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Thread: Post Race!

  1. #2401
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    please

  2. #2402
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    HELP

  3. #2403
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    me?????????????????????????

  4. #2404
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    Where

  5. #2405
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    is

  6. #2406
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    Parksie?????

  7. #2407
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    'TWAS THE MONTH AFTER CHRISTMAS

    'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
    Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
    The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
    at the holiday parties, had gone to my waist.
    When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
    When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

    I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
    The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare,
    The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
    And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."

    As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
    And prepared once again to do battle with dirt
    I said to myself, as only I can
    "You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

    So-away with the last of the sour cream dip,
    Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
    Eve! ry last bit of food that I like must be banished "
    Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

    I won't have a cookie-not even a lick.
    I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
    I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
    I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

    I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore--
    But isn't that what January is for?
    Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
    Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

  8. #2408
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    Wherever you go...there you are!

  9. #2409
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    I'm here...will think of something shortly
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  10. #2410
    Guest
    Katie --

    Will you get a life?

  11. #2411
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    Not while we're not up to 3000 posts...

    ...and neither will I!
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  12. #2412
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    ELETELEPHONY
    once there was an elephant
    who tried to be a telephant;
    no no, I mean an elephone
    who tried to be a telephone.
    (Dear me I am not certain quite
    that even now i've got it right)
    how e'r it was he got his trunk
    entangled in the telephunk
    the more he tried to get it free,
    the louder buzzed the telephee.
    (i fear i'd better quit this song
    of elehop and telephong.)

  13. #2413
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    Smile DerFarm???

    I do have a life....just no work this week. Besides, I'm on a mission!!!!!!!!!

  14. #2414
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    Cheer Up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  15. #2415
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    When a girl admits she's had a checkered career, it's your move.
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  16. #2416
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    mosquito, n.:
    The state bird of New Jersey.
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  17. #2417
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    A Catholic and a Methodist were carpooling to work one morning, when a brick
    fell out of the sky, which startled the driver and caused him to swerve off
    the road and into a telephone pole, totaling the car.
    The two stumbled out of the wreckage, both feeling quite fortunate
    to be alive. The Catholic crossed himself. Then the Protestant crossed
    himself in an accentuated manner.
    "Hey," said the Catholic, "I why did you cross yourself, you're not
    Catholic!"
    "Just checking," replied his friend, crossing himself again,
    "spectacles, testicles, wallet, pen."
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  18. #2418
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    Despising machines to a man,
    The Luddites joined up with the Klan,
    And ride out by night
    In a sheeting of white
    To lynch all the robots they can.
    -- C. M. and G. A. Maxson
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  19. #2419
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    Snow White:
    "Gee guys, I've always dreamed of getting ten inches...
    but not an inch-and-a-half at a time!
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  20. #2420
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in
    the same room and let them fight it out.
    -- Steven Wright
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  21. #2421
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    I've only had one user logged on all week and yet I have to sit here!!!

    Bored, I'm soooooo bored!!!!!!!

  22. #2422
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    I liked the snow white one!

  23. #2423
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    Which user? What logon?
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  24. #2424
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    I'm at work...don't ask me why....they say to support the users....but I'm the only here...who needs my support...my family sure could but instead I sit here and wait for someone to logon....as if anyone would have problems with our superior application anyway!! Stupid, just stupid!

  25. #2425
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    Hey...another page down!! How many more to go??

  26. #2426
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    BTW...what's Grolsh?

  27. #2427
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"

    "What is it? her sisters asked eagerly.


    Proudly she replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"


  28. #2428
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    Exactly 10 pages (minus about 4 posts!) to go.

    Grolsch is a sort of lager beer...it's brewed longer, for a fuller taste
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  29. #2429
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    System Update - A quick method of trashing ALL of your software

  30. #2430
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    Wethern's Law:
    Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  31. #2431
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    Originally posted by parksie
    Grolsch is a sort of lager beer...it's brewed longer, for a fuller taste
    I could use one of those about now!


  32. #2432
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    Power User - Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

  33. #2433
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    The major difference between bonds and bond traders is that the bonds will
    eventually mature.
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  34. #2434
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    Disk Crash - A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

  35. #2435
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    Floppy - The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer

  36. #2436
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    Mouse - An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

  37. #2437
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    Joe sat as his dying wife's bedside.
    Her voice was little more than a whisper.
    "Joe, darling," she breathed, "I've got a confession to make
    before I go. I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe...
    I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Charles. And it was I who
    forced your mistress to leave the city. And I am the one who reported
    your income-tax evasion to the I.R.S..."
    "That's all right, dearest, don't give it a second thought,"
    whispered Joe. "I'm the one who poisoned you."
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  38. #2438
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
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    Keyboard - The standard way to generate computer errors.

  39. #2439
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    GUI - What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.

  40. #2440
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    Syntax Error - Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."

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