Embarresing moments

[venerable bede]

A radio station in Australia recently ran a phone-in competition to find the most embaressing moments in peoples lives. These are the top 4

4th Place
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was
finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start
behaving herself right now, she would be punished. To my horror,
she looked me in the eye and said a voice just as threatening,
'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's Willie last night!' The silence was deafening, after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing that I heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter.

[venerable bede]

3rd Place

It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled 'SURPRISE' My entire family...aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my friends were standing there!
My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot in a state of shock and Embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then,
no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

[venerable bede]

2nd Place

A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she
finally got up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checkout chick got on the public address system and boomed out for the entire store to hear 'Price check on lane TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE.' That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'TAMPAX' for 'THUMBTACKS' in a very business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the public address system:'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER?'

[venerable bede]

1st place. And the winner is :

This one happened at a major Australian University in October
last year in a biology lecture, a professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female, raised her hand and asked, 'If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in the male semen as in sugar?' 'That's correct.' responded the professor, going on to add some statistical data. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, 'Then why doesn't it taste sweet?' After a stunned silence,the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl turned bright red and as she
realised exactly what she had inadvertently said, she picked up
her books, and without a word walked out of the class,and never returned.
However, as she was going out of the door, The professor's reply
was a classic. Totally straight faced, he answered her question.'IT
DOESN'T TASTE SWEET BECAUSE THE TASTE-BUDS FOR SWEETNESS ARE ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE AND NOT IN THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT.'

[mendhak]

[In Melbourne, Fl. one of the radio stations paid money ($100-$500) for people to tell their most embarrassing stories. This one netted the winner]

I was due later that week for an appointment with the gynaecologist when early one morning I received a call from his office: I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9:30am. I had just packed everyone off to work and school and it was around 8:45 already.

The trip to his office usually took about 35 minutes so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I'm sure, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth and gave myself a wash in "that area" in front of the sink, taking extra care to make sure that I was presentable.

I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when he called me in. Knowing the procedure, as I am sure you all do,I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended I was in Hawaii or some other place a million miles away from here.

I was a little surprised when he said: "My...we have taken a little extra effort this morning, haven't we?", but I didn't respond. The appointment over, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.

The rest of the day went normal, some shopping, cleaning and the evening meal, etc.

At 8:30 that evening my 14 year old daughter was fixing to go to a school dance, when she called down from the bathroom, "Mom - where's my washcloth?"

I called back for her to get another from the cabinet.

She called back, "No - I need the one that was here by the sink. It had all my glitter and sparkle"

[Acidic]

Fanstastic.
Ive heard second place before. And 1st place tought me something new.

Absolutely amazing though.

[BodwadUK]