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  1. #1

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    Fanatic Member Alien_poo's Avatar
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    How to get your GF to swallow

    .
    "A RESPECTED scientist has put forward the stunning - if unsavoury - possibility that humans are descended from sewage dumped overboard by aliens."
    "First we read that we are the creation of God, then scientists say we are descended from apes. Now they say we're some sort of alien poo. How much further can we sink?"
    - Robert Matthews, Science Correspondent

  2. #2
    Junior Member -_MAD-HATTAH_-'s Avatar
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    flat out...lmfao
    -_MAD-HATTAH_-

  3. #3
    Hyperactive Member Blinky Bill's Avatar
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    Tell her its cleaner that way. . . .
    We don't know what's wrong. . . So the best bet might be to remove something surgically.

  4. #4
    Addicted Member Sheppe's Avatar
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    If she wants to take a mouthful and go spit it in the toilet or something, let her do it that way; it don't matter much if she swallows then (unless ya like it or something). If she just lets ya squirt all over the place then make sure you aim at her face.
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  5. #5
    Hyperactive Member Blinky Bill's Avatar
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    good thinkin sheppe
    We don't know what's wrong. . . So the best bet might be to remove something surgically.

  6. #6
    The Devil crptcblade's Avatar
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    Ahh, there's that high quality posting that's gone missing around here...
    Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you just water down your vodka.


    Take credit, not responsibility

  7. #7
    Hyperactive Member Blinky Bill's Avatar
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    I just realised that a piece of extra terrestrial faeces is asking advice on the desposal of ejaculate. How sick is that?
    We don't know what's wrong. . . So the best bet might be to remove something surgically.

  8. #8
    Junior Member -_MAD-HATTAH_-'s Avatar
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    try and shoot it so far down her throat it in-pregnates her! Muhahaha!
    Last edited by -_MAD-HATTAH_-; Nov 18th, 2002 at 10:02 PM.
    -_MAD-HATTAH_-

  9. #9
    Hyperactive Member Blinky Bill's Avatar
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    Originally posted by -_MAD-HATTAH_-
    try and shoot it so far down her throat it in-oregnates her! Muhahaha!
    Someone doesn't understand basic biology methinks. . . . Everyone knows that you have to shoot in her belly button to do that
    We don't know what's wrong. . . So the best bet might be to remove something surgically.

  10. #10
    PowerPoster Nightwalker83's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Blinky Bill
    I just realised that a piece of extra terrestrial faeces is asking advice on the desposal of ejaculate. How sick is that?
    Yes Alien **** should be ashamed of himself
    when you quote a post could you please do it via the "Reply With Quote" button or if it multiple post click the "''+" button then "Reply With Quote" button.
    If this thread is finished with please mark it "Resolved" by selecting "Mark thread resolved" from the "Thread tools" drop-down menu.
    https://get.cryptobrowser.site/30/4111672

  11. #11
    Hyperactive Member Blinky Bill's Avatar
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    i was thinking more about what form faeces ejaculate takes. . . .
    We don't know what's wrong. . . So the best bet might be to remove something surgically.

  12. #12
    PowerPoster Nightwalker83's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Blinky Bill
    i was thinking more about what form faeces ejaculate takes. . . .
    when you quote a post could you please do it via the "Reply With Quote" button or if it multiple post click the "''+" button then "Reply With Quote" button.
    If this thread is finished with please mark it "Resolved" by selecting "Mark thread resolved" from the "Thread tools" drop-down menu.
    https://get.cryptobrowser.site/30/4111672

  13. #13
    Junior Member -_MAD-HATTAH_-'s Avatar
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    i was thinking more about what form faeces ejaculate takes. . . .
    ROFL. HAHAHA This is sick...Guys talking about ejaculate....Disgusting. But humerous!
    -_MAD-HATTAH_-

  14. #14

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    Fanatic Member Alien_poo's Avatar
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    Originally posted by crptcblade
    Ahh, there's that high quality posting that's gone missing around here...


