dcsimg
Page 58 of 1605 FirstFirst ... 84855565758596061681081585581058 ... LastLast
Results 2,281 to 2,320 of 64162

Thread: Post Race!

  1. #2281
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?
    The doorbell shrieks!

  2. #2282
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    Why can't a gorilla play trumpet?
    He's too sensitive.

  3. #2283
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    What do trumpet players use for birth control?
    Their personalities.

  4. #2284
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    Originally posted by barrk
    How man trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
    None, because the world revloves around them!
    Too true! (*parksie gets his trumpet out... *)
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  5. #2285
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a trumpet player when I grow up?"
    "But Johnny, you can't do both."

  6. #2286
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    LET Jesus be YOUR anchor!

    So when Satan rocks your boat, THROW Jesus overboard!
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  7. #2287
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    What would a trumpet player do if he won a million dollars?
    Continue to play gigs until the money ran out.

  8. #2288
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it.

  9. #2289
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To get away from the trumpet players.

  10. #2290
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    How do you improve the aerodynamics of a trumpeter's car?
    Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.

  11. #2291
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    What do you call a lead trumpet player with half a brain?
    Gifted.

  12. #2292
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    What's the first thing a trumpet player says at work?
    "Would you like fries with that?"

  13. #2293
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Five. One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how Louie Armstrong would have done it.

  14. #2294
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    I played the trumpet in orchestra all through school. My teacher used to bag on us constantly....I don't remember any more. I'll just have to switch to drummers now.

  15. #2295
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
    Put a sheet of music in front of him.

  16. #2296
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
    A drummer.

  17. #2297
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    Why is it good that drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
    So they don't disgrace themselves in parades.

  18. #2298
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. They have a machine that does that now.

  19. #2299
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    I basically have to because I'm the best in the school. Also, I'm the only trumpeter that bothers to turn up . However, I'm also pretty bad...which shows the average standard at my school

    I have played at some weddings and stuff, so got some handy cash for that
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  20. #2300
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    There was a young lady of Natchez
    Who chanced to be born with two snatches,
    And she often said, "****!
    Why, I'd give either tit
    For a man with equipment that matches."

    There was a young fellow named Locke
    Who was born with a two-headed cock.
    When he'd fondle the thing
    It would rise up and sing
    An antiphonal chorus by Bach.

    But whether these two ever met
    Has not been recorded as yet,
    Still, it would be diverting
    To see him inserting
    His whang while it sang a duet.
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  21. #2301
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
    The knock always speeds up.

  22. #2302
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    I got a mandolin for Christmas from my husband...I'm pretty bad at it but I'm having fun.....Music is truly the second best thing on earth!

  23. #2303
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?
    Yeah, it took two hours to get the drummer out.

  24. #2304
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    Originally posted by barrk
    I got a mandolin for Christmas from my husband...I'm pretty bad at it but I'm having fun.....Music is truly the second best thing on earth!
    I heard. So what's the best thing on earth?

    Oh wait...I realised...
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  25. #2305
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274

    Wink

    hehehe!

  26. #2306
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    12 pages to go!
    QOTD:
    I get girls because of who I am... a rapist.
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  27. #2307
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    happiness, n.:
    Finding the owner of a lost bikini.
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  28. #2308
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
    -- Quentin Crisp
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  29. #2309
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    The road to hell is paved with good intentions. And littered with
    sloppy analysis!
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  30. #2310
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    There was a young fellow of Kent
    Whose ***** was so long that it bent,
    So to save himself trouble
    He put it in double,
    And instead of coming he went.
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  31. #2311
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    We

  32. #2312
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    What do you give a man who has everything? Penicillin.
    -- Jerry Lester
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  33. #2313
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    are

  34. #2314
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    All extremists should be taken out and shot.
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  35. #2315
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    going

  36. #2316
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Mashin' on the motorway
    Posts
    8,169
    Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
    -- Milton Friedman
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  37. #2317
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    to

  38. #2318
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    make

  39. #2319
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    3000

  40. #2320
    Hyperactive Member barrk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2000
    Location
    My own little world
    Posts
    274
    yet!!!!!!!!!

Page 58 of 1605 FirstFirst ... 84855565758596061681081585581058 ... LastLast

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  



Featured


Click Here to Expand Forum to Full Width