in the kitchen.
    4) Starving is not an option. In actual fact it will have a negative effect. Keep Metabolism Steady!!!!! Eating one small meal every three hours that you are awake will not speed up your metabolism, rather, it will keep it going which is something I cannot stress enough.
    5) Cardio will decrease weight loss!!!!


    Ok let’s move onto a sensible diet in the next post…..

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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Protein?
    The food people associate with gaining muscle. Guess what? It does so much more then that. Just by simply eating protein you are creating thermic effect in the body. That simply means you are burning calories just by eating food. 20% of the cals in protein are used just breaking down the protein into small amino acids. This in turn boosts your metabolism.
    Protein is essential for preserving and repairing muscle tissue. The more muscle you have the greater your metabolism is. Protein is MASSIVELY important regarding hormones and enzymes.
    PROTEIN DOES NOT SPIKE SUGAR LEVELS. If your levels are steady the more your body can release for fat utilization for energy.



    Fiber?
    Fiber absorbs water making you feel fuller for longer. Insoluble fiber will help move food faster through your system which in turn helps prevent diseases. About 30grams should be consumed each day.

    Fat?
    Healthy fats are just as important. Nuts, seeds olive oil and so on. Depleting your body of such items will lead to cravings and have a massive negative effect on your hormone levels.

    Training advice follows tomorrow

  30. #30
    Bad man! ident's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    I forgot to add regarding FB status of 7lb etc

    When you decided to lose weight your body goes into a catabolic state. The easiest thing it can break down for a source of energy is sugars stored in your body. These are normally suspended in water so when you go on a diet you start pissing a fair bit for the first few weeks as the body uses up this stored sugar - which also explains why people can lose large amounts of weight in the first few weeks of a diet - the bad news is it isnt fat - its just water weight.

  31. #31
    Super Moderator Shaggy Hiker's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    What kinds of proteins are you talking about?

    Frankly, I find that the biggest impediment to healthy living is the office. When I telecommute I can eat better and exercise more, but when I'm in the office....I don't do squat! A morning workout before I show up, but my food options are reduced and exercise is...reduced.

    Aside from that, I'm interested in seeing the next segment in this series.
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Does that mean I belong in an office?

  33. #33
    Bad man! ident's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by Shaggy Hiker View Post
    What kinds of proteins are you talking about?

    .......

    Aside from that, I'm interested in seeing the next segment in this series.
    I don't want to start venturing into the scientific side of protein types other then if you are looking for a supplement you can not go wrong with whey WITH a meal. No shake should ever replace a meal.

    If we want to discuss decent sources of high quality lean protein take these few items broken into category's. The list is by no means complete.


    1. Lean Skinless Chicken, Turkey both white meat
    2. Hard boiled white egg omelette
    3. Lean Pork, Beef
    4. Soy



    1. Tuna
    2. Wild Salmon
    3. Sardines
    4. Sword Fish



    1. Skim Milk
    2. Fat free cottage cheese
    3. Quark
    4. Whey


    I will expand on my earlier post later today.

  34. #34
    Bad man! ident's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    When i trained seriously i had my own nutritionist working along side me for each 12/16 week course. Here is an example of my daily plan.



  35. #35
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    I get all my protein from doughnuts.
    You can depend upon the Americans to do the right thing. But only after they have exhausted every other possibility - Winston Churchill

    Hadoop actually sounds more like the way they greet each other in Yorkshire - Inferrd

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    Lively Member homer13j's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by ident View Post
    I've never heard of anyone eating porridge outside of Goldilocks and The Three Bears.

    Personally I prefer Krusty Brand® Imitation Gruel.

    4 out of 5 orphans can't tell the difference!
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  37. #37
    Super Moderator FunkyDexter's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    I've never heard of anyone eating porridge outside of Goldilocks and The Three Bears
    Visit Scotland. They're pretty much drowning in the stuff.
    You can depend upon the Americans to do the right thing. But only after they have exhausted every other possibility - Winston Churchill

    Hadoop actually sounds more like the way they greet each other in Yorkshire - Inferrd

  38. #38

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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by FunkyDexter
    I get all my protein from doughnuts.
    Mmmmmm....doughnuts :P

    Quote Originally Posted by FunkyDexter View Post
    Visit Scotland. They're pretty much drowning in the stuff.
    I thought they were drowning themselves in Irish Whiskey

  39. #39
    Lively Member homer13j's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jacob Roman View Post
    Mmmmmm....doughnuts :P



    I thought they were drowning themselves in Irish Whiskey
    That's Scotch Whiskey. Because Scotland.
    "I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it." -Jack Handey

  40. #40
    Super Moderator FunkyDexter's Avatar
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    Re: Help JR Lose Weight For The Wedding!

    I thought they were drowning themselves in Irish Whiskey
    Statements like that'll get ye stabbed in Glasgee
    You can depend upon the Americans to do the right thing. But only after they have exhausted every other possibility - Winston Churchill

    Hadoop actually sounds more like the way they greet each other in Yorkshire - Inferrd

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