    Posted this 30min ago and already 50 views, 12 replies

    and why would I NOT be allowed to know about sperm disposal on earth?
    "A RESPECTED scientist has put forward the stunning - if unsavoury - possibility that humans are descended from sewage dumped overboard by aliens."
    "First we read that we are the creation of God, then scientists say we are descended from apes. Now they say we're some sort of alien poo. How much further can we sink?"
    - Robert Matthews, Science Correspondent

  15. #15
    Stuck in the 80s The Hobo's Avatar
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    Easy. Tell her protein slows the outer aging process. Then tell her you're packing a whole lotta protein and give her a wink.
    My evil laugh has a squeak in it.

    kristopherwilson.com

  16. #16
    So Unbanned DiGiTaIErRoR's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Blinky Bill
    Someone doesn't understand basic biology methinks. . . . Everyone knows that you have to shoot in her belly button to do that
    I had a g/f who thought her belly button was a vent for her stomach.


  17. #17
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    On the subject of which

    A bloke and his best man are standing waiting in the church. The grooms got this huge grin, and the b/m asks him why. He replies that he knows it is bad luck to see the bride on the morning before the wedding, but he couldn't help himself, she's so gorgeous, and so he popped round to her place and she gave him the most amazing bj ever. He reckons this is the start of a marraige made in heaven.

    A few mins later, the bride and the bridesmaid arrive. The bride's also smiling from ear2ear. Bridesmaid asks why? She says that the groom popped round that morning, and she's just given her last ever bj!

  18. #18
    So Unbanned DiGiTaIErRoR's Avatar
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    Use my dick, they swallow everytime.

    Honest.

  19. #19
    Banned Michael_Kamen's Avatar
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    Should'nt you just say it to her?

    Swallow, *****!

  20. #20
    Junior Member -_MAD-HATTAH_-'s Avatar
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    Tell her to strap on some knee pads and start appologizin'!
    -_MAD-HATTAH_-

  21. #21
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    haha.. this is an easy one... just tell her not to swallow.. and if she is naughty enuff, she will... and if she aint naughty... then u are sleeping with the wrong girl
    OrdinaryGuy

  22. #22
    Banished Cander's Avatar
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    So this woman works in a sperm bank...

    One day a man in a ski mask with a gun walks in and points the gun at her head and says' Pick up that bottle, and drink down that specimen'. She says 'WHAT?!'. The gunman says 'I said I want you to pick up that bottle and drink down that specimen, or I will blow your brains out!'. So she picks up the bottle, and drinks down the specimen. The gunman then takes off his ski mask, and it is her husband. He says 'See...that wasnt so bad was it?'
    Stack Overflow
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  23. #23
    Banned Michael_Kamen's Avatar
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    Lol

  24. #24
    Hyperactive Member Blinky Bill's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Cander
    So this woman works in a sperm bank...

    One day a man in a ski mask with a gun walks in and points the gun at her head and says' Pick up that bottle, and drink down that specimen'. She says 'WHAT?!'. The gunman says 'I said I want you to pick up that bottle and drink down that specimen, or I will blow your brains out!'. So she picks up the bottle, and drinks down the specimen. The gunman then takes off his ski mask, and it is her husband. He says 'See...that wasnt so bad was it?'
    We don't know what's wrong. . . So the best bet might be to remove something surgically.

  25. #25
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  26. #26
    Lively Member H-Zence's Avatar
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    Well this is disgusting.
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  27. #27

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    Fanatic Member Alien_poo's Avatar
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    I like it
    "A RESPECTED scientist has put forward the stunning - if unsavoury - possibility that humans are descended from sewage dumped overboard by aliens."
    "First we read that we are the creation of God, then scientists say we are descended from apes. Now they say we're some sort of alien poo. How much further can we sink?"
    - Robert Matthews, Science Correspondent

  28. #28
    Lively Member SmashX's Avatar
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    just use the code:

    VB Code:
    1. if user.load = blowing then
    2. lblcommand.caption = "swallow B**ch!"
    3. end if

  29. #29
    Fanatic Member Wen Lie's Avatar
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    can VB ejaculate ?

    hahahaha....

  30. #30
    So Unbanned DiGiTaIErRoR's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Wen Lie
    can VB ejaculate ?

    hahahaha....

    Yes... It can.

    VB Code:
    1. Private Enum TGender
    2. Male = 1
    3. Female = 2
    4. End Enum
    5.  
    6. Private Type Person
    7. Name As String
    8. Gender As TGender
    9. Age As Long
    10. BustSize As Double
    11. End Type
    12.  
    13. Private Person(1) As Person
    14.  
    15. Private Function Spooge(PersonSrc As Person, ByVal TargDist As Long, PersonDest As Person, ByVal SpermLimit As Long, ByVal PenisLength As Integer)
    16. If PersonSrc.Name <> PersonDest.Name Then
    17.     If PenisLength < 1 Or SpermLimit < 1 Then
    18.         Spooge = "Error: 0 - Insufficent Resources"
    19.         Exit Function
    20.     End If
    21.     If TargetDist - PenisLength > 3 Then
    22.         Spooge = "Error: 1 - Target too far away"
    23.         Exit Function
    24.     End If
    25.     If Rnd * TargetDist - SpermLimit > 0 Then
    26.         Spooge = "Error: 2 - Not enough spooge"
    27.         Exit Function
    28.     End If
    29.         Spooge = "Success! " & PersonSrc.Name & " ejaculated on " & PersonDest.Name
    30.    
    31. Else
    32.     If SpermLimit > 0 Then
    33.         Spooge = "Way to go, you cummed on yourself!"
    34.     End If
    35. End If
    36. End Function
    37.  
    38. Private Sub Form_Load()
    39. Person(0).Name = "Jenny McCarthy"
    40. Person(0).Gender = Female
    41. Person(0).Age = 0 'who cares
    42. Person(0).BustSize = 999999
    43.  
    44. Person(1).Name = "Visual Basic"
    45. Person(1).Gender = 0
    46. Person(1).Age = 0 ' who cares
    47. Person(1).BustSize = 0 'what a shame
    48. MsgBox Spooge(Person(1), 1, Person(0), 9999, 9999)
    49. End Sub

  31. #31
    So Unbanned DiGiTaIErRoR's Avatar
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    And....
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  32. #32
    Lively Member SmashX's Avatar
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    BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ROFLMAO!

  33. #33
    PowerPoster
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    this thread offends me. Take it elsewhere.

  34. #34
    Monday Morning Lunatic parksie's Avatar
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    *click* *crackle* Uhhh, kettle, pot here, oover. *crackle* *click* Yo, pot, this is kettle. What's the prob? *click* Um, just wanted to mention you're looking awfully dark today...
    I refuse to tie my hands behind my back and hear somebody say "Bend Over, Boy, Because You Have It Coming To You".
    -- Linus Torvalds

  35. #35
    The Devil crptcblade's Avatar
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    Originally posted by parksie
    *click* *crackle* Uhhh, kettle, pot here, oover. *crackle* *click* Yo, pot, this is kettle. What's the prob? *click* Um, just wanted to mention you're looking awfully dark today...
    Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you just water down your vodka.


    Take credit, not responsibility

  36. #36
    <?="Moderator"?> john tindell's Avatar
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    Originally posted by jesus4u
    this thread offends me. Take it elsewhere.
    no comment!

  37. #37
    Fanatic Member SeaHag's Avatar
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    i only had this happen once.. She was such a prude too..
    but I guess spooge on the carpet of her moms new house was a whole lot more to deal with than swallowing..

    Heeeheheee

    Seahag

  38. #38
    Frenzied Member macai's Avatar
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    Originally posted by jesus4u
    this thread offends me. Take it elsewhere.
    Your the only one whose offended. You can't expect the world to
    cease the production of things that offend you. If YOU get
    offended, go away. Simple as that.
    Luke

  39. #39
    Hyperactive Member Blinky Bill's Avatar
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    Originally posted by jesus4u
    this thread offends me. Take it elsewhere.
    J4U, I have a deal for you. I will never post about sexual matters when you stop posting about religion. Okay? You no religion threads, Me no Sex threads. Then noone gets offended.
    We don't know what's wrong. . . So the best bet might be to remove something surgically.

  40. #40
    Banned Michael_Kamen's Avatar
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    I think that will be very hard for the both of you....

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